


I'll be back

by lantia4ever



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Adventure, Angst, F/M, Gen, General, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lantia4ever/pseuds/lantia4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Atlantis' return to Pegasus lives are lost in what appears to be just an accident. Series of nearly fatal events however uncover a plot to destroy the fragile balance of powers in the galaxy and see both Atlantis and Earth to ruin. But there is someone out there, who just might be the much needed help...or Atlantis' undoing.</p><p>Takes place in "season 6" (that never happened :/)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Future set in motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Genre: General/Adventure/Suspense
> 
> Spoilers: for all seasons
> 
> Set in after the season's five finale.
> 
> Warnings: only mild language and violence throughout the story, character death
> 
> Status: Complete
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Stargate, or Atlantis, or Sheppard (damn) or Lorne (double-damn), or the idea of this story...oh wait, that's what I actually do own...
> 
> Not beta read!

 

  
**Chapter one - Future set in motion** _  
_

_He was a mess. His hair was damp with sweat and blood, his face smeared with dirt and clothes torn into bits and pieces. And so he stood on what was once his favourite spot in the city. Overlooking the vast ocean with his unfocused gaze, he was holding onto the only thing keeping him sane right now – a piece of paper, in no better shape than he was._

_His gun laid discarded next to him with no more clips to be loaded with. Not that he'd have a reason to use it anymore._

_He was standing there, alone. For there was no one else alive in the city. Everyone was lying dead on the floor. His enemies and his friends alike._

_Atlantis was quiet for it has become a city of the dead. And the one person who survived was not feeling any more alive than the corpses scattered around him._

_His eyes suddenly snapped from the strange haze and he once again eyed the paper in his hands._

" _Where are you then…?" he whispered into the silence. "Where were you?" he asked with a hint of anguish in his voice and stared at the elegant writing on the paper._

'I'll be back :)'

_That's what it said._

_And John Sheppard no longer believed it._

* * *

"Do you have any idea what this is about?" blurted out Rodney, obviously irritated, pacing around in Woolsey's office. "I don't know about you, but I'm in the middle of a serious research into an ancient device Lorne brought in yesterday. I have to get back in the lab as soon as possible I mean…Zelenka is all over the thing, god knows he can blow up half of the city…or something."

"Don't worry McKay, when it comes to blowing stuff up, you still hold the record," Sheppard retorted with the same portion of irritation.

"Oh come on! That was like three years ago!" Rodney said, looking hurt by the colonel's remark.

"I have a good memory. Besides, the solar system is going to stay a mess for millennia after your little lightning show."

"Right, just blame it all on me, like you didn't…"

"Don't…even start McKay," warned Sheppard with a dangerous hint in his voice, telling Rodney he probably shouldn't continue. If he doesn't want to eat lemon.

"Gentlemen," greeted them Woolsey, going for his chair and sitting down. "I apologize for the wait."

"No problem," assured him Sheppard and smirked, as Rodney was about to go all out into the pressing matter of the ancient device and Zelenka.

"Well in that case, I'll go straight to the point," he sighted and eyed both men present with a meaningful expression. "As of tomorrow, I am relieved of my position as the leader of this expedition," he said bluntly, watching the mixture of shock and surprise crossing the other men's faces. "The IOA has made the decision just this morning."

"Wha…but we've been back in Pegasus for barely a week…what did you do? I mean, you didn't even have the time to do anything at all," Rodney said, his brain obviously occupied with thinking up hundreds of possible reasons for Woolsey's demotion.

Woolsey smiled humorlessly. "You know the IOA. They don't really need a reason. And if they do, I'm sure they'd find one anyway."

"I don't get it," frowned Sheppard. "I thought they were happy with you as the leader of Atlantis. If anything…you used to be IOA too. That should give you some bonus points right?"

"I guess not." He smiled again, trying to dismiss the tension.

"So…who's gonna replace you? What I mean is…you're good at…this," complimented him Sheppard, pointing absently at the office. "What if it's some sorta…weirdo."

"It's me," Rodney blurted out suddenly, making it sound as the revelation of the year.

Sheppard grimaced and turned to Rodney. "Which is stressing my previously voiced worry."

"Ha ha, it makes sense Colonel Envious. Why else would the two of us be here?" he asked, not waiting for an answer. "Hm? Listen and try to catch up with your tiny little mind. I'm the head of the science department, while YOU are already the military commander. Why would I be here, if I'm not the one getting promoted? I'm getting the chair and you're here just to know who's going to be your new…boss," he smiled happily, clearly liking the sound of his theory.

Sheppard eyed him suspiciously, then turned back to Woolsey, his face seemingly horror-stricken. "Please tell me he's wrong…because it actually sounded quite reasonable."

Both men stared at Woolsey eager to know if Rodney's right. "The truth is, Doctor McKay, you are in fact getting a promotion."

"See? I knew it!"

"You are to become an official second in command, or should I say, the right hand to the new leader of Atlantis," clarified Woolsey before Rodney got the chance to hyperventilate from all the excitement. "And that would of course be Colonel Sheppard, also getting a promotion."

"Oh…," Rodney sighed with a sudden disappointment written all over his face.

Sheppard cringed at the thought. "Now that…I was not expecting. How did **that** happen?"

"Beats me," replied Rodney, going back to his annoyed thus annoying state of being.

Woolsey cleared his throat gaining attention from the two boys ready to go into a full-blown argument over their egos. "It seems the IOA along with the Stargate Command and Homeworld security decided you to be the most experienced and suitable for the job. And who can argue with that."

"I would," mumbled McKay.

"Either way, the promotion will take place here next week along with Lorne's promotion to Lieutenant Colonel as he will take the place of the military commander in your stead."

"Good, can't imagine anyone better for that position," agreed Sheppard, slowly absorbing all the news.

"So what am I supposed to do now as **the** second in command? It's not like I wasn't that kind of person already…in a way."

"I was told, even before I had become the leader of the expedition myself, that the two of you come as a package deal. You benefit from each other's abilities and experiences. I believe that together, you can lead Atlantis better, than anyone the IOA would send in case you'd refuse."

"Hm," hummed Rodney in what could be interpreted as satisfying manner.

"Well said," praised him Sheppard. "Although I am not entirely sure of this set up."

"I am quite sure you'll do well, colonel. Don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually."

It was probably meant to sound reassuring, but Sheppard couldn't help but feel uncomfortable still.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have some final reports to finish."

He bade them a quick goodbye and they have without further ado left the ex-leader of Atlantis to himself.

* * *

John made his way to his room, still in a bit of a haze. One would say he had enough time to learn from his bosses throughout the years, but now, facing the reality of him being in their shoes, his confidence is slowly leaving him.

How could he possibly ever live up to the leadership standards of those before him? Woolsey is a skilled speaker, his decisions always heavily rationalized and his appearance giving this kind of leaderi _sh_ vibe. Carter, being both military and a scientist, had a way to handle any kind of situation…and any kind of annoying scientist or rebellious soldier. And Elizabeth…well, no one can ever replace her now that is for sure.

He diminished the thoughts of her, his mind trying to lead him to memories locked away in his heart, never to be re-opened again. As he entered his quarters, he immediately noticed the flashing new mail icon on the screen of his laptop, it being the only light in the dim room.

 _Must be Rodney, probably trying to mock me with something already_ , he mused and almost had the urge to delete the message at once. Instead he clicked it open to find out what's it about.

_The ancient device is dangerous. Don't let the research continue._

Was all it said. Sheppard frowned at the strange message, sent by an anonymous address. Of course it could be a message of a great importance, then again, the only person capable of sending unauthorized messages AND the one person that would certainly be amused by him sounding the alarm and trying to save the day again, is no one else but the one and only Meredith McKay.

If he wanted laugh, he was so not going to give it to him. At least not THAT easily. He deleted the mail, shut the laptop down and prepared himself to call it a night.

* * *

He was woken by an urgent banging on the door next morning. There was an accident in the labs. Richard Woolsey and Radek Zelenka were present.

They didn't make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Originally posted on ff.net. Seeing I will be hanging out in here a lot more, reading and writing, might as well have my one and only finished work here too :3
> 
> Hope you'll like it ^^
> 
> PS: yes, I am a big Evan Lorne fan ;D I need more Evan Lorne stories. Pls write more Evan Lorne stories...I will read them till the end of the world :D


	2. The Revival

The funeral took place three days later. Everyone gathered up in the gate room to say goodbye to the late head of the expedition and the brilliant Czech scientist. Apart from a short speech both Sheppard and McKay gave, the room remained dead silent throughout the whole ceremony. And as they watched the two coffins leave through the Gate, they slowly started to disperse, some returning to their job, some gathering up in small groups and conversing silently.

Sheppard headed for _his_ office, he undressed from the military jacket, threw it on the sofa and sat down next to it. He stared blankly at the opposite wall his mind however in turmoil. For three days straight he's been thinking about the strange warning message. He considered it to be a practical joke, most likely conducted by McKay. But in just a few hours it turned out to be as serious as possible.

Whoever sent that mail, was trying to warn him. Whoever it was, he saw the accident coming and wanted _him_ to prevent it from happening. Why would he send the message to him anyway? Why just not send it to McKay or Zelenka directly? And even better, if he knew what was going to happen, why not just come and say it personally. 'If McKay re-programs the device and Zelenka tries to run it for testing purposes the device will overload and explode due to the lack of failsafe that was erased during the re-programming.' Would that really be that much of a bother?

Even though he was beating himself up over it, he decided it was not his fault. If anyone's, it was the fault of that email person not being able to forward the message properly. Or so he tried to convince himself with.

"Anyone in there?" spoke an irritating voice. McKay stood by the entrance and watched Sheppard's blank expression.

His face was the picture of boredom, but John knew it was just a mask for the mourning scientist to hide behind. He and Zelenka were mostly seen arguing nonstop about anything and everything, but despite the 'bickering old-couple' appearance, they were friends too.

He peeled his eyes off of the wall and eyed the scientist. "What you got McKay?"

Rodney nodded and moved to sit next to him. "Not much actually. After I had managed to restore the message, that you've so skillfully deleted I might add, I tried to trace it to its source."

"And?" Sheppard pried for more, ignoring Rodney's remark altogether.

"And nothing," Rodney said, still surprised at the revelation himself. "All I could figure out was that whoever sent it used a subspace transmitter, so I can safely assume that it was not sent from within Atlantis."

Sheppard frowned. "How does that help us Rodney?"

"As I said, I couldn't…look, it's not as easy as you might think. He used a transmitter I cannot trace, he was also clever enough to hack into our mainframe to set up his own anonymous account AND authorize it in _my_ name. This guy means business, alright?"

"So I'm not wrong if I say, that this…guy is a possible treat to the city and we should probably track him down as soon as possible," Sheppard said, watching Rodney intensely.

Rodney glared back at him, not understanding what he wants him to do.

Sheppard rolled his eyes and pointed to the door. "And by 'as soon as possible' I mean…right now, so get going."

"Oh. Right," Rodney replied and exited the office, leaving Sheppard alone with his now wrinkled uniform McKay so carelessly sat on.

* * *

This time the banging on the door woke him up in the middle of the night.

"Colonel?" he heard a desperate female voice call him.

He sat up and tried to wake himself the best he could. "Just come in, doc."

The door swooshed open to reveal obviously dead tired Jennifer Keller. "What's up, doc?" Sheppard asked as he disentangled himself from the blankets.

She sighed, trying to catch her breath. "We have an outbreak in the city," she informed, still breathing heavily. "It's…it's the Hoffan plague."

* * *

"So far, we have ten people suffering from the symptoms including Colonel Lorne and…and Rodney," she looked down and waited for the Colonel to say something. They were now in her office next to the infirmary, wide awake.

"He must be freaking out," he said bemused.

"Yeah. Already written his will and managed to bring up his death in every single conversation," she tried to say jokingly, but failed.

"Sounds like Rodney." At that moment, Ronon entered the office. "Hey buddy, you got any news?"

"No ill people on Athos," he answered simply.

John nodded. _Finally some good news_ , he thought. "What about Teyla?"

"She'll let us know if somethin' happens."

"Good. So, what's the plan?" Sheppard asked looking back at Keller.

Jennifer cleared her throat but remained silent.

"Come on, doc, you gotta have something on your mind…some sort of…master plan on how to cure them all," said Sheppard with hints of impatience but hope in his voice.

Jennifer faced him desperately. "If I had, don't you think I would be out there, distributing the miraculous cure amongst all the worlds Michael infected? There is _no_ cure," she said, lowering her gaze to watch her hands lying limply on her desk. "I still don't even know how Michael managed to lower the fatality ratio. Once the drug is down your system and the body rejects it...all I can do is…treat the symptoms," she said, close to a whisper evading the stares of both men present.

"There must be something…we could call Beckett and…,"

"Colonel…," she stopped him, "…there's just not enough time."

* * *

He watched as the infirmary started to get crowded. More and more people got ill with every hour and somehow, he felt responsible. According to Keller, the Hoffan drug was upgraded and somehow smuggled into the food supply from one of Atlantis's off world dealers, thus affecting everyone who ate it for yesterday's lunch…which was almost everyone on the base.

Naturally there's nothing he could've done to prevent it. But he should be able to do something about it now! Knowing there is not such a possibility is what's killing him. That and Rodney terrorizing every nurse in the room with newly developed symptoms…every few minutes.

Suddenly, he was walking towards his quarters with a crazy thought in mind. Crazy, because it made no sense at all. He knew it. And yet, he was still walking.

He paused at the entrance _. Just how desperate is this?_ He thought and against his better judgment entered the room.

This time, he was by his laptop reading the mysterious message in seconds.

If he was confused the first time, now he had a feeling somebody was indeed playing practical jokes on him. Some sort of psycho who enjoyed seeing him suffer.

Not that he was expecting anything. But a strange series of numbers was certainly not expected at all.

He sank to his chair and watched the screen, ready to lose all the hope. His finger hovered over the 'Delete' button and as he pressed it, he officially felt depressed.

He sighed. Was this always so difficult? Being the leader of Atlantis? As he thought back on the five years, it probably was. But he was the military commander for just as long. He should be used to all this…right?

Before his mind could lead him deeper into dark thoughts, the screen flashed once again with an incoming message.

_Is he mocking me…whoever he is?_

He was about to delete it again, thinking what a good riddance it will be. But then he noticed something different about the mail. Something, that wasn't there before. The mail had a Subject:

' _Read it!'_

It surprised him so much he could only blankly stare at the screen for a moment or two. When he did open the mail, he was once again met with the matrix code, as he named it, only now with a note under it:

' _Show it to McKay_.'

He didn't wait to be told twice…or third time, he took the laptop and sprinted for the infirmary.

* * *

"You. Are. An. Idiot." Rodney said, stressing each word. "Seriously, whoever that stalker of yours is, he clearly doesn't know how stupid you are or he would definitely NOT be sending all this to _you_."

"McKay!"

"Right. These," showing him the matrix code again, "…these are planet coordinates. Really Sheppard, that's like basic physics, how could you delete this so recklessly!" he scolded him.

Sheppard raised his hand in a half defensive, half warning manner. "I didn't know it could mean anything…besides you said it yourself. This guy is dangerous. Why should we believe anything he writes?"

"Ha, Colonel Oblivious! I said this guy is clever enough to hack to our mainframe and my personal account, not that he's dangerous. I mean with that ability he could do so much more, cut the power for days, overload the ZedPM, set in motion safety protocols, locking us up for weeks leaving us totally vulnerable…but no. He just sends emails. I'm telling you, if he wanted us hurt or dead or worse, he had every opportunity these past few days. No I think he's trying to help us. You see, these coordinates…I've located the planet they point to on the Pegasus galaxy map."

"And? Which one is it?"

"That's the thing. We have no idea. We've never been there, because according to the Ancient database, there is no stargate on this planet."

Sheppard grimaced and closed his eyes. "How does that help us then?"

"I don't know!" Rodney replied almost offended. "Why didn't he send you a warning about the spoiled food in the first place? Now that would be helpful not just some sort of…"

"He wants us to go there," Sheppard whispered. "That's it!"

It was Rodney's turn to not understand. "That's what? Sheppard?"

But Sheppard was already working on something on the laptop.

McKay rolled his eyes and collapsed into the pillow. "Right, just keep it to yourself then, it's not like I am dying over here or anything!"

"Isn't it obvious Rodney?" For the first time since the accident three days ago, Sheppard smiled. "He wanted me to stop the research because he must've known what's going to happen."

"How's that…"

"I don't know _how_ it's possible, he just…knows things. Look, he wants us to go to that planet, because…most likely…there is something or someone that can help us now with the Hoffan plague. It's not like he would bother to send the coordinates _, twice_ , just to humor us with a discovery of some planet across the galaxy."

"Just how difficult it is to write 'Go to this location to get the cure for the plague'. Seriously, that stalker sucks!" Rodney whined.

"Yeah, you know what, the next time I meet him, I'm gonna complain about the very same thing. But for now, let's just focus on getting the all of you healthy again."

In that precise moment, the laptop came back to life again, with one another message.

* * *

Later, on board the Deadalus, Sheppard, Ronon, McKay and Doctor Michihiko waited to be given a green light to fly the jumper to the planet.

"You okay there McKay?" Sheppard eyed him suspiciously out of the corner of his eye.

"Never better…what do you think? I'm so dead if this turns out to be just a pile of rocks, with nothing of interest at all!"

"Yeah yeah, just keep calm in there, 'kay?"

" _Colonel, you have a go,"_ informed him Caldwell via radio _. "We just dropped out of hyperspace. Your planet's dead ahead."_

"Copy that. Alright, buckle up ladies."

Having observed structures definitely made by some sort of civilization, Sheppard landed with the jumper as close as he dared and so they headed for what appeared to be quite an impressive city.

"So, what do you think McKay?" Sheppard asked the stumbling scientist.

"Looks…fairly…promising," he breathed out heavily but continued walking anyway.

"Hang in there smart boy," he smirked just as he got a nudge from Ronon.

"We got some locals right there," he pointed to a crowd of people gathering on a small square, watching the Atlanteans curiously.

"Alright, let me handle this," John offered and stepped up to the people. "Hey, um…How're you doing?"

The citizens exchanged confused looks and continued to eye the newcomers suspiciously.

Sheppard grimaced and looked back at his teammates. "That went well."

" _Ano…_ ," spoke suddenly a short man, stepping out of the crowd and carefully closing up on them. " _Omaetachi wa…dare desu ka_?"

Sheppard raised his brows, confused. "What's that McKay…Chinese?"

McKay rolled his eyes. "Do I look like a linguist to you?"

"It's Japanese, sir," spoke Doctor Michihiko, almost forgotten until now.

McKay was surprised for a moment, but then he suddenly came to an understanding. "Hm. So THAT would explain why the stalker wanted her here of all the people, I mean she's a _geologist_!"

Sheppard nodded. "And native Japanese." He turned to Michihiko. "Doc, do you think you'll be able to forward our message to them?"

Before answering, she faced the citizen that stood patiently in front of them. " _W_ _atashitachi wa ryokousha desu. Tankeka desu_."

The man nodded slowly and pointed at himself. " _Boku wa Hiroichi da._ "

She smiled and replied: " _Michihiko Asami, yoroshiku ne_ ," she said with a smile and bowed slightly.

He did the same and looked over his shoulder at the curious crowd speaking to them shortly.

"Yes sir, I believe I can," she told Sheppard with a smile.

* * *

"Seriously, Japanese in the middle of the Pegasus galaxy, that's just strange," McKay said as they were beamed down to the gate room.

Sheppard grimaced disapprovingly. "Not any stranger than English all over the galaxy. Besides…"

"Colonel?" a female voice stopped him mid sentence.

"Ah, doc, here you are," he greeted her and outstretched his hand, holding on to a medical box. "Here, take it. It's the cure."

Her eyes widened and she was just about to speak her mind, when Sheppard beat her to it. "Explanations can wait for later, there's enough to distribute among all that are showing symptoms AND enough for you to study and recreate. And after that, you can go on that huge holiday travelling across the galaxy, distributing it to all the worlds afflicted."

Keller was speechless; so she just nodded and took the box from Sheppard. "Let's start with you Rodney."

"Ha, no need to," he smiled triumphantly. "As it turns out, I was requested by the stalker to be present, so they could isolate the disease in my blood and use the acquired knowledge to make the cure. Seems the planet has some unique plants and the locals seem to be quite…advanced in the ah…herbology," his smile widened. "I'm hundred percent cured, hundred percent alive and hundred percent sure I am not about to die any moment now." His smile faded suddenly. "At least I think I'm not."

Keller smiled at that. "Okay, I'll be going then," and headed for the infirmary.

* * *

_Just another crazy day in this crazy galaxy_ , John thought as he sat in his office, writing the report. He stopped for a second as he realized just how bad the day could've played out. But thanks to his mysterious stalker, as Rodney named him, they were not only able to save the ill Lanteans, but will be able to save hundreds of other people throughout the galaxy.

He saved the report and exited the program, ending up in watching his mail box, where the last message still lingered open.

' _Take McKay and Michihiko with you._ '

Sheppard massaged his temples, exhausted, trying to think. This person knew stuff. And it was not just technical knowledge or their names. He knew _them_. And so much more.

But Sheppard remained cautious. He was grateful to him, in a way, yes. He did just save a lot of people after all. But that doesn't change the fact, that he's watching from somewhere afar, safe, unknown. Why doesn't he show himself? What kind of game is he playing?

"Who are you?" he whispered into the empty room as he stared intently at the screen.

Sheppard decided that no matter what, he's going to find out.

* * *

She stood on the bridge, her eyes watching something far away, deep in the darkness of space. Resolve was written all over her face.

 _This is it_ , she thought ironically.

She was about to sacrifice everything she has, just to save them. Like she did before.

There was no regret, no second thoughts. After all, she is already dead.

She died so long ago. And there's no going back.

She heard footsteps behind her.

"I'm ready," Elizabeth Weir said decisively and faced the newcomer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Japanese parts:
> 
> Omaetachi wa…dare desu ka? - Who are you people?
> 
> Watashitachi wa ryokousha desu. Tankeka desu. - We are travellers, explorers.
> 
> Boku wa Hiroichi da. - I am Hiroichi.
> 
> Michihiko Asami, yoroshiku ne. - I am Michihiko Asami, nice to meet you.


	3. Ghosts of the past

_What a nice day_ , Sheppard mused to himself. Indeed, the skies above Atlantis were a clear blue and the sun produced a comfortable heat.

"…and we have simulated the system's requirement on power…"

_Maybe I could go surfing in the afternoon. Or steal Ronon for golf._

"…overall we believe it to be quite a discovery, it could effectively…"

_Most of the guys are planning on cutting some slack today anyway…_

"…um, sir?"

_I'm definitely not letting McKay drag me into the research he mentioned yesterday._

"Colonel?"

"Hm?" Sheppard said, focusing on the two scientists sitting in front of him in his office.

"Were you…listening to any of this?" one of them asked.

Sheppard mustered up the best hurt expression he could. "Of _course_ I was. All this um…technological…advancements you've made. Brilliant!"

The two men exchanged a suspicious look.

"But you know what, why don't you go and explain it all to McKay?"

"Well we thought you'd want to know first, besides, you're the leader of this place so…"

 _Yeah, no need to remind of that_. "That's true and as the leader…of this…place, I'm officially approving…this project of yours, so you should now proceed to discuss the details with my…second in command. I'm sure he will be…intrigued by your idea."

"You think?" both of them asked with doubt.

"Definitely! Trust me, he will _love_ this."

They smiled at each other happily and looked back at the colonel.

Sheppard stared back at them expectantly, but when they stayed silent, he beat them to it. "Dismissed."

Even before they stood up to leave, Sheppard was already not paying any attention to them. He was endorsed in the idea of going surfing and setting up a golf court on the mainland.

As expected, when the word of the Atlantis's boss leaving to spend the rest of the day on the beach spread, everyone was in on it. So apart from those with daily duties appointed, or insane scientists like McKay, that will rather do a research instead of a beach party, most of the expedition gathered on the mainland enjoying whatever activity they could bring over with them.

After Ronon won over him in golf…the real thing this time…four times, Sheppard called it 'a tie' and went to rest on the beach, leaving Ronon to find another victim to defeat with his ridiculous swinging technique.

 _Perfect_ , John thought as he lay comfortably on the warm sand, ready to take a nap.

"There you are!"

 _Or not…_ "What are you doing here McKay and before you answer...be sure I am not going anywhere to admire any of your newest inventions." Sheppard said, not bothering to open his eyes or sit up.

"I thought so," smirked McKay. "And that's why I brought it here."

Now that caught his attention. "What?" he sat up, his eyes scanning McKay to find the perpetuum mobile he constructed this time. To his surprise, all he carried was a laptop. "What is it now?"

"Hm. Your friend…the one that doesn't call, doesn't show up and recently doesn't even write…the stalker?" he clarified when Sheppard gave him his usual 'I have no idea what are you saying' look. "Well I've been working on tracking him down."

"Found him?"

"No."

Sheppard glared at him for a second and then lay down again, uninterested.

"Would you just listen? I didn't find the exact location, but I was able to simulate the same frequency and _approximate_ location of where the signal is coming from."

Sheppard cracked open one eye. "Meaning?"

"I have updated your mail with a simple script that is able to send a message back," he explained, obviously satisfied with himself.

"Cool," Sheppard admitted.

"There's one more thing," he pointed out as he was giving Sheppard the laptop. "I've analyzed the signal's signature and…I am hundred percent sure the transmitter he uses is of an Ancient design."

"So he must possess the gene?"

"Not necessarily. He could just kidnap someone with the gene and use him," Rodney theorized.

"Right. I'm sure he does just that."

"It's also possible he is in possession of more Ancient tech, for all I know, he could be on board Atlantis's twin or a space ship _or_ a Jumper."

" _Or_ he just stole it all from a deserted Ancient outpost… _or_ something," Sheppard said amused. With the stranger's reputation in being all mysterious and unpredictable, he's given up theorizing about him altogether. "So, what are you up to?"

"I'm staying here, actually ah, Jennifer brought some food and we are…going for a picnic," he said happily.

"Oh. Well have fun kids, and be back before curfew."

McKay gave him the thumbs up and walked away.

It took Sheppard a whole minute, before he started the laptop and decided to try Rodney's newest upgrade. If just for fun. He highly doubted he can get an answer; after all, the stalker must have already changed locations, so until he contacts them first, the messages sent will most likely be unheard.

He smirked and written a simple ' _Hi_ '.

He couldn't help but chuckle at his childish behavior, but for the first time in weeks, he's feeling carefree enough to joke around with anyone. And to his outmost surprise, someone was willing to play along as a fast reply came up.

' _Took McKay long enough_.'

Maybe not so out of range after all, he mused and started to think what should he write back. Or better yet which one of the hundreds of questions he has, should he ask first. But he didn't get the chance. Instead another message came through, one that signals the end of the conversation.

' _Enjoy the rest of your day off_.'

For some reason, Sheppard did not like the sound of that.

* * *

When he got up the next morning the first thing he noticed was the darkness of the room. Checking the alarm clock to be sure of the time, he then noticed the dark clouds outside the window covering the sky that was so blue just yesterday.

_No Golf today, huh?_

Once he grabbed a turkey sandwich and a cup of coffee for breakfast he headed down to the control room. It was already full of people passing by and fuzzing around the consoles.

"What a day, sir," Banks commented from where she sat by the dialing console.

"Yeah, looks like some heavy rain's gonna come," Sheppard replied and watched the gloomy atmosphere outdoors.

"That's too bad. Colonel Lorne was planning a beach volleyball tournament in the afternoon," she said disappointed.

Sheppard raised his brows. "Oh, was he now? Well unless he'll change it into mud wrestling, I guess there'll be no grand sports show today."

She smiled at that and focused back on her work.

* * *

Sheppard relaxed into his chair and finished his coffee, completely cold by now.

 _Time for lunch_ , he thought happily but his cheerful mood disappeared as he once again eyed the window. In just a few hours, the predicted rain really came. Along with quite a storm _. Definitely no beach volleyball_.

He was just about to leave for the mess hall, when the laptop's screen blinked with an incoming message.

 _Please let it just be McKay_ , he prayed as he opened it. _Not McKay_.

' _Collapse the city shield around the ZPM room_.'

 _Wow. He actually bothered to write exactly what needs to be done. Now that's new_ , he thought amused, wondering if he should write back. But just when he thought about what to write, another message came.

' _Now!_ '

"Okay, alright!" he said in a defensive manner. "I get it. Conversations can wait." He didn't wait for whatever was supposed to happen and tapped his radio. "McKay _!_ "

" _Yes_?" came an uninterested reply.

"I need you to…or should I say, _the stalker_ needs you to collapse the shield around the ZPM room," he paraphrased.

" _Wha…just why would I…_ "

"Now McKay! Just do it alright? Questions can wait."

" _Okay, fine… I'm on it!_ "

Sheppard watched the screen for a few more moments just to be sure no more message arrives and when it didn't, he headed straight for the control room.

"Banks, you got something going on in here?"

She checked her computer to be sure, but shook her head anyway. "Negative, sir. Everything seems to be al…the shield just collapsed!" she stated the obvious, since everyone saw it shrinking.

"Yeah I told McKay to do it. Don't ask," he stopped as she was about to protest.

"Now, will you _please_ explain to me what's going on?" McKay shouted as he stormed through the door.

"I have no idea," Sheppard admitted.

"Hm. Well whatever it is, this brilliant idea of collapsing the shield around one room is leaving _the whole_ city vulnerable, I hope you do realize that!"

"Relax Rodney, we're clear. There's noth…"

"We have incoming!" shouted Banks as she spotted one dot on the screen signaling something just dropped out of hyperspace. "It's… a single dart."

Sheppard rolled his eyes. "Alright, we need the shield back up Rodney."

"Would you make up your mind?" he replied, irritated. He sat down next to Banks and started working on the computer. "No no no no no no…" he blurted out.

Sheppard closed up on him, searching for some sort of an answer on the screen. "What now?"

"The dart has just beamed something down…" Rodney answered in a whisper.

Sheppard nodded. "Uh…okay, give me ten minutes and I'll have a team to go and kill whatever it is."

"No you don't understand!" he shouted at him. "The dart beamed something into the ZedPM room. Right _through_ the shield!"

"That's not possible," opposed him Banks.

"I know!" he agreed just as a severe beeping made its way out of the computer. "What's that now!" he shouted again, angry at nothing in particular.

Sheppard watched him work frantically on two computers at once. "McKay! Talk to me."

Rodney stopped and turned to Sheppard with a mixture of numerous emotions playing on his face. "I ah…I got some good and some bad news."

"Good news, please. I need to hear some good news," Sheppard repeated.

"Well the dart is gone. However is that possible, it entered a hyperspace window again and left. Also, there are no additional life signs in the ZedPM area."

"Good," Sheppard said, obviously calmed by those facts. "The bad news?"

"It weren't wraith the dart beamed down. I don't know what it really is…yet, but we are so screwed!"

"Rodney!"

"The shielded area around the ZedPM? The radiation levels in there are through the roof and there's something even worse going on I can't quite put my finger on, but…look, whatever it is, it's affecting the ZedPM to the point where it can overload! And I'm talking _hours_ here!"

Sheppard sighed. This is NOT happening. "Dammit. What about the shield? I mean you'll probably need to disconnect the ZPM, so the shield will not hold the radiation in."

"Right…um, it's not that big of an area, I think I can set up a few Naquada generators to maintain the shield for the time being."

"Alright, do your stuff. Banks, find Lorne for me. And Ronon," he told her over his shoulder as he headed back to his office.

* * *

He was staring at the screen for half an hour already. After he briefed the two men about the situation, he decided to contact the stalker to find out what to do now. So far, he got no response.

 _What now?_ No response. _So you just start something and leave it unfinished?_ No response. _You do know we are about to explode into tiny bits and pieces, right?_ No response.

He only hoped, for that person's sake, that he just got out of range from his previous location.

"Here you are. So listen," Rodney entered the office and wasted no time. "That thing that was beamed down, it appears to be some sort of an Ancient device, probably a weapon. It emits a deadly portion of radiation along with quite a corrosive, highly toxic substance. The ZedPM is down, but the shield holds for now with the generators."

"So we are basically sitting ducks here, no power, no shield or cloak…" Sheppard said, analyzing the situation himself.

"Ironically enough, before dozen of Wraith ships drop out of hyperspace, we will eventually be blown to pieces, so…"

"There's that."

"On the other hand, if we wouldn't collapse the shield around the area, according to my calculations, the effects of the device would be quite severe. It would stretch all the way through three levels and eight hundred feet across. Which means everyone in that area would be dead by now, me included…and…mess hall full of people too."

 _So this day could've actually ended up worse_ , Sheppard thought, the idea sending shivers down his spine. "Any idea on how did they manage to beam it through the shield?"

"Um…no. And I don't see how is that relevant to what I'm trying to tell you in here! We are about to die!"

"Calm down Rodney, you'll think of something, like…how to shut the device down or destroy it…or something," he tried, making it sound reassuring.

"In case you still do not understand, there's no way to do that! Well…there is, someone would have to go there and shut the device down manually, but it's not really a viable option, since it would kill you in seconds!"

"As I was saying, I am sure you'll figure something out!" John was no longer sure who he was trying to convince.

"And I am tell…"

Before he could finish, the Stargate came to life and Banks announced an incoming wormhole.

"Raise the shield!" shouted Sheppard as he sprinted towards the control room.

"No power, no power, no power," Rodney chanted behind him.

"Dammit," he spitted out as the seventh chevron locked and the gate activated. "You got an IDC Banks?"

"Nothing yet."

Before Sheppard could call for reinforcements to secure the gate room, a lone figure stepped through and the gate shut down.

Sheppard was speechless, to say the least. So in the end it was Rodney, who dared to speak up.

"Elizabeth?"

 


	4. The long goodbye

There she was, in her replicator body, different face and different voice, but it was Elizabeth nonetheless. That he was sure of. Now.

"Hold your fire!" he shouted at the guards with his newly found voice. He exchanged a curious look with McKay and then both men ran down the stairs to meet their ex-leader and friend, who still stood there waiting patiently.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney repeated.

She smiled slightly. "Rodney...and _Colonel_ Sheppard. Congratulations."

"I was also promoted!" McKay protested.

Her smile widened at that. "Good for you Rodney."

An uncomfortable silence set in, neither knowing what to say.

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Well, I believe the time is of the essence. Talking can wait."

"What do you mean?" Sheppard asked dumbfounded.

She looked in his eyes briefly. "The device the wraith dart beamed down to the ZPM? I can shut it down."

* * *

He watched her sitting in the briefing room, talking with Rodney, heavy guard standing by the door. Why does his past always come back to haunt him? To re-open the wounds it once made, so they can bleed again.

He didn't know. And he gave up trying to find out.

" _You may still think you're Elizabeth…but you're not. "_

Holding her at a gun point, that was one of the last words he told her. And he was proven wrong. She was still Elizabeth no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.

He took a deep breath and entered the room. The two occupants stopped their conversation and turned to face Sheppard.

First one to speak was Elizabeth. "What is the delay John? There's not much time left," she said, her brows raised in question, watching him intently.

"She's right, if we are going to do this, we need to do it soon. And by soon I mean…now!" McKay added urgently.

"Rodney…" Sheppard said, looking at McKay expectantly, and then returning his gaze to Elizabeth.

"Hm?" he hummed, not understanding, looking between the two leaders. "Oh," he exclaimed as he finally got it. "You want me to…?"

"Yes."

He nodded and started for the exit. "Hm."

As the doors shut behind him, Sheppard assumed his previous sitting position in front of Elizabeth. For a moment, there was silence.

Sheppard looked up, staring straight into her eyes. "If you go there, you will die," he spoke frankly.

She watched him with confused expression.

"McKay must have told you. Even if you are…ah…"

"I know. My body will eventually not be able to repair the damage caused by the radiation and the toxins. I will manage to shut the device down, but shortly after, this body will fall apart," she said with not a hint of a single emotion.

Now it was his turn to be confused. "So you know where I see the problem in this plan."

"No I don't, look…this is the only way to save Atlantis. It's not the ZPM you should worry about like I was telling Rodney just now. The device's effects will build up to the point where the generators will not be able to hold it back anymore and when the shield fails…the radiation will suddenly get an opening to expand and engulf the whole city. And everybody will die."

"How do you know all that," he asked in a whisper.

"I just do. Now please. We must hurry," she said, standing up, ready to leave.

He stopped her at the door, grabbing her wrist. "Were you sending those messages to me?"

She looked back at him, perplexed. "What messages?" she asked, confusion written all over her face.

He searched the face for a hint of a lie, but failed to find one. "So who told you? Someone must have told you about this, someone made you come here."

She returned his blazing gaze. "Yes. Someone did," she admitted.

"Who was it?" he pried, almost desperate to know.

**_oooFLASHBACKooo_ **

_She woke up with a start. She didn't know where she was or why is she even awake. The last thing she remembered was a blurry image of the surviving Asurans re-materializing from the Stargate only to be met with the coldness of vacuum space. She remembered their confused faces. The hurt, the sadness, the piercing stab of her betrayal…it was written in their expressions._

_She led them to their death._

_And then there was nothing. Like she has fallen asleep. Only darkness._

" _Doctor Weir," a strange voice spoke deeply, disturbing her trail of thoughts._

_She tried to focus her eyes in the dim room and search for the source, just as she noticed she is in fact sitting in a chair, both her hands and legs strapped down with metal chains._

" _Please! Do not feel alarmed," the voice spoke again, softly. "These are merely safety measures. I suspected you'd be disoriented after waking up from what you probably considered your death. So I rather took no chances. For the sake of both of us. I can assure you I mean you no harm."_

_She didn't know why, but the words made her relax. They were spoken in a way she recognized. Rational and succinct. Calm and reassuring. With no obvious hint of an ulterior motive or a lie._

_She didn't recognize the voice, but whoever the person was, he spoke like a skilled negotiator. No, there was more. Hearing just the voice, she could tell. This person was a leader._

" _Where am I?" she asked, still trying to focus her sight._

" _Onboard my ship. I picked you up yesterday."_

" _Why?"_

_There was a pause, in which the lone person finally appeared in her line of sight. "Because I need your help. To save Atlantis."_

_She stared into the captivating eyes of her rescuer. Despite the person's low, deep voice, it was in fact a woman. Covered in the darkness of the room, she could tell no more. The only thing she could see clearly were those eyes. Piercing through the shadows with such a vivid shade of green._

" _Who are you?"_

" _There is no need for you to bother with knowing me, Doctor Weir. All you need to know is that Atlantis will be in trouble and I need you to help me. No…I need you to help them," she corrected._

_Is Atlantis in such a big trouble? By the slight urgency in her voice, she suspected it is. Elizabeth had no idea how long was she there, floating seemingly dead in space, but she had a feeling a lot has happened in the meantime._

" _What do you want me to do?"_

_The light of her eyes disappeared as she closed them. "Die for them."_

**_oooFLASHBACKooo_ **

She smiled slightly, staring into John's eyes. "I do not know. It is not important. I know what I must do. And I will do it."

His heart raced, he was breathing fast like he's just run for hours. There were so many emotions flickering behind his eyes, there was anger, hate, despair. There was regret. It made his blood boil, it was flowing through him like a poison and for once he feared he'll not be able to control it.

"Elizabeth…"

"What?" she replied softly.

What was he supposed to say? Or better yet, what was it he wanted to say? He didn't know and his gaze lowered from those strange unfamiliar brown ones that remained determined to do what had to be done.

In the end he whispered. "If you go, you will die."

A wave of realization crossed her face as she watched the man in front of her, still holding onto her hand. "I am already dead."

He looked up, her words catching his attention.

"I died the second the Asuran attack hit the control room. When I woke up in the isolation room, I was nothing more but a soul strapped into a body I no longer recognized. I no longer controlled," she paused, remembering their last encounter. "You were right John. I tried to humor myself with the thought I am still alive, that I am still… _me_. But I'm not. And I don't want to continue on…existing like this."

When he just stared at her, his voice lost, she added: "Elizabeth Weir is dead. So please, let her die the way she would want to. Saving the city and the people she loved so much while she was still alive."

He was having trouble processing all this. He understood her words, but something inside of him refused to accept them. He wasn't right, he was nowhere near right. He was an idiot. He acted like an asshole. No; worse. How can she not see that, why would she just give up like this?

Like she was reading his mind, she smiled sadly. "I know you John. I know you suffer when you lose people, when you have to let go. When you realize, there's nothing you can do. You get angry and blind and you say things you later regret. And you continue beating yourself up over it. Over and over again. Alone."

He gritted his teeth, the said anger once again creeping up to take over. Not anger towards her. Never her. He was angry at himself. How did she know him this well?

" _Sheppard, we need to hurry, the shield is not doing well in here,"_ Rodney informed him through his earpiece and John flinched with surprise.

It didn't escape Elizabeth's notice. "It's time. Listen to me," she commanded with a stern voice. "Stop being like this. Stop blaming yourself for what no one can take blame for. I know it is hard for you to talk about…emotions, feelings. But trust me, you can't do this on your own. You'll need someone to annoy you, to tell you what you do wrong, to stand up to you if necessary. Someone like Rodney," she chuckled. "Someone like you. Even someone like…Kavanagh. I know I couldn't do this without each and every one of you. And you will need them too. So don't distance yourself from your friends anymore. They know you better that you think," she pierced him with her brown eyes and waited for her words to sink in. Then, without another word, she opened the door and left accompanied by two guards.

He just stood there, immobile. His mind echoing her words, his heart shattered. All over again.

* * *

He came up to Rodney, as he was working frantically on his laptop, few feet away from the blazing inferno that was the ZPM room now. The shield was holding. For now.

"Talk to me smart boy."

"Hm? Oh, well it's like I've been explaining to Elizabeth a moment ago. I'll expand the shield a bit, so she can fit in and…she'll turn the thing down," he said, his face blank.

"Right, just that simple."

Rodney flinched at his words. "Yes actually, that simple."

"Before I go, there's one more thing I need to tell you," Elizabeth spoke up, drawing all the attention to her. "All these attacks…this device, the food sabotage, even the re-programmed device that in the end killed Doctors Woolsey and Zelenka…it's all a work of one person. After you have disposed of Michael, someone else took over the leadership of his Hybrids and is now trying to dispose of the one thing, that he still considers a treat in this galaxy. Atlantis."

"Who's that?" Ronon voiced everyone's question.

She shrugged. "This is all I have been told."

"By _that_ person," Sheppard spitted out, disgust evident in his voice.

Elizabeth looked at him with sad eyes. "Whatever it is you believe this person to be, I think you are wrong."

"He is toying with us from his little comfortable fortress somewhere far away! He's playing some sort of sick game with us _and_ you, that's what I think!" Sheppard almost shouted, his control slowly crumbling.

"Maybe. I believe, there's more to… _him_ than you can observe from afar. There's something bothering him too. Something painful. That much I figured even from the brief conversation we had."

**_oooFLASHBACKooo_ **

" _I'm ready," she said decisively and faced the woman behind her._

_She only nodded. "You will not have much time before it reaches critical mass but…you will have enough time to spend it with…a goodbye. Make sure you say everything you need to."_

" _Why are you telling me this?" she asked confused at her sudden compassionate words._

_She raised her chin, her eyes shifting to look somewhere far away. "In a way…you are lucky, Elizabeth. In the end, you'll be able to say your goodbyes. Believe me…they will want to know, they will want to hear. Don't leave them with nothing but the sad memories of the past. Don't leave them thinking they have sent you to die. It would be easy to die like that. But they would have to live with it. That's why you need to use that time. Tell them, until all they can do is stand speechless in front of you, close to crying. Tell them, so they remember your words rather than your death."_

_Her voice was distant as she spoke. Her usual calmness was disturbed with the hint of sadness behind the stunning green of her eyes. For a moment there, she reminded her of him. That look, it was just like his. There she was, another solitary person crawling through life with nothing but regrets of the past that cannot be returned nor changed. Alone. Distant._

_For a moment there, she reminded him of the one man she once loved. She reminded him of John Sheppard._

" _I will," she replied in the end, not knowing what to say to this woman that seemed to know how to save everyone, but herself._

**_oooFLASHBACKooo_ **

"Trust that person John, no matter what. Do that…for me."

As she said that, she exchanged a brief look with each person present, her final goodbye, and moved to stand close to the shield signaling she is ready.

"Let's do this Rodney."

McKay eyed Sheppard, expecting to be given a green light, but seeing the man watching the woman that was once Elizabeth Weir, his eyes betraying emotions kept away for so long, he dared not disturb him.

Instead he all too slowly hit the button on his laptop that set the shield in motion, engulfing Elizabeth and stopping in front of them.

And as she headed towards the device, feeling the pieces of her body being disintegrated, her mind was at peace. For the first time in two years.

* * *

As the fog lifted and the dark clouds marched away, the sun shone through them on its descent to the horizon. For a moment, light pierced the darkness of this day. If only for a while.

Sheppard sat in his office chair for an hour after everything was cleaned up and the ZPM reconnected. When he came here, he was full of bottled up anger and he was ready to spill it out on the first person viable. And the laptop seemed just so inviting at the time.

Sitting down, ready to write the stalker to oblivion, he had found a message for him instead.

And so he sat there now, taking deep breaths, calm, his eyes shining with unshed tears, watching the words on the screen.

' _Hate me all you want. Beat me up all you want. But don't let her sacrifice come in vain. Don't let her words be unheard…again. Because she is never coming back to repeat them._

* * *


	5. Of Lurking devils and Guardian Angels

"Why do I feel like this was a major waste of time, McKay?" Sheppard asked, glaring at the dozing off scientist.

McKay straightened up, disoriented. "Wha…what?"

"We've been waiting here for at least six hours!"

"Seven," Ronon corrected.

McKay rolled his eyes, irritated. "Why, exactly are you blaming me for this? I didn't provided that intel and I certainly didn't agree to meet _him_ here! Was all _your_ perfect idea!" he shouted at Sheppard and then lay his head back down on the table, sulking.

"He's gotta point," Ronon nodded turning to Sheppard, his face screaming boredom.

"So? It's not like I can bully the stalker about it. And why? Because _you_ were still not able to find him, so yes, I am blaming you," Sheppard smirked and continued to pierce McKay with an angry stare.

"Oh this is just so like you, Sheppard, I can't see…"

"What is it, Doctor McKay?" a dark voice spoke from the door of the abandoned hut.

Rodney eyed the newcomer and immediately stopped. "Oh, um…nothing."

"What the hell took you so long?"

"You really are not one for greetings, are you, Sheppard," Todd said with hints of sarcasm.

"I'm definitely not," Ronon warned, showing off his gun.

Todd just glared at him and stepped closer. "I am not the one who needed help so desperately."

"Now don't get ahead of yourself Todd. The new leader of the Hybrids, who is it?" Sheppard asked, wasting no more time.

Todd cocked his head, looking at Sheppard. "It's a human. Not a Wraith, not a Hybrid. And yet, not really a human either, now that I think about it."

Sheppard narrowed his eyes and stood up. "That just told me completely nothing."

"I've never said I know who he is. I met him once, only for a moment. And trust me just that brief look cost many lives of my brothers."

"Good," Ronon commented happily.

Todd growled at him and fight was not far away from happening.

"Alright big guys, just leave it, understood? What is it that you know, Todd?" Sheppard intruded before the two of them could strangle each other.

"Shortly after the death of Michael, we have successfully raided some of the Hybrid's hideouts. Without someone to lead them, they were an easy pray and for a moment it seemed we could dispose of them, once and for all. But then, _he_ approached them with the offer to lead them to victory against both the Wraith…and you. Don't think you were the only ones having a hard time fighting off his newly developed methods to rid of us. We had quite a few close calls ourselves. Distributing the Hoffan drug once again, was just the first step to make both of us suffer."

"Which will not work, thanks to us," Sheppard pointed out.

"You mean thanks to _the stalker_ ," Rodney smirked as he corrected the colonel.

"Yeah whatever you say McKay."

"I have heard the rumors," Todd said with curiosity in his voice. "Of the…mysterious help that you are getting."

"Oh, have you now?" Sheppard replied like he has no idea what Todd means.

"So far, you have avoided all the Hybrid's attempts at exterminating you. Well thought out attempts if you ask me. It is only natural to assume that someone must have warned you or provided superior help. Superior even to the great Atlanteans," Todd said mockingly.

"If this is going where I think it is, you are not getting any of it though. We barely know who that _help_ is anyway, so…can't really give you his cell phone number," Sheppard joked.

"Well be sure, Sheppard, that whoever it is, he is in as much trouble as you are right now. He might have made friends with you, but the Hybrids are not very pleased with their effort being constantly wasted."

"Can't say I pity them…and _he_ is _not_ our friend," Sheppard pointed out and contempt crossed his face for split of a second.

"Hm. He should be. Better that than him being against you."

"Never thought I'd say this but…he actually speaks reasonably. The stalker is not someone we should be trying to hunt down as the enemy," Rodney said, watching Sheppard as he rolled his eyes at him. "Well think whatever you want Colonel Idiot, but right now, we'd be so screwed if he wasn't there to save the day."

Sheppard raised his brows in question. "That's the point McKay, he _wasn't there_ to save the day. He was somewhere far…far… _far_ away. "

" _And_ still managed to save the day," McKay argued.

Sheppard wanted to argue back. He wanted to tell Rodney just what exactly he believes this mysterious stalker to be. A coward; just a god damn coward with no conscience no emotion no regret…nothing. Just a plain bastard; watching, pulling the strings from the shadows of his comfy place far away. He wanted to argue that so badly. But the confidence in his own believes was already betraying him.

' _Whatever it is you believe this person to be, I think you are wrong. There's more to…him than you can observe from afar. There's something bothering him too. Something painful.'_

Before he could make up his mind to talk back a clear sound of gunshots followed by darts flying over their heads made them all stand up and strain their ears to hear more.

" _Lorne?_ " Sheppard asked, wasting no time and getting out of the hut at once, closely followed by Ronon, Todd and the nervous scientist.

" _Sir, you should get back to the Jumper…right now! We see multiple targets coming up; this was just the welcoming party_!" Lorne shouted through the shooting.

"Copy that! Okay…I guess these are not your friends," he looked over his shoulder to spot Todd, who just glared back at him. "Right…let's move it!" he commanded and darted forward to the landed Jumper, just around the corner.

Lorne was not kidding. In fact, multiple did not really capture the amount of darts descending to attack them…or worse.

"Get inside!" Sheppard commanded as soon as he got to Lorne, ducking by the Jumper's entrance, covering their arrival. "You too," he pointed at Todd. With everyone safely inside, he also retreated back, shut the back door and seated himself in the pilot's seat.

"I'm picking up _five_ Hive ships in the orbit!" McKay informed him, sitting next to him, searching through the data. "One is actually intercepting the others," he added surprised.

"That would be _my_ Hive," Todd said, watching Sheppard curiously as he cloaked the Jumper and took off, flying through the atmosphere towards the Stargate.

As the Hives came into view, McKay turned to Todd. "Well ah…you're losing."

"McKay!"

"What? Oh…," he sighed as he saw what Sheppard was pointing at. Where the Gate orbited the planet, what seemed like a hundred of darts waited for their arrival, just hanging around, blocking the way. "Oh come on! What the hell?" Rodney panicked, switching into his we-are-gonna-die state.

"Rodney! Now would be the time to come up with a brilliant idea!" Sheppard tried to stay calm for the sake of everyone onboard, but seeing no way out of the situation himself, he was slowly losing his cool too.

"I'm thinking!" McKay retorted, raising his hand signaling everyone to stay silent.

"Hm," Todd hummed next to him, watching the screen with interest.

"Just…shut up, I almost got it!" Rodney berated him.

"I just thought you might want to know that the enemy Hives have just been destroyed," Todd replied, shrugging.

Both Sheppard and McKay looked at the screen, seeing that the only surviving Hive is Todd's. There was another ship though. And as Sheppard turned back the Jumper to get the view of what remained of the Hive fleet, they could all recognize it.

"That's an Ancient war ship," McKay whispered in awe.

Sheppard wasted no time and activated a radio channel. "This is Jumper One, identify yourself." Silence. "Who are you?" he asked impatiently, knowing all too well who this is.

"Look, he's helping us out, could you _please_ , just for once, be a little bit grateful instead of being a total idiot?" Rodney scolded him and this time, spoke into the radio himself. "Don't listen to him, you see we are ah…glad you helped with the Hives but maybe you could do something about the darts too…um…if you can," he said quickly trying to hide the awkwardness.

Even before he finished voicing out his request a swarm of drones were already on their way to intercept the immobile darts, shooting them down one by one.

"Thank…you?" he offered and shut the channel down. "Hm…way's clear," Rodney smiled happily, looking at Sheppard. "What?" he asked as he watched the colonel's pensive expression.

"Dial the Gate Rodney."

* * *

She watched the Gate shutting down, returning the area into hollow darkness. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the 'allied' Hive ship.

_Looks…junk…ish_ , she mused and smirked despite herself. Deciding that the Hive can manage on her own, she returned to the control chair, setting new coordinates and disappearing in a hyperspace window.

She took a deep breath and relaxed into the chair. She was right, once again. There is indeed a spy in the midst of Todd's Wraith. Otherwise the Hybrids would not know about the secret meeting that was supposed to occur here. Being able to get rid of both the Atlantean leaders and Todd in one shot…no wonder they came with such a battle force.

Since the mysterious leader of the Hybrids assumed command, the number of Wraith Hives and Cruisers in their disposal raised rapidly. Rather than destroying the enemy space ships, they focused on getting them almost untouched. It wasn't that much of a problem for them after all. They just infiltrated the Hive and killed all the Wraith onboard.

And so they have slowly built their own fleet capable of successfully intercepting all enemies. Wraith, Lanteans, Travelers…take your pick. They were getting ready for their little missionary work.

No. She didn't want to think about that. There was still time. And she needs it all to find that person behind all this. Yes, plenty of time.

In the meantime she was ready to call it a day and have a short nap before she arrives at the dealers market. Hopefully the components she needs to fix the damn ventilation will be there. Damn the Ancients and their technologies that can _only_ survive thousands of years.

And then she noticed. She was all too preoccupied with watching a god damn Gate opening and closing to notice this.

She stood up with alarm written all over her face, but as soon as she did so, she knew it was already too late.

And as the red stunner hit her, she could only hope the plenty of time she thought she had, had not just run out.

* * *


	6. Behind those eyes

When Rodney neared Sheppard's office he had to admit he couldn't still figure out what was worse. The angry, irritated…obsessed Sheppard that they had to deal with for weeks after the ZPM incident, or the now upgraded version of obsessed and mischievously, darkly happy and satisfied Sheppard he was about to confront. He wasn't quite sure how to handle either of those Sheppards. And to Einstein he prayed he won't have to learn, because after all this is settled, he must return to his usual, cheeky flyboy Kirk that he is. Or pretends to be.

"Rodney!" Sheppard invited him in, as he saw him coming slowly towards his office. "What do you have for me?"

Rodney smiled awkwardly and handed him his tablet. "I've managed to…well me and my team, but it was still mostly me…"

"McKay," Sheppard warned.

"Well I've completed the analysis of what seems to be a completely well repaired and maintained Ancient battle cruiser, quite similar to the likes of Aurora. Apart from some minor imperfections like a leaking ventilation system, it's in a great shape. Which is nothing short of a mystery considering the stalker _woman_ to be the only person onboard. It's hard to imagine a sole person maintaining and operating a ship like that."

"Yes Rodney, all very interesting. And considering the mysterious sole person…?"

"I was getting there!" Rodney scolded him for his impatience. "There was nothing much in her personal quarters, apart from the obvious things that are usually there, and is it just me or do I feel to be more of a stalker than her, just raiding her room like that? Anyway… we have found this," Rodney handed him a laptop he was holding onto until now.

Sheppard took it, surprised. "Whatever's on your laptop Rodney, you'll have to turn it on to show it to me."

McKay smirked triumphantly. "This…is not _my_ laptop."

Sheppard raised his brows at him in a confused way.

"It's _hers_ ," Rodney specified, annoyed by the colonel's silliness.

"Oh…but I would swear these are… _our_ laptops," Sheppard retorted with the same portion of annoyance.

"Yeah well don't ask me how she got it, she could have stolen it for all we know, besides it's not like she's not here for you to interrogate her about it. So go for it, because I'm not getting anything out of that laptop, trust me I tried, but as soon as I get past the password these ridiculous firewalls kick in and…"

"I get it Rodney. I will interrogate her about it then. Good job," he smiled happily, patted him on his shoulder and exited the office in what seemed like one swift motion.

He watched him leave and was pretty much sure by now. This version of Sheppard must go too, no matter what. For once, he missed the old Sheppard, with all his imperfections and secretiveness. Because if anything, it was the Sheppard he knew, Sheppard he could talk back to. Sheppard that didn't give him the creeps.

* * *

"Lorne," Sheppard greeted his second in command.

"Morning, sir."

"Any…troubles?" he asked as he peeked around the corner to spot the holding cell, in which the stalker was sitting on the ground Indian style, her head down, hands folded in front of her

"Not in here, sir. Since she's woken up she's just…sitting there like that, didn't say a single word. It's kinda…creepy," Lorne whispered also eyeing the prisoner behind them.

"I'll take it over for you here then."

With that said, he gave Lorne one last look and with his own look of confidence, he entered the prison.

When she didn't even bother to look up, he cleared his throat. But in the end, the only thing he could really say was: "Hi." _What the hell Sheppard,_ he scolded himself and waited for her reaction.

To his utmost surprise, she just stood up, also clearing her throat and repeating his earlier greeting. "Hi," she said with a slight hint of sarcasm.

He watched her curiously. There was something about her making him feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was that irritating calmness. She did just spend five hours in a prison cell, being held captive by people she doesn't even know. She should be a nerve wreck by now. But no, in fact she seemed more calm and comfortable than he did.

She wasn't all that…stunningly beautiful either to…distract him from his previous resolve. One could even call her average looking. Her dark brown hair braided in a sideways pigtail barely reaching her waistline, only a few strands that probably used to be a fringe were let loose. She was fairly tall, but not really thin. Something was telling him though, it's not a simple plumpness either…he'd rather guess 'muscular'.

For as much as he would like to spend the day with thinking up half offensive remarks on her looks, there was one thing, that not only caught his attention first, but also fascinated him…and creeped him out.

The eyes.

She stared at him, with those calm and daring eyes so perfectly green it almost rendered him speechless. Impossibly green…

"Well Colonel Sheppard," she spoke first, seeing the man in front of her being obviously intimidated by her, however that happened, losing his initial desire to speak. "Is 'hi' normally considered to be the one thing you tell a person you have just abducted? Must be a strange land from where you come from. Throwing me into jail, having doctors conduct their little research on if I am…a replicator or Ancient…or worse. Practically stealing my ship, certainly having McKay analyze its every inch, my quarters included. And then, after what, five hours? You just stop by to say _hi_ to me? Now that's just rude," she said in what seemed similar to a British accent, offended.

And so, the mysterious woman successfully took over the interrogation and turned the tables. Should he not be a soldier, he'd be standing there mouth agape, stunned. Her voice didn't waver even for a second, still maintaining that annoying calmness; but there was something even more unsettling behind it and it was _not_ the British sound of it.

"Who are you?" he asked, not as sternly as he would have wanted to.

"Hm, also not a question I'd expect," she commented instead of answering.

"Well what _would_ you expect?" _Ah that's it Sheppard, don't lose your cool._

"If anything…a simple _thank you_ would suffice. Not being followed by Ronon's precise stunner shot, followed by waking up in a prison cell and so on and so on. The so called Atlantis's hospitality is so far looking like a myth."

"You didn't really make the perfect first step either…lady," he retorted poorly.

She smiled, but it was a blank smile with no emotion behind it at all. "My first steps were me trying to help you. Yes, my manners might have not been as polite as they could be, but I'm still nowhere near _your_ level."

The more she talked, the more she started to make sense. And he ran out of arguments. It was so weird. She spoke to him in a way that immediately put him to the losing side of the argument. Not giving him a single chance. Like she knew exactly what to say to keep his mouth shut and get his mind fuzzing over her words.

And judging by that calm and confident expression on her face, she was well aware of the fact. "If you want to continue in this…interrogation," she actually chuckled at that, quite amused, "why don't we move it someplace…more comfortable. For both of us."

 _Ah, so she_ was _feeling uncomfortable_ , John mused almost triumphantly. Then again, she didn't let it show for even a second. Unlike him.

He tried to compose himself again so he could talk back to this woman properly. "Fine by me."

* * *

Five hours. That's just ridiculous! She could've been on her way to the Hybrid's hideout, almost finished with repairing the damn leaky air ventilation that just screamed 'I'm gonna stop working and you are gonna die of air deprivation'. But no! She just had to be stupid enough to let herself be caught with the cheapest trick possible.

As she walked towards the briefing room, with four heavily armed guards keeping her company, she decided to get away from here as soon as possible. It took her five hours to think up the proper strategy and damn her if she's gonna fail with it.

The door opened, revealing the most peculiar sight. At least to her it was. "Hi," she greeted mimicking Sheppard, who looked up from the laptop bewildered. "As seems to be the perfect greeting with you people. Doctor Mckay, Ronon, Colonel Lorne and…we've met," she exchanged a look with each man present, smirking at Sheppard at the end.

"You obviously know us," stated Sheppard. "So how about we skip _our_ introductions to _your_."

She raised one brow at him in question, but decided to answer this time. "The name is Jade."

He chuckled at that, earning three confused stares and…sinister one. _What,_ he wanted to say. _Is it just me, or is it plainly weird to name someone after…a special facial feature. Her parents must've been crazy._

He cleared his throat and decided to pry for more. "Jade…what?"

"Just Jade!" she said and for the first time, she has shown a clear emotion on her face. Actually two. Annoyance quickly followed by what appeared to be fear, like she's just said something she wasn't supposed to.

"So what do we call…"

"Jade. As simple as it is," she said quickly, interrupting him midsentence.

"Who are you, _Jade_?" He stressed her name in a childish manner, but this time wasn't able to get a reaction from her.

"I'm a Traveler."

Now that got everybody's attention. "As in a…traveler or… _the_ …Traveler," Rodney blurted out slowly.

"That's clever actually, you could be almost anything, but you chose the one option, that we'd consider…okay," Sheppard observed.

She glared back at him. "Go on, call Larrin and ask her if you don't believe me. I'm sure she will love to hear from you…especially you," she pierced Sheppard with a not so friendly stare.

Now it was Rodney's turn to laugh. "Yeah, that's right…Kirk."

Before the two could go ahead with their usual bickering, Ronon spoke. "I don't believe you."

 _Way to go Ronon_ , Sheppard complimented him.

She gave him _that_ look; that iron unbreakable look of confidence she's shown Sheppard before. "What do you think I am then?" she asked the big man, staring him right in the eyes. "A Wraith worshipper? A…Hybrid accomplice? An evil woman with plans to seize the galaxy and rule over it? Doesn't make much sense any of it, does it?"

"We have no proof you are not any of those things, even if you really are a Traveler," Lorne pointed out.

"Right, that's exactly my master plan, well done. I've been helping you this whole time, because I am in fact siding with those trying to get rid of you. I really suck at strategy, don't I?"

"Still doesn't explain how did you come into the possession of an Ancient battle ship and why are you the only person onboard," Rodney tried, voicing his own concern.

"I have found that ship and since I was able to fly it, I just took it. Then I have joined the Travelers and then I was given a solo mission," came the quick reply.

"Right and you were able to maintain the ship all on your own the whole time," Rodney said with doubt.

"Yes I was. I can show you just how skillfully I was planning to fix the broken ventilation system, if you'd like," she offered seriously.

"Oh…really?" Rodney asked, obviously interested.

That's it. She was able to read _him_ well enough to talk back at him with powerful arguments, but this is past just reading people. Ronon, Lorne…even McKay and his techno mumbo jumbo. She had the right answer for all of them. Just like a real stalker, she knew them. And Sheppard didn't like it.

"About that solo mission…care to elaborate on that?" Sheppard eyed her suspiciously, searching her face for any kind of emotion that would betray her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, contemplating the answer. "I could just say that our missions are none of your concern, but since you are kind of involved in it, I might as well tell you. I am an informant. This beautiful piece of technology that _Serenity_ indeed is allows me to travel fast and stealthy. Larrin saw an opportunity in that and in the fact I do have many contacts throughout the galaxy and thus made me hunt for information about Wraith movements, Hybrid movements, but also the less important stuff like…scanning the market for weapons and ship components we could use, for a good deal of course," she explained.

"That actually makes sense," Rodney admitted.

Sheppard frowned. "Wait a sec... _Serenity_?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "That's obviously the name of the Ancient ship."

"I figured that out, McKay, but… _Serenity_?" he repeated his question.

She watched him quizzically. "What about it?"

He just frowned even more but decided to drop the subject. No need to confuse her with Earthly sci-fi stuff. Wait, since when is he considering her state of being? Damn well he's not. Let's confuse her all the way to the point where she doesn't even know her name! If Jade is her real name at all.

McKay's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Sheppard?"

"Hm?" Just then he realized he must've spaced out for a moment, because everyone was watching him, amused. Except for her.

Calm as ever, she just sat there, watching something of a great importance on the floor, waiting. Once again showing no surprise at his behavior, like she knew what was going on in his head and decided to wait till he snaps out of it. Once again, she creeped him out. And once again, he found himself at loss for words, thoughts even.

Something about her wasn't right. Whether it was the name or her all too perfect life story. Sure. She just stumbled upon an Ancient ship. And she just happened to have an Ancient gene so she could fly it. And just by a coincidence, she also had the necessary technical knowledge to take care of it. And of course, she is some kind of a genius informant with knowledge not even they have.

Damn him if he's going to believe it that easily.

"So, _JJ_ , tell us more about that information hunt of yours," he broke the short silence and watched as her head snapped from the ground to him. Not that he enjoys repeating himself, but _once again_ , her reaction surprised him.

"What did you just call me?" she asked quietly.

He half expected her to be angered at his choice of a…fitting nickname he came up with. Instead, she only seemed to be caught off guard. Surprised. But for the first time, her eyes betrayed something more.

Fear.

It didn't last there for long though as her eyes clouded with the cold of no emotion. "Whatever," she spitted out. "As for my…information hunt, there's nothing to tell. I have no obligation to tell you where my info comes from, unless Larrin decides otherwise. But so far, that info was reliable enough to save you and many others, your petty little Wraith _friends_ as well, from…well you tell me. How many people would die because of the Hoffan plague? Or that hideous machine they sent you as a present? Oh wait, it could actually destroy the whole planet. My, that would be horrible wouldn't it!" she said, sarcasm echoing in every word.

"Your point?" Sheppard fired back.

"Based on all this I see no reason why should I be treated as a prisoner in here, held at a gunpoint on my every step and more importantly, to remain in this city for any longer than necessary. I'm losing a precious time that I could definitely use much more efficiently out there. And no, doctor McKay. I have no intention to share my ship with you for any reason and I have no intention to collaborate with you for the time being," she added, as she saw McKay preparing to speak his mind.

 _No way in hell lady, this conversation is not over yet_. "Where did you get one of our laptops?"

"Oh my, was it yours? I'm _so_ sorry, it was just lying there, so inviting just to be scavenged. If you need it back, be my guest."

"How did you hack our system?" he continued.

"Hm, good one. Maybe something on that particular laptop helped me with that, you should probably be more careful about where you forget stuff like that."

"How do you know our names?"

"Don't underestimate yourselves too much, I'm sure half of the galaxy know your names and how you look. You guys travel a lot, don't you?"

"And that super-evolved civilization that was able to create the cure for the plague? Why didn't you ask for the cure ages ago?"

"Good question. Why didn't I ask someone, who speaks some weird language I've never encountered before, to make a cure? Think again. But since I had that nice access to your database, finding someone with as weird a name as they had, was not that much of a problem. So I bet on the possibility. As for how I know about that civilization…well, maybe you don't travel as much as I thought."

"How did you know about Elizabeth and who the hell gave you the right to do what you did!" That's it. He screams. She stays calm.

"Oh I'm sorry, should I have woken one of the other replicators, flowing there in the vast of space? Because something was telling me they were not all that happy with how they ended up in there and wouldn't be all that keen to help you out. What exactly is your problem with this? As far as I know, _you_ sent them there, _her_ included. So I thought sending her off to die would be just fine, since you did it before. Only now she could die at peace, knowing her death had a meaning."

"I did not send her there!"

"No, you just _watched_ her go there, I forgot."

He gritted his teeth and pointed at her warningly. "You…don't you…"

"What? Did no one tell you? Well allow me. While you try to convince yourself that it's not your fault, you still see it as your fault despite your angered reactions. The thing is, while you drown yourself in self pity and guilt, you pull everyone else down to the bottom with you, because instead of voicing your emotions to someone, to your best buddies over here for instance, you keep it bottled up in you. And when it blows out, all hell breaks loose. And the circle continues. You face the new consequences and new wave of guilt and so on and so on. You wanna hear my opinion? You are a selfish bastard that slaps every friendly hand reaching out to help you away. You enjoy your little depressing distance and you let others suffer the sight. Now, tell me where I'm wrong, or give me the damn green light to get out of here," she finished her composed speech and stood up, obviously ready to leave.

He stared her right in the eyes, trying to see through them right inside this woman's mind and soul. His eyes held none of the anger that was there before. They were wide. Wide with fear. Because everything she's just said was true and that revealing truth still burned in his ears. All this time, that strange feeling he had at the bottom of his heart, when facing this woman, was fear. He feared her, because she knew. She saw.

His true self. The side of him hidden from everyone, even his family, even his closest friends.

Everyone in the room watched the strange argument like a game of tennis, until she smashed the ball into a corner he could never reach in time to deflect. Rodney knew she was right. Because he could tell what Sheppard's like and he is indeed like this. But of course he would know after almost six years spent in his team. What got Rodney's genius brain spinning was how could _she_ know.

As the stare down continued, no one dared to speak a single word.

When the thick atmosphere in the room reached the point where it could actually be cut, sliced and sold as a natural rarity, Jade broke the eye contact, closing her eyes in what seemed to be disappointment over the lack of response.

"I thought so," she whispered and gave him one last look, before turning around to exit the room. "I am expecting my ship to be ready to leave, with all my stuff back where it was, in half an hour," she said over her shoulder nonchalantly and left.

There, he finally saw it.

" _Something painful."_

Behind those eyes was a vast universe full of sadness.


	7. Friend or Foe

Sitting comfortably in the commander's chair on the bridge of Serenity, she silently watched Atlantis's personnel packing their stuff, ready to give her the much desired solitude. Her face betrayed nothing. It is what's she's good at after all. Acting, pretending, lying. Her mind however was a different story. Should someone know her, they'd know that when her face goes this blank, she is deeply in thought, her mind a whirlpool of thoughts or memories.

And right now, thinking back at what transpired barely an hour ago, she knew how big a mistake she has made. She knew, somewhere deep inside, that this unexpected encounter with the new Lanteans would not go well. Though she's made her point in the end, in some ways she has failed along the way.

She's a negotiator for Ancient's sake, she should know when to keep her mouth shut. But in the case of _the_ Colonel Sheppard, she just couldn't stay silent, god knows why.

He was anything but what everyone told her he is. When asking about McKay or Ronon, the answers were pretty much fitting. Annoying and smart, check. Silent and violent, check. But John Sheppard, he was really anything but cocky and flirtatious. Well, in a way he was. Just like she can put up any kind of image of herself, he is also not bad at pretending to be someone else. In his case though, he is not only lying to people around him, but to himself as well.

He's a mess. And her trained eye could see through him the second he entered her holding cell.

 _Some things just won't change_ , she mused as she decided to leave the past where it is and focus at the task at hand. Getting the hell out of here.

And judging by Rodney McKay's face as he appeared in her line of vision, she'll still have some tough time with this particular task.

"Heya…um…Jade," he greeted her awkwardly.

She looked at him, her head cocking to the side, it being the only sign that she's recognized his presence.

Rodney paused for a moment as if waiting for some kind of verbal reply that however wasn't coming. "Hm, okay. Can I ah…can I speak frankly to you?" he asked in the end.

Oh my, isn't today the end of time? _The_ Rodney McKay asking for a permission to speak frankly. Something's bad about to happen. "Why of course, Doctor McKay. I wouldn't have it any other way."

He smiled a little, as if catching the slight edge of sarcasm in her words. "I think you're an idiot."

Ah, here we go. That's the McKay she knows.

"Why so?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but…so far I truly admire you…in strictly…professional way. I mean…taking care of this whole ship by yourself and still have time to…travel around and help strange people along the way, now that's pretty something. Yes yes…quite impressive, however. Although your way of doing things and your obviously perfect strategy has been successful so far, there is one major fault in your reasoning."

"Is there, really," she asked half amused.

"As a matter of fact, yes. _You_ wanting to _continue_ on this…stalker..ish…solitary mission of fighting off the Hybrids and still helping us from afar, all by yourself. So I was thinking what could be the reason for that and do you know what I have concluded?" he asked, not expecting an answer. "You are either more stupid than I thought, or despite your obvious effort to help us, you in fact do have something against us to begin with, thus the strange need to keep yourself away. So please, indulge me, which one is it?" he ended his detailed observation with a satisfied smirk and eyed her expectantly.

Hm, she must give it to him. He does have some observation powers of his own. Not quite her level, but still, not mistaken in any way. She smiled mischievously. "Here I was, thinking that this little tiny fact would stay unnoticed after my…sudden and speedy exit."

Rodney's smirk widened. "Can't fool me."

"Obviously. As to answer you though, I must pick neither. I actually have nothing against either of you."

"Oh really? Because…well…you seemed sort of…angry with Sheppard moments ago."

Not bad. Not bad at all. "He wasn't all that best-friends-for-life with me either. But yes, you could say I am not his biggest fan."

"Ha, now that's new," he replied, surprised. "Usually women are..um.."

"All over him?" she finished for him.

He nodded. "Yes, actually. And still…even if you say that, you sent all those messages to _him_ particularly," he observed, again thinking ahead of her.

This man will never cease to amaze her. "What do I say…I may not fancy him, but I'm not stupid either. I know that within Atlantis _he_ has the necessary power to make all the decisions I needed him to make. He's the leader of the expedition after all. "

"Yet, he wasn't. The first time around."

She gives up. This McKay is indeed a handful. An annoyingly smart handful. "True. But mister Woolsey wasn't really among the people I'd know much about at the time, so I had to take the second best option. I apologize if I have offended you in there." But she still has the upper hand. She always will have.

"Hm. Accepted." He paused, contemplating his next move. "My point is…it would be foolish of you to just leave like this. You can seriously benefit from our collaboration. Just like we would the other way around. If we work together we can stop just deflecting the Hybrid's blows, we could actually start the offensive. Separately it is impossible, since we do not have the info you can get and you do not have the manpower and equipment that we can provide. I'm talking Hybrid's downfall here, think about it. Wouldn't that be great?"

 _It would. You have no idea how much_. "Yes."

"So…?"

She mentally berated herself for underestimating McKay's natural observing skills he probably doesn't even realize he has. He was right of course. Together, they could bring the Hybrids down much faster. But working together means working with _them_. And she wasn't sure she can do it. Not after today.

"I'm sorry but…what's wrong?" she asked, frowning, as she spotted McKay's sudden absent look, his face changing from expectant to shocked. Seeing everyone else in the room doing the very same thing, she concluded it must've been something said through the radio. "What's going on?"

McKay stared at the opposite wall for another moment, absorbing whatever was being said, then turned his horror stricken face to her. "We're screwed."

* * *

There's no way he's apologizing, that's for sure. This he decided with unbreakable resolve written all over his face as he mused about the strangely fearsome argument that took place earlier. Deciding they are in fact both at fault, he will call it even.

JJ. Why the hell did he came up with such a weird nickname in the first place?

_Yeah, right. Just Jade. That alone would sound just stupid. Right?_

The curious case of JJ is nowhere near its end. The more they found out about her, more questions started to arise. He has, of course, contacted Larrin the second he exited the briefing room. Half disappointed, he found her story being trustful. She is indeed a Traveler. Larrin has this…way to break the information to you, indeed.

' _I don't know why are you asking, but yes, Jade has joined us half a year ago. She's my good friend as well, so if I hear you've been rude to her, I'm going to pay you an…unpleasant visit. If you know what I mean.'_

Maybe he should apologize after all.

Why maybe _she_ should apologize first. She had no right to judge him, to even start to pretend she knows him so god damn well to say all those…true…things. Was it really that easy? Five minutes? Is it all that it takes to see through his well constructed (or so he thought) mask? The lie that keeps him going. Lie that deceives people around him into believing he just doesn't give a damn sometimes. And he doesn't give a damn that he doesn't give a damn. Nah…it has become so complicated over the years he no longer understood it himself.

So how the hell could she.

The sound of gunfire snapped him out of his thoughts, his hand automatically reaching for his gun that wasn't there, since he sat in his office, seemingly safe.

So instead, he reached for his earpiece, standing up, entering the Gate room full of equally alerted people. "What is going on in there?"

* * *

She rolled her eyes at his usual behavior. With McKay, one never knows if he's in danger, or someone just drank the last coffee in the cafeteria. In both cases, you'd get the same reaction.

"Calm down and tell me what's going on?"

He just desperately shook his head. "Right…just when I was starting to believe you in fact have some kind of prediction powers. Haven't seen _that_ coming, have you?"

And here comes the panicky tone.

"What?" she demanded to know.

"There are Hybrids in the city," answered one of the Atlantis's staff members near her. "It's an attack," he added.

"See? I'm telling you, we're screwed! Heeeey, what the…?" he blurted out as she swiftly reached for his ear, stealing his earpiece for herself.

"Sheppard, stop wasting time with spreading useless information and start locking up the city!" she almost shouted through the radio and started working on a nearby console herself.

"Hey there, you know from here it sounded like _you_ are telling _me_ what to do! And here I thought you always know about stuff like this before it actually happens!" came an irritated reply.

She would very much enjoy spending the next hour arguing with the damn stubborn man, but she knew better. "See, maybe if I wasn't stalled by certain _someone_ , I actually would!" Or not. "Forget it and listen! Put the city into a lockdown, all civilian personnel needs to be escorted to the mess hall. Its location is handy and it can only be accessed from one direction with transporters shut down. Put bunch of guards in there…or Ronon, and have all the military staff start cleaning up the city."

"Look there, lady…"

"You can either do as I say, or you can humor me later, as you start cleaning up the dead bodies of defenseless people scattered all over the city! You choose!"

"Dammit," she heard him say as the channel closed for the moment.

"It doesn't make any sense! They had to come with a ship, there's no damn ship in here! We should have detected they arrival, we should've known the second they appeared in the city, we should…"

"McKay!" she turned back to the crazy scientist, talking all to himself.

He stopped, hearing his name being said in this urgent manner always seems to work its magic. "Yes?"

"I need my laptop, the one I have st…borrowed," she corrected herself hastily.

McKay looked around as if searching for it here. "Um…"

"Where is it?"

He suddenly remembered, his face going blank. "It's a…it's in Sheppard's office."

She closed her eyes. _Stay calm, stay calm, stay…_ "I said I want all my stuff back in here," she said through gritted teeth, trying to sound casual.

" Wh…you also said we could keep the thing if we want to!" he pointed out.

"I was obviously joking!"

"Yes, obviously!"

"Okay, alright," she composed herself once again, thinking through her options. "I need _you_ , all of you to stay right here. The ship is locked down, if there are Hybrids onboard, they won't be able to move around easily and they certainly won't access the bridge," she instructed and grabbing a life signs detector and a pair of gun holsters from under the commander's chair, she made her way to one another console.

"And where are you going?" Rodney asked.

"To get my laptop," she explained as if telling a child. With that being said, she activated the beam and disappeared from the bridge.

* * *

"Dammit!" Damn the Hybrids, damn him and damn her. "Lorne, get your guys and Franklin's team and secure the civilian personnel in the mess hall, go!"

"Yes sir," he confirmed the order and was already running away, on his way to execute it.

"Banks! Get a gun, take Ronon and secure the mess hall with anyone you meet along the way."

"On it, sir."

He nodded and looked around as the civilian staff was already being led out to safety. "I need all the military personnel to team up and start roaming the city, cleaning it up!" he spoke into the radio.

' _Kay, what now_. He took a better hold of his P-90 he grabbed earlier in the nearby armory and went down the stairs to duck behind the Gate, having a good view of all the entrances from there.

In a few seconds, the sounds of gunfire reached his ears again, coming from all around. The first to emerge from the entrance on the right was Captain Miles, whose team is supposed to be on Gateroom guard duty, spotting Sheppard by the Gate he cautiously moved to duck next to him.

"Sir," he greeted.

"What's the status, Captain?"

"Lot of them are appearing around transporters so we are only slowly falling back in here. It's kindda…freaky, sir."

"They can look scary, yes," Sheppard admitted.

"It's not that. They just…keep on standing up after being shot down and…it's like a freaky zombie showdown."

Sheppard frowned at that, but before he could comment on it, he noticed the left corridor being lifeless and decided to investigate on it.

"Wait in here," he commanded and Miles nodded in understanding.

He moved carefully through the corridor. Its emptiness unnerved him. Most of the personnel left through the right one, choosing the shortest way to the mess hall and so this one became silent. All too much.

His mind was focused, clear, all his problems forgotten, driven only by instinct. As he moved further away from the gateroom the sounds of gunfire faded out and the hallway fell real silent.

A loud thud from behind startled him. He spun around, his P-90 searching for its target. More of the unnerving sounds emerged from the locked up storage room as he moved closer.

"Come out," he whispered, willing the intruder to show up.

The door chimed as the intruder wanted to open it, but failed.

John flinched as something hit the door, probably in an attempt to break it open. He stepped a little closer, but immediately backed off as the door swooshed open only to reveal JJ.

"Damn door," she cursed looking up, spotting Sheppard. "Hey. Would you…put the gun down?"

He sighed in relieve, put his gun down and stared angrily at her. "The hell you were doing in there?"

She looked back in the storage room, then turned to Sheppard again. "I must have…miscalculated the beam a little. Where's the Gate room?"

"All the way down this hall."

"Ah. I miscalculated a lot then." Then suddenly without a single warning, she raised her own gun, shooting twice at something behind Sheppard.

''What the…," he spun around, seeing two Hybrids hitting the floor, their chest burning where the red light hit them.

"Point your gun at them, not me," she teased him, as she lowered her gun and looked around for any other sign of danger.

"Funny…wait a sec, is that Ronon's gun?" he suddenly asked.

She raised her eyebrows and gave her gun a thoughtful look. "No," she stated in the end.

"No way, see I recognize that gun when I see it, that's Ronon's blaster!" Sheppard pointed accusingly at her, not giving up his curiosity.

"No, it's not," she repeated patiently. "Have you ever tried taking that thing from him?"

"Actually, yes."

"How did that go for you?"

He remembered that one time, he actually planned to steal the Satedan's blaster and make lots of fun of him later about it. Sometimes, plans do NOT come together, especially when a certain Satedan comes looking for his gun, with a sinister look on his face and a wooden fighting stick in his hand.

"Not that good."

"Thought so," she smirked and still alerted of her surroundings, she slowly made her way to where Sheppard located the Gateroom before. "It's not Ronon's blaster, but it's the same thing. I got two of these actually," she said, pointing to another blaster resting in her left-side holster.

"You're kidding right? People would kill for these!"

She stopped suddenly and looked back at him, her face unreadable. "Exactly." Sheppard glared at her, his face betraying him as his eyes widened slightly at her response. They stared at each other for a moment, until she rolled her eyes and her emotionless face broke into yet another smirk. "You are such a funny man," she commented on in, bemused.

" _Colonel Sheppard?"_

"Lorne? What's up?"

" _These guys keep coming back to life, I don't understand! I've emptied the whole round on one and in a few minutes he was as good as new!"_

"How's that…hold on," he came to a halt and spun around just in time to intercept the two Hybrids, that were taken down by JJ earlier. They crumbled to the floor again, unmoving. "That's so not normal."

" _Sir?"_

"Still here, we're having the same problem, I don't see how…," two blaster shots interrupted him and he looked up to spot JJ standing over the two bodies. "What…why did you do that!" He asked, watching the blood flow from the heads of their assailants, now mutilated, beyond recognition.

"Major Lorne? Shoot them in the head," she has commanded over the radio, her voice void of emotion once again.

" _Who's that?"_

She closed her eyes, as if trying to compose herself. Sheppard almost flinched as she looked up at him, her face the portrait of seriousness he has never seen there before.

"Do as she says," he said, still watching her intently.

" _Yes sir."_

He watched her every move, as she turned back to the now dead Hybrids. "So…is this some sort of Resident evil joke? Where Hybrids stand for Zombies now?"

She took a deep breath, looking back at Sheppard. "What's a Zombie?"

"Well…a dead…person, coming back to life all over again when killed. Unless blown up into bits and pieces…or shot in the head," he explained.

She nodded thoughtfully. "That indeed seems to fit the nature of our current problem."

He frowned at that. " _Our_ problem? As far as I know, there's no _us_ , no _our_ , no…"

"There is _now_."

With all her powers of prediction, as McKay would put it, she did not see this coming. It was way too early. He couldn't have…no. No.

"Doctor McKay?"

" _Yes?"_

"It seems we will be cooperating after all."

She has sworn to herself, she will not get involved with them. It was way too dangerous. Way too complicated. But as it turns out, she will have to give up that promise. Or they are all as good as dead anyway.

Time has just run out.

* * *

_As the wind picked up, the piece of paper slid from between his fingers and took off, fluttering away._

_He walked back to the Gateroom, stepping over the dead bodies scattered around. He didn't look. He couldn't see. Not again. Their faces would haunt him even without the constant reminder._

_He came all the way to the dialing console and his hand hovered over the symbols._

_Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do?_

_It always annoyed him. That no matter what the question was, she would find the right answer. In the end, she was always right. And he hated that. He hated her._

_He would give anything to have her back now. To answer all those questions he could never face himself._

_"I'll be back," echoed in his mind. The words, like a mantra to him._

_He snapped out of it and like he suddenly knew what to do, he started dialing an address._

_"You are dead, JJ. Dead do not come back," he whispered to himself. "Please don't come back."_


	8. Green eyes make me blue

"You ah…settling in?" a voice spoke from the open door.

She didn't turn to meet the visitor, just continued to watch the scenery outside her window. "I have to leave it to the Ancients. They've got style."

"They certainly knew how to live, yeah…"

An uncomfortable silence settled in. Sheppard stood awkwardly at the door, finding himself, yet again, at loss for words. Why did he come here, again? Why is his memory failing him, when facing this woman?

She spun around, as if sensing his dilemma. "Did you want to…say something?" she offered.

Surprised, he found himself looking away from her piercing look. "Yeah," he forced himself to look up again, meeting her eyes, still as unreadable as ever. "Since we are…going to work together on…this," he sighed. "Look, why don't we just forget all about our…great first impressions and start…anew," he suggested, trying to sound confident. And failing.

She chuckled. "Interesting. You skipped the whole apologizing part and moved right onto the 'let's forget all about it' part," she said, amused with his strategy.

"Listen, I just…"

"That's fine by me. Apologies are still just words. I couldn't care less for them."

He nodded, understanding. "So…"

"What's with that ridiculous decor? I noticed the staff putting up some weird trinkets all around the city, what's that about?" she explained, when he raised his brows in question.

"Ah that…that's Christmas. Do you know what…"

"Yes. I remember McKay talking about it yesterday…for an hour or so. That man is a genius, really. I imagine it's the only reason why you haven't left him stranded on some distant planet with no Stargate."

"Your first day with Mr. Annoying went well then?" he asked jokingly.

"I guess. He seemed most excited that he can have the whole ship for himself for the time being."

"It's probably the best Christmas gift he got in years. Let's be happy for him."

She smiled and nodded, turning away from Sheppard to once again watch the ocean.

"So, tell me Sheppard, how hard are you really trying to be…polite with me right now?" she asked, her smile widening.

Sheppard didn't even bother being surprised this time. "Really hard actually. But since you seem to have it all figured out already, I don't need to say any more, right?"

"Once again, words are just words. You don't have to pretend to be suddenly all friendly with me. We both know better," she looked back at him, her face void of emotion again.

He hates that face. "You're saying that no matter what I say, you will not give a damn about it? Good. Listen then," he said, stepping forward, his voice serious. "I'm not buying it. Any of it. You can fool McKay, Lorne, Ronon even…but not me. I don't know who you are, but I know you are not who you say you are."

She gave him her almost trademark empty smile. "Let's pretend for a second, that what you say is true. What if I am not Jade, the Traveler? What's it to you?"

"I hate people that are lying to me. Especially when it's so obvious," he glared at her, but she met the glare with one of her own.

"I hate people that lie to themselves."

He knew arguing with her was pointless. But if she wants to play mysterious, he will play the overly curious.

"Now that we are clear about…hating each other, there's something you should know. I am not your enemy. Despite your obvious believe. But be my guest. I will indulge you in your own stupidity. I will help you bring the Hybrids down and when that happens, I 'm gonna take my stuff and leave. You'll never hear from me again. How's that?"

He could tell she was not kidding. The response still startled him though and for some reason, he was not satisfied with it at all. But that's what he wanted, to get rid of her…right?

His silent inner conflict of course didn't go unnoticed. But she said nothing about it. "It's settled then. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go check how's McKay enjoying his Christmas present," she announced and walked past him, leaving the room.

* * *

_Silent night, holy night_ , she hummed to the melody spreading through the Gateroom, where the joyful Atlantis's Christmas party was taking place. She was sitting by the window up the stairs facing the Gate and she was doing what she can do best. She observed.

All of this was one huge theatre, she concluded. It was natural to assume that. No sane people would be celebrating, singing and getting drunk while there's an army of "Zombie" hybrids out there trying their best to kill them.

No. Their goal was not to kill. Not anymore.

And what were these people doing? Laughing and joking and drinking, like the attack four days ago didn't happen at all. This was all an act, a cover up. A pathetic attempt to raise morale by numbing fear and anxiety with fake smiles, ludicrous costumes and alcohol.

It was everywhere. She hated that smell.

Any other time, she would probably enjoy the holiday customs, but being the rational one, it seemed useless to even try. Pretending she's all happy and in the mood for celebration…nah, there are more than enough people in this room doing just that, so she'll leave it to them.

"I would like to say a few words."

Ah, here it comes. The great leader's speech.

"Thanks to the…IOA initiative back home, we have been provided with a lovely Christmas décor and this very real Christmas tree you guys have spent the whole day decorating. Great job," he said with tiny little bits of sarcasm, earning a few chuckles, as everyone eyed the tree behind the Stargate.

The scientists did a number on it. Since the IOA forgot to send proper tree decorations, they've volunteered to improvise with what's available.

The sight of it almost made her smile too. Was that someone's underwear cut to look like a snowflake? She doesn't wanna know.

"Thanks to our brilliant kitchen staff, there's plenty of delicious food and sweets for you to eat for the next week or so. Unless McKay gets his hands on it, cuz if he does it'll be gone by midnight," he smirked towards the scientist, currently occupied with…eating. "Too late, huh? Anyway, just enjoy yourselves and don't forget to place the presents I'm sure you've spent days putting together under the tree. Don't forget to name them or I am officially taking all the nameless ones for myself in the morning!" he warned jokingly. "Dismissed," he waved everyone off nonchalantly and moved to confront McKay. Probably about the food currently disappearing from around him.

 _Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace_ , she sang silently, watching the people engaging in whatever they've been doing before Sheppard interrupted them.

"Hello," someone spoke and a woman appeared in front of her.

 _Teyla_.

She smiled at her. "We haven't met yet I believe. I'm Teyla."

She returned the smile somewhat hesitantly. "Jade. You must be the Athosian leader. I've heard about you."

"Ah. Have your people ever visited Athos before? Trading with us maybe?" she asked curiously.

"My people?"

"Yes, from your home world?"

"No, I don't think so. I have met many Athosians while I was traveling though. Very polite and kind people."

Teyla smiled, but there was something behind that smile, that left JJ alerted. "I am sure your people are also nice."

"No they are not," she spoke frankly, gaining Teyla's attention. "The planet I come from is immersed in constant war conflicts, it's led by greedy guys obsessed with money, possession and social status, on one side, there are people living in comfort and prosperity, on the other you'll find those with no home, no food, starving, suffering. My world is not one you would like to live in, believe me."

Teyla seemed surprised at that. "But surely…they are not all bad people."

"No. But sometimes, the good ones are hard to find."

"Have you been away for a long time? Don't you miss home?"

Oh yes. Teyla was definitely onto something. "I haven't been there for years. And I won't be returning anytime soon. There's nothing in there I miss."

"Don't you have a family there?"

"No."

"Friends?"

"No."

Teyla sighed, obviously taken aback. This little, subtle, interrogation of hers will not really work on her. She would bet all she has, not that she's got much of anything, that Sheppard is behind the Athosian warrior's sudden curiosity.

"You must feel lonely then," Teyla said sadly, but smiled. "It's a good thing you've decided to stay. You may befriend someone here, I know I did. Also, these…Christmas seem to be a holiday one should spend with family and loved ones, friends. Not alone."

Although she would never admit it openly, her honest words got to her. Right through her well constructed lie.

"Well as much as I appreciate you saying that, I didn't come here to make friends. I came here so we can destroy the Hybrids once and for all. I have no other purpose here. I don't care for this…Christmas of theirs at all. If they want to distract themselves with it and pretend for a single day, that their life is in fact not in mortal danger, fine. I am not playing along though."

"Certainly you don't mean that, why would you…"

"You want to know why I have no friends?" JJ asked all of a sudden. "Because they're dead. The Hybrids got them all. So forgive me if I don't feel like celebrating some stupid holidays, knowing what I do. It was nice meeting you," she added and headed off for the stairs, leaving the startled and speechless leader alone.

She needed to get away from these people. Away from the scrutinizing eyes of the kind hearted Athosian, away from the annoying, but very insightful genius McKay, away from the silent observer Ronon and especially away from…

"Here you are," Sheppard said casually, extending a hand holding a glass of champagne towards her. "Let's have a…friendly Christmas toast celebrating our alliance."

She took the glass and held it up. "On Christmas," she said sarcastically without restraint and put the full glass on the nearby stand.

Sheppard watched that quizzically. "You know, the purpose of a toast is to drink that in the end."

"I don't drink," she stated sternly.

"It's just a toast," he reasoned with her, picked the glass and offered it to her again. "One could easily assume you don't want to toast with me…as a sign of good will and friendship in our future collaboration."

Oh he was having so much fun. That much was obvious. She stared at him for a moment, then took the glass and drank it all in one shot. "Merry Merry Christmas," she chanted and walked off.

Sheppard smirked in victory and turned around, only to meet with a disapproving look of a certain female warrior.

"What is your problem with her, John. Really," Teyla asked, truly interested in the answer.

His smile faded. "No problem."

"Of course," she replied, not believing it for a second, and turned away to leave.

"Wait, did you…find something out by any chance?" he asked, stopping her.

She gave him a bemused smile and patted him on a shoulder. "I found out a lot and do you know how? I asked, using words. You should also try it sometimes."

His eyes widened from shock, realizing he has just been deflected with a joke…coming from the usually serious Teyla. He watched her retreating form and couldn't help but think about what she found out.

Rodney stood nearby, watching the whole scene that got almost unnoticed by anyone else. He would indeed like to hear the answer to Teyla's question as well. Spending one whole day with the mysterious Jade the Stalker, he noticed it wasn't just Sheppard; she was generally not friendly with anyone. Sure, she dropped a joke here and then, engaged in a polite conversation with a curious scientist, but that was it. She wasn't really Kavanaugh's level of unfriendliness, but she was certainly not making any effort in trying to make friends with them either.

Their goals were the same and yet, she was still keeping her distance, even after agreeing to work together. The worst part of this was Sheppard, who despite his previous statements, was very much interested in the truth behind her every lie. But the more he tried to cross that distance, the more distance she put in between them.

He didn't like where this was going. He could only hope Sheppard will snap out of it soon, because if he won't, he might do something he's going to regret later. Again.

* * *

She collapsed next to the toilet, resting her head on the cold wall, her eyes closed. She shouldn't have that dinner. No, in fact, she shouldn't have that glass of whatever it was that made her sick the second it landed in her stomach.

She hated that smell. And it was not the vomit, it was the alcohol.

Picking herself up from the floor, she flushed the toilet and slowly made her way to the bed. She didn't bother discarding her clothes and simply snuck under the sheets, too tired to care for anything.

How was she going to survive this was a theory beyond her best assumptions.

And as she heard the knock on the door, she knew her personal hell is only about to begin.

' _If it's you Sheppard, I'm going to kick your ass all the way back to that party.'_

She got up and moving her hand over the crystals, she opened the door, to reveal Colonel Lorne. She can't deny she wasn't at least a little bit disappointed; the thought of inflicting if only a little bit of harm on the most annoying flyboy Colonel, was at this time quite satisfying.

"Oh," was all Lorne came up with. "I must've woken you up, I'm sorry," he added later apologetically.

"You didn't, really," she assured him. "I was about to call it a night though, yes."

"Well then I should probably leave you to it," he stated and turned to leave.

She was going to let him go just like that. It's not like her to stop people from doing something they've decided to do on their own. "No, that's alright. Did you need something?" So much for that plan.

He stopped and faced her again. "Ah not really. I mean yes. Yes."

She raised her brows, waiting for him to speak his mind. Is he drunk? Not that there's a single sober person on this base right now…except for her.

"I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." Definitely drunk. "Well you're new here and I'm not sure if you get the whole concept of this and…"

"I do, McKay made sure of that."

"Oh…right," he smiled. "You probably don't know anyone in here that well to…give presents to them, probably didn't even have the time to think about that considering the…situation and all."

Maybe not _tha_ t drunk yet.

"Yes, well…I don't expect any presents either, so…"

He chuckled at that. "That's just too bad," he said, revealing what he was holding the whole time in his right hand. A square shaped plate of some sort wrapped in a simple blue paper.

' _A painting.'_

"I assumed you won't be there tomorrow morning, when all the half sober and suffering people will attack the presents under that tree, so I decided to bring it over to you directly," he explained himself.

She watched the present with what could be considered a Sheppard's second Christmas present today - shock. Crystal clear, right there, on her face. She quickly composed herself and looked up to meet the gray eyes of the Colonel.

"Why give me a present?" she asked, rationality once again taking over.

His smile widened. "There doesn't need to be a reason to give someone a present on Christmas."

"Why not give it to someone you actually know?"

"I am giving presents to the people I know and I am giving a present to you. I'm not the one with mysterious powers of prediction here." He must've heard that from McKay…that joke is getting old. "So, the one who will have to figure it out, is probably going to have to be you. Just know that not accepting a Christmas present is…well it's not really rude but…just, just take it, alright?" he blurted out, handing the present over.

She hesitated for a moment, but took it in the end. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank Santa."

She did NOT just laugh at that. Absolutely not.

"No opening till morning," he added and with a smile turned around and left.

 _No opening till ever_ , she thought as she watched him go, her own smile fading. This was so NOT good.

As she sat on the bed, laying the blue present next to her absentmindedly, she thought that maybe, just maybe McKay was right. Again. Maybe her strategy was stupid since the very beginning. And the more she will pursue to distance herself, the more they will try to pull her closer. The more she will want to be closer. Again.

A single tear made its way across her cheek but she wiped it away quickly. Eyeing a black iron box sitting lonely on her bedside table, she decided to make some strategy changes.

* * *

Walking right into the crowded mess hall in the morning, she spotted the image Colonel Lorne was talking about yesterday night. Half sober and suffering people, carrying their Christmas presents and fighting over the stand with hot coffee.

 _Alcohol's a bitch_ , she smirked to herself and filled her cup with tea, walking further into the room, searching for a place to settle down.

"Morning, JJ," came a greeting, from beside her, where Sheppard and the gang were currently occupied with unwrapping presents. "Why don't you join us with breakfast?" he offered, not really expecting her to accept.

 _Surprise surprise Sheppard_. "Gladly," she replied with a smile, a real smile and sat down next to Teyla.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes at her, but said no more and returned back to his stack of presents.

She watched him, Ronon and McKay get into a heated argument about who has more and better presents and turning to Teyla she asked: "Is this also one of the Christmas customs? To brag about each other's presents in the morning?"

Teyla shrugged. "I do not believe so, but they indeed seem to be quite competitive about it."

"Here I was, thinking Christmas is about the spirit, not the presents."

"Of course Christmas is about presents!" McKay announced and smirked at her satisfyingly. "Presents are the best part and I have to say I definitely beat you this time, Sheppard!"

The said Colonel looked up from his newly unwrapped Budweiser six-pack and frowned. "Yeah right, you got books…ten of them. How's that any better than me?"

"I like books!" Rodney snapped back. "You are either getting beer or socks, how's _that_ any better!"

"I agreed to work with children," JJ proclaimed, honestly amused with their behavior. "How's that for a Christmas present?"

"Better working with the two of them, rather than the all of them on M7G-677," Lorne commented as he joined them with a cup of eggnog.

"Is that the planet with all the kids?" she asked.

"Ah, so you know."

"I certainly remember my visit there. They thought I was twenty. Nice kids," she smiled happily. "So what's with the…socks and books?"

"It's the most common Christmas present," Lorne explained.

"Ah, so if you don't know what to give to a person, thus showing just how well you know him, you give them the most universal…"

"Socks and books," he finished for her and nodded.

McKay rolled his eyes. "So what did _yo_ u get, hm?"

"A lot of interesting stuff, oh and this," he reached for something in his pocket, pulling out a DVD box.

"Whoa there wait a sec, isn't that supposed to be my present?" Sheppard immediately grabbed for it, but Lorne only backed off out of reach.

"It says Lorne, right here," he argued defensively.

"That's the golden DVD edition of Johnny Cash's Best of! It was sold like the second day after they released it…a month ago!" Sheppard explained in awe. "Who gave that to _you_?"

"What's wrong with that, I like country," he said narrowing his eyes at his CO.

"And someone knew and got it for you. Nice. See, that's the perfect gift," JJ said approvingly.

"Ha ha, well it's not like you got any presents at all, so…ouch!"

"Rodney!" Teyla scolded him, hitting his leg under the table.

"As it turns out good Doctor McKay, I did get a present," she smirked at him.

"What?" McKay asked in shock.

"She did," Lorne confirmed.

"Why would someone give you…wait, how do _you_ know she got a present?" he suddenly realized and pierced Lorne with an accusing stare.

The Colonel raised his hands in defense. "Mum's the word."

She rolled her eyes at McKay's antics and continued to watch the men present argue over the gifts they received. She noticed Teyla giving her a sympathetic smile and found herself returning it.

"Children," she murmured and stood up to leave. She caught Sheppard watching her and knew immediately, that her slight change in behavior did not go unnoticed by both the Atlantis's and Athosian leader.

 _One more mystery for you to solve_ , _Johnny boy_ , she mused to herself and left the table full of adults turned to kids. She'll let them play, for tomorrow…tomorrow will get dark.

And she needs to be ready.

* * *

There, next to the mysterious box, stood a simple oil painting of a woman with a sad smile and piercing green eyes.


	9. The truth behind her every lie

_Sheppard watched the screen, his face a pure shock. He didn't even notice the tears welling up in his eyes until they made it out, sliding quietly down his cheeks. And he couldn't care less. He couldn't watch any more of this._

_Because for the first time in a while everything was starting to make sense. But this was not what he wanted. This was not what he was looking for. This was…_

_He wished he could start this god damned day over again. Maybe then it wouldn't have to come to this…_

* * *

**04:42 AM**

To her slight surprise she was the only person in the mess hall. Yes, it was five in the morning, but she was expecting at least a few hard-working scientists all excited and ready to dig into some new scientific mystery to be here for a quick sip of coffee.

She was enjoying her solitary cup of fruit tea while thinking about her next step. Now, when limited with the stereotyped life routine of this base, she can't just take off and act spontaneously as she's gotten used to in these few months.

This was the reason why she wanted to stay away in the first place. She knew how things are complicated around here with all the funny protocols and rules.

She dismissed these thoughts; there's no reason to wallow in the past. She needs to start working with what she has now. And although it comes with quite a sacrifice from her part, somehow she decided it'll be for the best.

She would of course never say this to the scientist, whose ego has reached far beyond the point where the universe has spread so far, but he was right. In everything he said, thought or simply guessed.

Together, they can do it.

"Hm, early bird, aren't we?"

Speaking of the devil. "I have spent months on a space ship, Doctor McKay. Nights and days are still a little foreign for me."

He nodded and sat opposite to her with a tablet and a cup of coffee. "I was just speaking with Jennif…I mean Doctor Keller and it seems you were ah…right…again," he said, handing the tablet over to her.

She took it curiously. "What am I looking at?"

"You said that the Hybrids have been upgraded with what Sheppard called a…T-virus," Rodney started explaining, rolling his eyes remembering the Colonel's jokes.

"I looked it up…the Resident Evil and all. Eventually, it is quite similar."

"Oh don't you start too," Rodney immediately scolded her. "It's a virus made by perfecting Michael's methods of gene mutation. According to Keller, it was created using the natural Wraith ability to heal as a base, mutating it into a virus that takes over the victim's brain activity."

"So when you die, it resets the brain functions and sends commands to regenerate the taken damage with the maximized ability to do so, basically resurrecting that person," she finished for him.

"Ah…yes, yes. You obviously know what you're talking about," he said, watching her curiously.

"If I wouldn't know about this, you would still be out there trying to shoot the Hybrids attacking the city. Shooting them in the head, where their brain is obviously, is the only way to stop the virus from taking over."

"You could've mentioned that earlier!" he argued.

"I had no idea they have already finished making it this far. I've heard…chatter and stuff, but I thought it will take more time to finish and…"

He stopped her. "Wait wait wait…what do you mean… _this far_? Is it not…done?"

She dropped her gaze. "No, I'm afraid it's not. I will explain later to the all of you." Sliding the tablet back to McKay, she got up taking her empty cup. "See you later," she said leaving the table, passing by a few newcomers that finally started to fill the room.

**08:16 AM**

"Is he coming today?" McKay asked no one in particular, pacing at the back of the conference room.

Ronon eyed him, probably more annoyed by his pacing than the fact Sheppard was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. Lorne just sighed and continued to read something on his laptop.

Jade seemed unfazed by the all of it, but leisurely mumbled: "He'll be here any moment now."

"He was supposed to be here any moment half an hour ago!" McKay exaggerated and stopped his pacing. "He could just say that he'll be late. That way, I could've finished my report on the ancient debris Captain Miles brought back two days ago, thinking how useful it all will be!"

"Of course McKay and I could've still be asleep," Lorne replied, finally getting annoyed by the scientist.

"I'm just saying that…"

"Sorry I'm late," Sheppard said, speedily walking through the door and seating himself at the head of the table. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Jade said hastily, knowing McKay would _love_ to spend the next hour berating the Colonel about being late.

"Good. Now…according to our sources, your intel seems to be…quite correct. Word has it, that X5S-586 has a Hybrid hideout of some sort in there."

"X5S? What's with the X?" McKay asked confused.

" _That_ is the new official designation of a planet without a Stargate on it. The IOA felt it's vital in our reports, to make difference between those," Sheppard explained, obviously irritated by the IOA initiative.

"Ahuh," Ronon hummed, also confused.

"Never mind," Sheppard rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't really necessary to check on that intel, I told you the base is in there," Jade reasoned and watched the Colonel give her a skeptical look.

"And when _you_ say it's there…"

"It _is_ …there," she interrupted him and continued. "The location is in favor for what they needed to conceal. It's a planet on the outer rim of the galaxy, no Stargate, difficult to access. Certainly not a good place to establish a base of the operation, but a hidden lab conducting part of their research into the new strain of mutating virus _and_ applying it in there as well, that's a win."

"I thought the virus is finished, so what's there to work on now?" Sheppard asked, still not looking away from her.

"I've never said that it's finished. Because it's not," she corrected him. "Eventually, the regenerative…Zombie kind of power is just a part of its true purpose."

"Which is?" Lorne asked.

"The virus in its final form is supposed to be a virus capable of taking over the mind of a human, Wraith…whatever. It'll enslave you and turn your loyalties around. To the Hybrid's side of course. Not in a way the usual process of turning you into a hybrid would. It'll basically destroy the human part of you, the one giving the most resistance to everything, replacing it with a…more easily controlled one. While the memory might stay, the person turned will never be who he used to. Now, do you understand my urgency here?" Jade finished and watched the men present stare at her.

"Certainly we can find a way to reverse such effects, like we did before with the Athosians for instance," Lorne offered, being the first to absorb the information.

She shook her head. "As the good doctor Keller confirmed for me, this particular strain of the virus affects the brain, of all places. It affects it in a way not easily reversed."

"Not easily reversed?" McKay repeated.

"Well…I know you guys are advanced with technology and you're using Ancient technology too, your knowledge in medicine is also extensive…so I may be wrong to assume that replacing a person's brain is considered to be a difficult deed…?"

"Yeah well…that's still pretty difficult if you ask me," Sheppard stated, slightly taken aback.

Lorne cleared his throat and looked between the Colonel and Jade. "So…what do we do?"

Jade spoke up immediately. "I say we take that lab out as soon as possible. While it may not stop the development, it will certainly slow it down. And we'll need that extra time to finally find that Hybrid master mind behind all this."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Ronon backed her up.

Sheppard sat silently for a while, but then he looked up, his mind clearly made up. "Let's do it. We'll take Serenity, stealthily get to the planet, take a Jumper down and do a little bit of scouting."

"I was thinking more of…locating the base and sending shower of drones down," Jade cut in.

"That's what I'm thinking too, but before that, I wanna take a look inside, see if we can find something useful."

She frowned. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he replied, a little confused.

Maybe she doesn't have him that well figured out after all.

**17:25 PM**

"Alright, Ronon's with McKay, you'll cover mine and Lt. Miller's ass as we go inside, Lorne and JJ will scout the perimeter, radio contact every…"

"I don't think so," JJ refused, interrupting Sheppard.

"I _do_ think so," he argued back.

"With all due respect, when it comes to gathering information I'm the expert here and it seems to me that's exactly what we are planning on doing here. So…I'm going inside, whether you like it or not."

Sheppard scoffed, but he knew she was right. "Well then, you're with me, Miller join the Colonel."

"Yes sir," he replied and went off to check the surroundings with Lorne.

"Off we go," Sheppard commanded and headed for the location of the lab.

Leaving McKay and Ronon guard the vicinity of the entrance, the two of them moved further inside the strange compound, so far meeting no resistance.

"Isn't this structure somehow familiar to you?" JJ whispered, her eyes scanning the walls around them.

Sheppard shrugged. "Sort of…but just like you said, we do travel a lot, it could be just any design we encountered before."

"Looks Ancient to me," she said, earning a doubtful look. "Well not exactly Atlantis Ancient, but it has some of the older Ancient design features."

"Maybe the Hybrids were not the only ones believing this planet to be suitable for secret research."

"What I mean is that this would explain their use of Ancient technology. If they have discovered some Ancient outposts, former research labs and such, they could've scavenged numerous of artifacts they've used against us."

"Doesn't explain how they can use it though," Sheppard disagreed.

"Unless some of the Hybrids are former humans possessing this Ancient funky gene of yours."

Made sense. Why is she always making sense? Sheppard dismissed it and turned left to enter a small room, only to be met with what seemed to be a room similar to Atlantis's control room. Why is she always right?

"See? Definitely Ancient," she said, moving to inspect one of the consoles.

"Don't…touch anything," he stopped her, looking around. "We should get McKay here," he decided in the end.

"I realize McKay's a genius and all, but hello, I know my way around these too, having spent months on an Ancient ship all alone," she reminded him and despite his earlier warning touched the console in front of her, activating it.

Sheppard didn't bother stopping her, so he moved around to see for himself. "What'd ya have there?"

"I don't get it," she murmured, ignoring Sheppard's question. She stared at the console for some more and then looked up to meet Sheppard's gaze. "We need to get out of here, now!"

As much as he would love to argue about that, he's learnt that the word _now_ literally means _now or never_ in her vocabulary. Not waiting to be told twice, he moved hastily to the exit only to collide with something.

Before he could analyze what it is a fist sent him crumbling to the floor, his P-90 scattering away. His instincts kicked in just in time, as a heavy weight engulfed him. Kicking off his assailant, he quickly stood up to come face to face with a Hybrid, at least twice his size.

"Oh sh…" he proclaimed, as the Hybrid attacked again. This time he blocked it with his right hand, but the sheer power of the blow made him stumble backwards a bit. The larger human-wraith immediately took advantage of that, pushing him further back into a wall, crushing him with his body.

"Oh…" he growled at the impact and tried to punch him of, but the Hybrid grabbed his neck violently, pushing him back into the wall, strangling him. He felt his feet risen from the ground as he pushed him higher.

Sheppard tried to break free, but the more he struggled, the more he tightened his grip. He was struggling to breathe, his vision blurring, but then he saw, out of the corner of his eyes, something flying towards his head. Or so he thought. Whatever it was, it smashed into the Hybrid's head, knocking him off his feat.

Sheppard slid down the wall, coughing violently. The sound of a muffled scream and a snap made him look up. Sitting up, he saw the Hybrid lying motionlessly on the ground; two more were lying on the other side of the room, just as still.

"Ew…" he heard, looking back at his former attacker.

Rolling the dead weight to the side, JJ got to her feet, breathing heavily, wincing at the movement. Moving silently across the room, where her blaster's holster laid discarded, she picked it up, drew one of the blasters out and shot each Hybrid dead.

"Are you dead in there Sheppard?" she spoke to the staring soldier still sitting on the floor. Picking up his lost P-90 from the ground, she tossed it at him. "If not, let's get moving. Unless you're waiting for a next round."

He caught it and stood up. "Lorne, we're getting out of here, everyone fall back to the Jumper!" he spoke into the radio.

"There's no time for that, Chuck needs to beam us up," she replied, moving to the door, searching for any more Hybrids coming.

"Would you _please_ tell me what's going on?" Sheppard snapped, crouching opposite of her, his P-90 raised alerted.

"You'll never get tired of asking that question, right? Chuck, beam everyone up, now!" she commanded, ignoring Sheppard again.

" _I'm on it," he replied._

"Since when are _you_ …oh never mind," Sheppard growled and waited to be beamed up.

After an awkward moment of silence, Sheppard rolled his eyes and tapped his earpiece again. "Chuck, we're ready."

Instead of Chuck, McKay spoke up. " _We're having some trouble doing that; you see there must be something wrong with the reception and…"_

"McKay!" the both of them shouted at the not-present man. Sheppard looked at JJ, who just shrugged.

"… _eh…you need to get out of that lab; I can't beam you up while you're in there."_

"Run for it," JJ whispered, starting off first, Sheppard following suit.

"Watch out!" he shouted, shoving her to the side, shooting ahead at the Hybrids coming up front.

JJ crouched and drawing her second blaster, she fired with both. Sheppard watched as the enemies hit the ground, but he noticed the red bursts of energy missing their target most of the time. He looked down on the woman, but judging by her concentrated gaze, she was not missing on purpose.

When silence filled the hall, they started running for the exit again. "You know, you should give me these, seriously, you suck at shooting!" he suggested.

She just chuckled. "Yeah, just as much as you suck at close combat."

"I don't…" remembering the sudden attack in the control room, saying he didn't would probably sound…childish. He got his ass kicked. "Just keep on running," he said in the end.

Shooting a few more Hybrids on the way, they emerged from the hideout, but kept on running still.

"Mckay?" JJ called for the scientist in a hurry.

" _Got you!"_

Then, everything went black.

**19:54 PM**

Sheppard jerked awake, quickly reaching for his side arm. There was none.

"Easy there," Ronon said somewhere from his left and in a second the big man stepped inside his line of vision.

"What the ow…," he winced, trying to sit up. "The hell happened?"

"You got caught up in the blast."

Sheppard frowned, he tried to remember, but all he knew was that they made it out of the hideout. "What blast?"

"Hybrids knew we were there, set auto destruction on. The whole thing blew up," Ronon explained.

"Ah…I see." He finally sat up and looked around the small infirmary of Serenity. "Where's JJ?" he asked, not seeing the woman in there.

"With McKay, going through the crystals."

"What crystals?" he felt like he slept through a few days, not an hour, because he seemed to be forgetting stuff.

"She brought some from that control room."

He certainly didn't remember her taking anything. Then again, he still has no idea how she took those three Hybrids down either. "Found something useful?"

"Let's go and see," Ronon suggested and offered a hand to Sheppard, who just slapped it away and stood up himself.

"Got legs, see," he said through gritted teeth, wincing with every step.

* * *

"Whoa, you look like crap!" Rodney stated, looking at Sheppard.

"Thanks Rodney, hearing that makes me feel so much better. What's this?" he asked, pointing at the Ancient designed crystals, currently hooked up to McKay's laptop.

"Ah these are ah…"

"Memory crystals. He's trying to extract the data, see if we can get onto something," JJ finished for him, from where she was sitting in the commander's chair.

He eyed her suspiciously. "You okay?"

"Peachy. Not my first time getting blown up," she smirked at him.

He grimaced and narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't feel like arguing, so he turned back to McKay. "Do you think you can get something out of it?"

The said scientist looked offended. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"He'll get it out," JJ said confidently.

"See, she trusts me," he smiled and returned back to his work.

"Wonderful," he smiled just as wide and fake and turned to leave.

**22:34 PM**

He's had enough. Enough of her all-knowingness. Enough of her scrutinizing eyes. Enough of her lies! He stormed into his office, unlocking one of the drawers grabbing onto her laptop. She has asked numerous of times already to get it back, but she loves to play with words, right? Why, she said they could keep it, so he would indeed keep it.

Making a small observation himself, he guessed that there's something important in there, or she wouldn't constantly demand it back. While Rodney might have given up hacking into it, he's nowhere near giving up.

Turning it on, the screen flashed with the request for a password.

_Password, password…could be something familiar. Something simple and…_

Typing in _Jade_ , he got a negative response.

_Maybe something not THAT simple…_

He tried a few more words but to no veil. He kept on trying. He didn't understand anything anymore. Ever since she has shown up his life turned upside down. Zelenka and Woolsey are dead. Elizabeth…is dead. And here she is, lying through her teeth; she cares for none of it. She has no idea…no idea what he's gone through these past few months. For her it's just information and mission and whatnot.

A strange beeping snapped him out of his reverie. He looked down at the screen and his eyes widened - he's gotten through. Staring at the plain blue background of the now loaded account, he wondered what he's just typed in that has granted him access.

He remembered.

"That can't be," he whispered. He stared disbelievingly at the screen. There was just _no_ way.

The password was _JJ_.

As simple as it was, there was just no way for that to be right. She didn't have access to that laptop since it was confiscated the first time around. She couldn't have changed the password to the nickname he thought up just few days ago. Then again, she seemed taken aback when he called her like that. Maybe someone else gave her the nickname before him. Yes, that must be it.

He looked up, a clapping sound from the opposite doorway startling him. He was so immersed in his find, that he didn't even notice her entering the office.

"Good job," she said sarcastically, still clapping for him. "You've finally solved the mystery that got McKay so annoyed. Eventually, typing in the right password always works."

Just one glance at her told him everything. Now that was new.

She was angry. Maybe…little beyond angry.

"I believe you said, that the laptop is still with the technicians and that's why I can't have it back yet. Of course that would be a lie. I thought you hated liars."

He cleared his throat and looked her straight in the eyes. "I told you I will find out."

"Find out what?" she asked, raising her voice. "What do you think you will find in a laptop? The ultimate answer to the meaning of life? Oh I get it. Maybe some incriminating information like…I'm a Hybrid spy, or a Genii spy. Maybe even a Wraith spy. Wouldn't really matter as long as it would be _the bomb_ , right?"

"Judging by your obvious anger, I say there's a lot I will find in here."

She laughed. A hauntingly desperate laugh. "Your observation skills suck, as always. What if I am not angry because you've broke into my laptop and you'll about to find some dirt about me, but simply because _you've broken into my laptop_?"

"So what? It's not like you were about to tell me the truth anytime soon!" he raised his voice too and stood up.

"Did your tiny little mind ever considered this one possibility - I don't _want_ to tell you! Because it's _not_ important. It won't change anything!" she shouted now.

"Won't change anything? You were lying since the day one, now why would you do that, if the truth is so unimportant, why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted to protect you!" she screamed, earning curious looks of the technicians in the control room. "Because the more you know about me, the more complicated this situation gets!"

"You can't know that!" he argued back narrowing his eyes.

"You don't know anything!" she shouted slowly, her voice piercing through the air like a knife. He winced. Not because of the volume her voice produced. It was the tears in those jade eyes that snapped him out of his anger. "You…you are a selfish bastard that cares for nothing anymore! You have no idea what you have, no idea! McKay, Ronon, Lorne, Keller, all these people, the city, you have it all, right here! But you don't care!" she continued just as slowly, although her voice dropped to a whisper. "Instead of asking McKay why is he so damned quiet lately, you're obsessed with the truth behind my every lie. You haven't noticed have you? Quite a friend you are. And Ronon? When was the last time you went sparring with him? Can't remember, huh? Explains why you'd get yourself killed today! But that wouldn't matter either, right? Because you don't even care if you die anymore!"

He stared. He just stared.

She breathed heavily, tears let loose. "You are still the same," she whispered, in a voice so broken he flinched. "Go on. Get back to your little mystery of me. Because you are right. You'll find all you damned answers on that laptop. But don't be disappointed when the answer is not the one you wanted to find. Because it's all, but that," she finished and left, leaving the stunned Colonel standing there dumbfounded.

When he finally got his bearings, he moved back to sit down. He was not expecting her to react this way.

" _If he wanted us hurt or dead or worse, he had every opportunity these past few days. No I think he's trying to help us."_

" _Whatever it is you believe this person to be, I think you are wrong. There's something bothering him too. Something painful."_

" _While you try to convince yourself that it's not your fault, you still see it as your fault despite your angered reactions. The thing is, while you drown yourself in self pity and guilt, you pull everyone else down to the bottom with you, because instead of voicing your emotions to someone, to your best buddies over here for instance, you keep it bottled up in you. And when it blows out, all hell breaks loose."_

" _You are a selfish bastard that slaps every friendly hand reaching out to help you away. You enjoy your little depressing distance and you let others suffer the sight."_

" _I hate people that lie to themselves."_

It all came rushing back to him, these past few months. He's changed in a way he can't quite understand himself yet. Looking at the blue screen, he's decided to find the answer to his dilemma. By finding the answer to _her._

" _You'll find all you damned answers on that laptop."_

Clicking the single folder open, he found numerous video files there. Hovering over the _Unnamed 1_ , he hesitated.

" _The answer is not the one you wanted to find."_

He clicked it open and waited for it to load. What he saw next got his heart racing.

" _Is that thing on?" a male voice spoke._

He paused it, watching the screen as if he saw a ghost. But if that's a ghost, he's as good as dead. His mind went completely blank and he started the video again. He needs to see…he needs to know.

" _Are you sure you didn't just waste three months worth of pay for some defective junk?" the man smiled and inspected the camera's front closely._

That man was _the_ one and only, John Sheppard himself.


	10. Broken mirror, broken reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place "in the video footage Sheppard found" except for the ending.

"Is that thing on? Are you sure you didn't just waste three months worth of pay for some defective junk?" he smiled and inspected the camera's front closely.

"It's no junk, Sheppard. It's the new HD Canon camcorder," a female voice spoke off the screen.

"Yeah, so? Canon stuff gets broken too. Especially when delivering it across two galaxies."

"Right, well it would be much better if the idiots in the SGC wouldn't lose the actual manual for this when they packed it for Deadalus. Now I can only guess what the damn buttons are for," she said, irritated.

"Maybe you should've called McKay to help you," he smirked.

"And listen to how useless I am, not being able to handle a new piece of _Earthly_ technology? Are you nuts?"

He laughed. "He wouldn't dare. For all he knows, you could assign him a three months mission on M7G-677."

"And pack him a snack box full of lemons and crayons for the kids…oh I think it's on!"

"Really? Let's see then."

The screen went dark and shaky for a second and then finally focused on Sheppard's female company.

"Well don't just stare at me, say hi to the fans," Sheppard laughed again.

"Heya, this is JJ speaking. I'll be your commanding officer for the day," she said earning a chuckle. She looked slightly different, her hair much longer and let loose, her forehead covered with the suspected fringe. Instead of the brown leather attire similar to what the Travelers wear, she was wearing the black version of the Atlantean uniform.

"Yeah, and the next day and the day after that and…well you could get a day off then and in that case I'll be the CO for the day," Sheppard offered.

"Sure, like I could let you guard the city for a single day, you'll get it blown up. And that's the mildest scenario. Gimme that," she said, taking the camera and shutting it down.

**oooFlashooo**

The next image was of the Gate room, decorated for a festive occasion. Everyone seemed to be present.

"Right, now when my perfectly embarrassing speech is over, let's see how drunk has my senior staff gotten," JJ spoke off screen, holding the camera. Zooming in on Sheppard, sitting down the stairs, she chuckled. "Here comes _Colonel_ John Sheppard, probably occupied with spreading the news of his newly attained burden of command. It's been two weeks…the man will never get tired of this."

"Is that a camera?" someone asked, the camera immediately finding the person and 'nodding'.

"Yep, I am a camera, full HD Canon my friend," JJ answered totally seriously.

Lorne narrowed his eyes and closed up on the objective. "Cool, I knew it."

"What?"

"That you are going to film every inch of the city, cut it into a documentary and upload it on youtube…in HD!" he said accusingly, his eyes still narrowed and dangerous.

The camera lowered slightly. "Damn. Now my plans for evoking world chaos and seizing power are all done for! Or not." Lorne raised his brows, curious. "If I just kill you here, no one will ever know." The camera suddenly assaulted the Colonel and went dark again only a muffled groan and a laugh were heard in the background.

 

  
**o** **ooFlashooo**

Next shot was of JJ, looking slightly worn out, but serious.

"Heya, when you'll see this, you will probably be struggling to remember anything, where you are, what are you doing here, your name even. Eventually, none of it matters. All you need to do is look for this man, if you have lost him somewhere along the way," she reached for someone beside her, pulling Ronon into the view.

"Hi," he growled, waving at the camera.

She smiled at him and pushed him back off the screen. "His name's Ronon, you can trust him. Trust no one else. Oh, right, you can trust Teyla," she suddenly remembered, stepped forward and turned the camera to the right side, where Teyla was helping Rodney with something. "That's her right there. But no one else. Oh and no matter what happens, remember that all the people you'll encounter are _your_ people; they are all good, no matter how crazy they'll seem. So…don't shoot them dead, or beat them to a pulp well…you know…don't waste your time, find Ronon, go!"

 

**oooFlashooo**

"Wow…the cam is actually getting all this!" she spoke off screen again, filming a night sky above Atlantis. "Eeeeeevry single star is visible."

"Now that's what I call HD," Sheppard said somewhere from beside her. "When's the party going to start?"

"Should be any moment now," Rodney answered and the camera spun around to him sitting behind her, working on his laptop.

"You've said that half an hour ago. Are you sure you're still the brain of the expedition?" she said jokingly and chuckled as Rodney rolled his eyes at her. "I could…you know…promote Zelenka anytime…"

"Right and you'll be spending the next year picking up pieces of the city scattered around the planet from the blast!" the scientist snapped back.

"You're calling this fun?" the camera turned to Ronon, sitting next to Sheppard.

"Wait for it Chewie, you are about to witness a meteor shower of your life," Sheppard said, excited.

"Uh huh," the big man growled back.

"This will be no meteor shower, Colonel Dumbass," Rodney smirked.

Sheppard snorted. "Space debris falling through the atmosphere and stuff, that's a meteor shower, Rodney."

"Ha, you see there'll be thousands of meteors falling down starting today, that's no shower, that's a storm!"

"McKay, are you seriously…" Sheppard started to argue, but the camera turned away suddenly and his rambling fell into the background.

"What?" JJ asked, surprised.

"Meteor _storm_ , two o'clock." That was Lorne speaking right next to the camera, which moved again, turning up and right, it zoomed to see the show.

"Wooow, nice," JJ said, smiling. "Would you guys just shut up and watch?" she scolded the two bickering men and continued to film the storm in silence.

 

**oooFlashooo**

"…and he asked Dorsey if he wants to play along…man…he was broke after three rounds, I think I've never seen anyone lose a hundred bucks so fast," Lorne said somewhere from behind, while the camera filmed an ocean below a balcony.

"He's a new guy, he didn't know our team is the infamous get-you-broke-in-poker reconnaissance team," she laughed.

"Heh, well he abandoned us then and said he'll rather go play chess with Zelenka."

"Poor Dorsey, he barely got his monthly pay and he's lost it already."

"What's with the camera?" he asked, probably noticing just now.

"Why? I've finished my book. Now I have to continue to film every inch of the city and the surrounding ocean or the youtube project will never be done!" she answered sarcastically.

"Right."

"Hang on a sec, you are not painting _me_ in there, are you?" she asked suspiciously, the camera turning around to reveal Lorne painting something at the back of the balcony.

"Uh…nope. I'd rather say it's a…random person sitting by the railing and reading a book. Has anyone ever told you that you are difficult to recognize from the back?" he tried to change the subject.

"Has anyone ever kicked your ass?" she replied dangerously, but there were hints of a smile behind it.

He nodded. "You did… _and_ Ronon."

"What about Johnny boy?" she asked curiously.

"Never sparred with him," he shrugged.

"Why not? Afraid?" she smiled.

He chuckled. "No…it's not like we were hanging around each other much, being different teams and all."

"And yet, you were sparring with Ronon," she pointed out.

"I asked him to teach me some close combat tricks," he replied immediately, not realizing his mistake.

" _I_ could have taught you close combat tricks," she said, sounding overly hurt.

"Yeah well…," he just smiled apologetically.

"Is that the _man's pride and ego_ box again?"

"Very observant of you…as always. Getting my ass kicked by that titan is okay by the man's manual."

"Getting your ass kicked by a girl all the time…you wouldn't hear the end of it for years," she mocked him.

"Exactly! You're reading my mind."

"That's what I do," she said, sounding like a James Bond. "Are you finished with that scribble? I say we go scavenge a snack; we've been here for hours. "

"Sounds like a plan…wait, did you just called this a _scribble_?" he narrowed his eyes, glaring at her. "You!" he growled and threw a brush at her.

"Ouch…you could have just lost it to the sea!" The brush went flying back at Lorn, but missed by far.

"My aim is way better than yours, you know," he smirked and went to pick the brush up.

"Yeah, sure…wait…McKay? Mc…M…Rodney! Slow down, your jaw hinges will catch on fire!" she shouted, probably through the radio, the camera dropping down to the ground, filming Lorne's feet as he approached. "A what? Quarantine? No…no of course I've noticed!"

"Noticed what?" Lorne asked.

"The city went into some freaky quarantine mode; shutting down everything, locking up all doors…the self-destruction was obviously on the past few minutes."

"Really?" he said disbelievingly.

"Where have I been the whole time? Um…stuck on the far northern balcony…yes, Lorne is here too. Well guess what, he swam all the way here, he climbed too I couldn't stop him!"

Lorne laughed. "Is everything alright?"

"See you in a sec Rodney. Yep, it seems Zelenka got into the power room and rebooted the system. Ah and Sheppard played spiderman climbing all the way up from Rodney's lab into the control room."

"He's crazy…ah you're not thinking what I think you are thinking!"

"Climbing up the control tower…I'm doing that next time I have a day off. And you can paint it…you know…a random person climbing up a tower."

"Sure…"

 

**oooFlashooo**

The next shot was of a baby resting in someone's arms.

"Awwww isn't he just cute?" JJ spoke, holding the camera again. "Hullooo Torren, say hello to auntie JJ here."

"He won't be able to speak for more than a year." The camera turned to Rodney, sitting on the opposite side of the bed with Sheppard

"And since when are _you_ the baby expert in here, McKay. You didn't even know the name of your niece," Sheppard said, smirking.

"Gentleman, please…he's too young to go nuts from the two of you, but we're not," JJ scolded them. "You know Teyla, Jade is a nice name, you should think about a baby sister for this little guy," she offered, the camera returning back to a smiling Teyla holding Torren.

"Right, as if a single pair of John and Jade is not enough around here," McKay said.

"John and Jade…that sounds just weird," JJ stated. "I prefer the usual - the Colonel and JJ."

"More like Kirk and Xena. Or Bonnie and Clyde," McKay continued to tease.

"Did he just compare us to that thief couple?" Sheppard grimaced.

"It's still _General_ Bonnie for you McKay, so don't push your luck, or the next person to go visit more kids checking their power generator, will be you," she warned and McKay's smirk disappeared.

"Hmm."

"The only Bonnie and Clyde in this city is Ronon with Jennifer," she said later, thinking about it.

"What?" Rodney asked looking up, startled.

"I think she has the hots for him," she teased him obviously, but the scientist seemed unaware.

"No she doesn't! They're just…friends," he argued back.

"McKay…me and JJ are friends, but the two of them…ah I saw the way they look at each other," Sheppard joined in. "And Ronon mentioned something too…"

"Wh…what? As in…you know," Rodney said, embarrassed.

Sheppard shrugged and smirked. "Well, _you_ know Rodney…see Teyla here, we had no idea she hooked up with someone, until little Torren was already a half baby," he pointed out.

"I knew," JJ chuckled.

"Of course _you_ knew…you're the Big Brother's Big Sister, you see everything!" Sheppard laughed darkly.

"Shut it, Colonel…right now, I see this little angel here," she said, the camera once again closing in on the now sleeping Torren. "How can you sleep through uncles Rodney and Johnny, I've no idea. You lucky boya."

 

**oooFlashooo**

"Aaaaand here he comes!" JJ announced, just as the camera focused on the Stargate.

Beaming right in front of it was Daniel Jackson. "Hey," he greeted, two bags in his hands. "Are you filming my arrival, Jade?" he asked moving closer.

"No…yes. I need to have a proof once Jack gives me a call, asking me where the hell his archeologist is. How did you get past the Old'Neill anyway?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you that and you will use the trick to disappear from him next time he'll want to shoot you, because you called him old…again."

"Don't be silly Daniel…if that happens…again…I'll just run away, again," she laughed. "He may shoot well, but I still run faster."

"Remind me about it on your funeral."

"Come on, let's say hi to the gang, Rodney's all excited about your arrival."

"He is?" Daniel frowned.

"Ah…no."

 

**oooFlashooo**

When the image cleared again, it's once again a shot of an ocean, but soon raises up to behold the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. For a long time, it remains silent, with only the sounds of the ocean waves and some of the traffic sounds reaching the city now floating near San Francisco, home, on Earth.

"Thousand dollars for your thoughts?" asked a male voice, recognized as Lorne when the camera spotted him, near the entrance to the northern balcony.

"No thoughts, so it's for free," JJ spoke, her voice tainted with fatigue and something else.

"I heard we've been cleared to return back to Pegasus as soon as the repairs are done," he said casually, sitting down next to her.

"Yes, Rodney got his hands on a ZPM that was found recently and immediately claimed it as _his_ , so we should have enough power to make it back and operate the city for a while. IOA has given us a green light on today's meeting," she replied with no hints of the excitement the Colonel's voice held before.

The camera was once again discarded on the floor, with only a limited view of the Golden Gate beyond the railing.

"I can hear the enthusiasm, come on. What's going on?"

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"You…don't want to return?" he offered.

"Where are you getting these ideas, of course I want to return!"

"Then what's the problem with you today, JJ?" he asked urgently, worry evident in his every word.

A deep sigh could be heard. "This…has nothing to do with it."

"Then…"

"I'd rather not talk about it…please. I'm fine, really. Just…a bad day."

There was a moment of silence. "Okay. Come on then, the guys are throwing off a party in the mess hall, it'll get ugly in an hour if you're not there to ban the alcohol."

 

**oooFlashooo**

Next shot was of a lab inside the city. It was burned and smoke was still rising from all around the area of the blast.

"Do we have an idea what caused this?" Sheppard spoke up, appearing in the shot as he walked further into what was left of the room.

"Apparently the ancient device we've been working on…it was booby trapped. When I tried to reprogram it, it must've triggered an underlying virus that erased all fail safes from it. When…when Zelenka activated it, it overloaded in matter of seconds. He had no chance to shut it down, or run away," he added, guilt ridden.

"I told you not to play with that thing, you should have just leave it alone, McKay," Sheppard scolded him. "But you just had to play the _smarter than the Ancients_ again!"

"Yes! It's all my fault they're dead, you happy now?" Rodney blurted out angrily.

"Stop it you two!" JJ shouted at them. "It's no one's fault. Doc, are there any more casualties?"

"Few people were passing by this area and ended up with mild burns and head trauma, but nothing life-threatening," Keller informed from afar.

"So it's Zelenka and Woolsey?" Sheppard stated, rather than asked.

"Yeah…"JJ whispered.

 

**oooFlashooo**

Rodney's face appeared as he was sitting somewhere, dressed in a white gown.

"Hey um…eh…," he sighed. "I've always imagined this to be easier, you know the ah…dead man talking and all…" he laughed, bemused. "Yes yes…it seems the great Rodney McKay has finally met a problem he cannot solve…actually I haven't, basically this is not a problem that can be solved so…in the end…this could be worse you know…I could've drown or suffocated…or I could have been eaten by a whale!"

He paused, looking down.

"But enough of the death talk…I just…what I meant to say here is…that the past five years in here…were the best years of my life, really. Better than my first date with Julia Sullivan in my senior high. Maybe not better than me getting the Nobel's prize next year, but since I won't live up to get it, it won't count. Anyway…I just want you to know that you guys have been…like a family to me. And I'm not really the family kindda guy, but…all of you here…I guess you've shown me what a family really is. In the end I was a…crappy brother and terrible uncle and…I would definitely be the worst dad in this whole universe. So…I still have no idea why were you…such great…friends to me this whole time."

Pausing again, he was struggling to hide the tears in his eyes, but in the end he managed, faking his five parsecs wide smile and looking back at the camera.

"I will miss you all, greatly. You ah…Ronon and your…barbaric habits. Sheppard…I know I know, we were..mostly…arguing and bickering about everything and nothing but…you're…you. I don't know what your problem was lately and I probably never will, but whatever it is, don't let it get to you. Just…be yourself. You could try to…apologize and voice your feelings every now and then, but…baby steps. Don't lose it. JJ um…Jade…stop playing the innocent one, we all know what're you capable of...um…use that annoying ability of yours, because in the end, it always works and…things just…work out. That's why you've done so well as the ah…both military and expedition leader of this base. I know I wasn't the ideal head of the science department sometimes, but…I'm glad you always trusted me despite…other unnamed Colonel's opinions. So…thanks and…bye."

He looked up, probably thinking what to say. "Oh…I won't miss Doctor whoever his name was, that was assigned to me last week, he is totally useless, so Jade, please, don't promote him, he's an arrogant ass that has no idea what he's talking about."

Grabbing the camera, he stood up mumbling: "That's it."

 

**oooFlashooo**

"…I'm telling you this is far beyond IOA's authority, they have no idea what they're doing, don't you get it?" Sheppard spoke, the camera however remained dark, as if it has been shut on accidentally, while still in the bag.

"I get it, Colonel, but now is really not the time to discuss this," came an irritated reply from JJ. "The IOA insists on continuing the fight against the Hybrids."

"But at what costs? Would you just…would you stop for a second!" he shouted. "We've lost 80% of the city's personnel in the last two attacks! We have no idea who's in their lead, we have no way of finding him and we still have no idea where they got Ancient tech _or_ how are they able to use it _or_ how can _we_ defend ourselves!"

"What's your point, _Colonel_?"

"We should re-think our next steps, if we let IOA take the lead there's…do you hear that?"

There was silence and then an explosion. The camera's view cleared, although the image remained blurred, as it was swinging from one side to the other, filming the depths of the city below. Sound of darts wheezing by was heard, people were screaming in the background but the closest sound that could be heard were gasps for air and coughing.

As the camera slowed down, a pair of legs moving desperately in the air, searching for support, came into view, the camera obviously hanging from someone's backpack.

"Shit," someone breathed out, leg movements stilled and so the camera's image calmed as well.

"Jade!" Sheppard called from above.

"Still here," she tried to shout back confidently, but her voice cracked.

"Hold on I'm coming down!"

"Huh…I can't."

"You…listen, listen to me! You are not letting go of that railing, JJ! You are not letting go, do you hear me?" he screamed, sounds of shooting and more darts flying by could be heard. "JJ!" he shouted, when no reply came.

"Okay! Okay…" she blurted out, the camera bouncing on her tight, as she swayed a little, probably adjusting her grip.

"I'm almost there!"

"Watch out!" could be heard from afar and the sound of an impact and a scream muted the volume for a moment.

The image blurred once again, the camera was falling. Everything went black when it hit the ground.

The image blinked a few times, but became steady after a while, the camera most likely surviving the impact. Sounds of battle emerged from the silence again going on for hours.

There on the cold floor of Atlantis's ground, she laid dead, blood everywhere.

The image stayed there, until the battle ended and a couple of feet came running to the location of the accident, picking the camera up and shutting it down.

 

**oooFlashooo**

It came back on, showing Sheppard sitting on his bed in his room. His eyes looked straight ahead at the camera; they were vacant, his face unreadable.

He stared at nothing in particular for a long time.

"The IOA has taken the lead of Atlantis. Yesterday they've sent three hundred soldiers through the gate here, believing that they can take on the Hybrids with more military power. We've taken down one of the Hybrid's labs a week ago. The retaliation that came was…severe. They only sent a few darts…but they penetrated our shield as if it wasn't even there and did a number on the city before we shot them down."

He paused, looking for words.

"We've lost the General and thirty more people. Sixty were hurt. IOA…has sent another three hundred of soldiers to the slaughter. We don't know anything about our enemy. We are sitting ducks here and the only person that could turn the tables is…gone."

He looked at something he was holding in his hands, but it wasn't visible.

"I'm leaving with Ronon tomorrow. They think I'll only go escort him, but I have no plans returning to Atlantis. There's…nothing left in here. Ronon has a plan…as he usually does. I'll stick with him for as long as we have that plan. And then…I don't know why I'm saying this…it's not like anyone will watch this anyway. I'm being stupid," he whispered and stood up to shut the camera down.

There were tears streaming down his face.

 

**oooFootageEndooo**

**23:56 AM**

Sheppard watched the screen, his face a pure shock. He didn't even notice the tears welling up in his own eyes until they made it out, sliding quietly down his cheeks. And he couldn't care less. He couldn't watch any more of this.

Because for the first time in a while everything was starting to make sense. But this was not what he wanted. This was not what he was looking for. This was…

He wished he could start this god damned day over again. Maybe then it wouldn't have to come to this. Then again, it could just drive him crazy sooner, rather than later.

He understood now. Well, he actually didn't, not really. But he knows of a way to get the rest of the answers. By using words.

Standing up, he headed for where he believed the not-all-that-mysterious woman to be.


	11. Ego sum, qui sum

The door swooshed open, cold night breeze brushed his face as he entered the one and only northern balcony no one ever goes to, because it's way too small and way too acrophobic, being located at the top of the north tower having nothing but an ocean below.

As the door closed behind him, he didn't dare to make any further step towards the person now sitting by the edge of the balcony, legs swaying in the air, head resting on the railing.

"I watched the video," he started, watching her every move.

"I thought you might," she said calmly, despite their earlier argument. Glancing back at him, she met his eyes as if searching for something, her face wasn't emotionless like it used to be most of the time; it was simply…peaceful.

He held the gaze, the contact not scaring him anymore. "I'm sorry," he said in a voice so serious it surprised even him. "Really…I was wrong and…I'm sorry."

She turned back to watch the ocean and sighed. "You have nothing to be sorry for…you couldn't have known…"

"It doesn't matter," he cut in watching her look back at him again, mild surprise spreading over her features. "You were trying to help since the beginning and I was acting like an idiot this whole time, making it harder for you…and all of us. There's no excuse…for my behavior…and that's what I'm sorry for," he explained resolutely.

She nodded slightly. "Okay."

Silence settled in, as they continued to stare at each other.

First to break it with a deep sight was JJ. "Go on, shoot the thousands of questions," she said a small smile playing on her lips.

"You really know how my mind works, don't you?" he replied, daring to move closer, sitting down few steps away from her, leaning on the railing.

"I'm afraid so."

He almost rolled his eyes at that. "Who are you…really…besides being a Traveler for the past half a year," he quickly added.

She acknowledged his question with a thoughtful nod. "My name's Jade Langford, born 1974, Liverpool, Great Britain."

"Something tells me if I searched for you birth certificate here, I'd get none."

"You observation skills are getting better with every minute," she smiled.

"You're from an alternate reality," he stated thoughtfully.

"With every second," she corrected herself.

He frowned suddenly. "Why does that name sound familiar to me?"

She shrugged. "I'm sure there are thousands of Langfords around the world. But of course, you might have heard about my grandma, with her being all over the Stargate program since the thing was uncovered in Giza."

"Catherine…Catherine Langford is you grandmother?"

"From where I'm, yes…from what I know about this place, granny had no kids at all, so without my father being born my own birth got slightly difficult I imagine."

"They called you…General? Air Force?" he asked, earning a chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing. Air Force no…Marine Corps actually. I used to be a negotiator for the military in the Middle East."

"Military negotiator?" he grimaced. "That doesn't really go together."

She smirked. "Not the first time I'm hearing this. When I got my doctorate, military addressed me with a job offer. All I needed to hear was negotiator and Middle East. Civilian diplomats usually returned home in a box from that place. And I wasn't planning to have a funeral so soon after I finally finished school. But seeing that my skills could be used well in there, bargaining for hostages, getting information out of prisoners and so on, I signed up for the Corps and had my military training done."

He nodded, understanding now. "Military negotiator, huh? My guess is…information gathering and close combat specialization."

"That's a lame guess, considering you _know_ I specialize in intel. And you saw how my shooting is, so…no surprise there. Anyway, I was later reassigned to the SGC and been a member of SG-7 for five years there. Being promoted to a Colonel I received an offer to take the lead over the military contingent of the Atlantis Expedition. And from then on, you know how it went, pretty much."

"No…not really. It's weird. I mean…in a way your reality is so different from ours and yet…"

"Here we are, facing the very same problem," she finished for him. "I believe many things were different and played out differently, but it seems everything that lead to this point has happened in both our realities nonetheless."

"Yeah about that…there's one thing about the video that doesn't really add up," he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

She gave him a knowing smile. "Why am not dead. And yet, you have a theory about it already."

"I do, but I'd rather hear it from you. Enough of the speculations."

Nodding slowly, she turned away from him again.

"Everything that happened in the past few months here, started happening in my reality a year ago. But there was no one to warn us about it, no one to tell us what to do. All your nightmares…were a reality there. It started with Zelenka and Woolsey as well. Then the Hoffan plague emerged and people started dying. Sixty percent of the base didn't make it. With both McKay and Zelenka gone, our science department was crippled and the progress we made, if there was any, in trying to find more about Hybrid's new methods, was stalled. IOA decided to lend us a hand in there and assigned Carter and Daniel to take the job. But their research was short-lived as well. As the _hell_ device beamed down to the ZPM room, the unrestrained effects of it killed everyone in the vicinity of it. Mess hall full of people…and the two of them in the nearby lab as well."

"Atlantis wasn't destroyed though," he said, daring to jump in her monologue.

"No. Eventually…the idea to bring back Elizabeth and have her help us was all mine."

"Why didn't you just send a message telling us to do that in the first place?" he wondered.

"I imagine there were a lot of things I could've told you differently, but trust me, there was always a good reason not to. As for this particular case, I was not ready to argue about it with you all over again. It would waste time…again," she explained, evading his gaze. "After this the IOA stated, that we need to get the fight on their side and start a massive offensive, since defense was futile. We got the intel about the lab we visited today. Got there with the Deadalus and nuked it to oblivion. They…were not really happy about it. The attack you've seen in the video, that was their retaliation. Just a pack of darts…and the city ended up crippled for weeks. Of course destroying Atlantis was no longer on their list. But in a way, they managed to just that."

"How did you survive?"

"I didn't. Technically speaking, I was as dead as I could possibly be. For all I can remember of that attack, I was dead before I even hit the ground…for which I am strangely thankful for."

"You ascended," Sheppard breathed out.

She smiled slightly. "What happened to no speculations? Relax," she stopped him, as he was about to apologize. "You are quite right, again. The ascension was short-lived as well though. Seeing what was about to happen, I couldn't just sit on my ascended butt and watch. Me re-taking human form however went not according to my plans."

"I can imagine the almighty ascended Ancients were not happy about you trying to descent with all that knowledge," Sheppard grimaced sympathetically.

She snorted. "The almighty ascended Asses were certainly not. And so I ended up on a stranded planet with my memory wiped. Considering I eventually started to remember from that point on, my struggle to resist their efforts was not wasted after all. But by the time I got myself off that rock and arrived at Atlantis, it was already too late," she whispered and paused, listening to the calming sound of waves hitting the city shore below.

Sheppard turned away, matching her position, taking a deep breath, he decided to ask. "What happened?"

She rested her head beck against the railing. "All our fears came true. Atlantis turned into a military squad lead by the IOA…if that's not enough to explain, I don't know what is. Once the Hybrids finished perfecting the virus, instead of killing the human resources, they turned them into one of their own. With Atlantis personnel tainted the battle was bound to happen. Eventually those infected were killed, the rest escaped to Earth, Atlantis's gate permanently blocked to both Earth and Pegasus. I got there by Serenity, but found nothing."

"Where did you get that ship anyway?"

"There are things I remembered from my brief stay with the Ancient elite. The whereabouts of the ship, the Japanese civilization on that Stargate-less planet; those memories I've managed to retain. Ironically enough, there are still things I can't quite remember from the time before I ascended. If I would I could've destroyed the tainted Ancient device myself, only I had no idea on which planet we found it. Anyway, after futile attempts at contacting our offworld allies, I decided to scout a little bit more through places I remembered, usually former Ancient posts. That's how I discovered this…device, similar to the Quantum mirror SG-1 found in the Milky Way. My guess is, it's the earlier version of it, also created by the Ancients. It's much bigger as well."

Sheppard nodded and tried to process the information. "So you've decided to come here?" Why?"

She shrugged slightly. "I think I was hoping to find the one reality, where we've kicked the Hybrids asses and survived all this. This reality has proven to be the closest one to that wish. Contacting the Travelers and successfully joining their ranks, I found that this universe is yet to encounter the treat of the Hybrids, seeing how similar our two realities are, I decided to stay and see how things play out. Once you have returned from the Earth, Hybrids started their move already. So I've considered my moves as well."

"Haven't considered coming to us, explaining the situation and work together from the beginning?" he couldn't help, but ask.

She glanced back at him. "I couldn't do that. The less involvement with the all of you from my part, the lesser impact on the future events. I couldn't just watch the past repeating itself, but there was no way I could allow myself to approach you directly. It seems that my interference has already caused changes I will soon fail to comprehend. They are far too close to the completion of the virus, than they should be. Their failed attempts at your annihilation must have speeded up their efforts in that area," she sighed, looking away. "It's not easy for me to…cooperate with you this way either. It's way too confusing. Now more than ever. I told you…the truth will only lead to complications."

He could see where she was coming from. Of course it wouldn't be easy for her to work with them. They are the constant reminder of those she knew from her reality; they are supposed to be dead. Sheppard exhaled loudly, not really sure what to say to this woman, who has witnessed all his nightmares coming alive. "You are wrong about that," he managed in the end, earning a confused look. "Now that we'll know what we're dealing with, really dealing with…we can make this work," he stared deep into the darkened green eyes, searching for reassurance, for something…that would tell him she wants to make this work too.

Her eyes softened, small smile making its way onto her lips. "If you knew what you're dealing with, really, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now," she said and slowly nodded. "But I agree. Let's make it work."

Seeing the resolve written all over her face, he trusted those words instantly. "Now…what do we do to kick those bastard's asses?"

She chuckled. "McKay is working on that crystal. It's a chance _we_ have pretty much blown up. Maybe he'll be able to get something useful out of it. Then, we'll see. I also gave him what was left of our own research into boosting and adjusting the city's shield. If he finishes the work, we won't have to be afraid of any uninvited guests, darts, or _presents_."

"That's good to hear," Sheppard breathed out and watched JJ getting up. "Before you go," he blurted out and she stopped, looking back down on him. "I…couldn't help but notice that…well you were…friends right? You and…the me in your reality," he clarified.

"It would be easier to tell you who I wasn't really friends with," she deflected masterfully, but he was not about to let it slide.

"So…what did I do, that made you so angry at me? And by me I mean…him," he said and saw the immediate change of emotion on her face. "I'm not being curious or anything, it just…seemed to me, that we were somehow getting on well, until we returned from Earth…and by _we_ I mean…you know."

He noticed. Maybe he needed to open his eyes, finally, to notice the little things about her. And he did notice the change in her behavior towards him even from the short video. They obviously called each other familiarly unless on duty, yet the way she said _Colonel_ , was not a friendly one at all. And if he had doubts about this observation, he certainly had none now, seeing her reaction.

She was obviously considering the option of not answering to this, but after a moment of silence, she decided against it. "There are uh…two ways you can manage to anger me to the point I let it show, because usually, I'm well trained not to. When you pry into things I consider private and I don't want to talk about them, or when… _you_ act like…you. That one was obviously added during our first year in Pegasus. It'd be difficult to explain," she dismissed it when he was about to ask. "To answer your not-curious question, somehow you have… _he_ has managed to do both of it in a way that…would once _again_ , be difficult to explain. We were…not friendly with each other…until the very end of it," she added in a whisper.

He just nodded, not really wanting to go further into the matter that seemed to be bordering the said 'private and taboo' line with her. He realized he's crossed it tonight already with his little laptop stunt and seeing he was silently forgiven, he was not about to push his luck and break the fragile…friendship he managed to re-establish. He knew there was a story behind the regret in her voice, behind the anger that still remains in there as well, but he dared not ask for more.

"I'm sorry if I…acted hostile towards you, letting the anger out and on you. It was not meant for you and I should've known better," she said, meaning every word.

"Well technically speaking…" he started to argue.

"Don't," she stopped him, laughing. "Leave the technical stuff to McKay, I've had enough of you going all _I-could-have-been-Mensa_ on me."

He frowned at that and faking a hurt expression he turned away. "Yeah yeah, just go and get some rest. You'll need to be prepared for a whole new McKay tomorrow. Once he knows of all this, he'll turn…"

"…into a question machine and he, his ego and his curiosity will not leave my side for weeks. Ronon will remain silent and cautious no matter what, Keller will be indifferent and…Lorne will await your orders. I can imagine," she finished for him and turned to leave.

He found himself smiling, watching her go. For the first time in months, he felt hope coming back to him. The desire to go and kick some serious butts returning with it. He'll ask Ronon for a friendly spar tomorrow. Or maybe Lorn, he seemed way too sure of himself.

"Good night, JJ."

Waving at him nonchalantly with her left hand, not bothering to give him a single glance, she opened the door and left. "Night Sheppard," could be heard as the door closed, leaving the solitary man on the strange balcony.

He breathed in the fresh, salty night air and lay down, looking up to observe the clear skies above.

Maybe it will all turn alright after all.

* * *

_He looked up to see the Gate opening and frowned. He cannot leave Atlantis like this. This way everyone will be able to access the city anytime. Just like it happened already._

Everyone is dead.

_Leaving that thought, he searched for options on to control laptop. He should be able to activate the self-destruction mode. It's the best option. That way, no one will be able to enter the city even when using a space ship. Then again, he felt this decision is way beyond his authorization._

_Or it's the simple fact of not really wanting to destroy this city, that has been a home for him for all these years. A true home, with a true family._

_And now it's all gone._

_Remembering something, he looked up DHD blocking options. Yes. He can block the Gate's functions so unless someone knows his access code, the Gate will remain blocked to both Pegasus and Milky Way._

_Forever._

_Sticking with this scenario, he ran the program and watched the settings apply. He walked down the stairs slowly, almost hesitantly._

" _This is Sheppard. Yeah, just don't shoot me as I walk through," he spoke into the radio and stopping by the event horizon, he he was tempted to turn around and bid a silent farewell to this place he's never going to return to. But he didn't._

_And as he stepped through, the Gateroom fell into eternal darkness._


	12. The breaking point

"This is so not fair," McKay said slowly, suspiciously eyeing the woman sitting opposite of him in the briefing room. "You _knew_ all of this and and and..."

"Rodney!" Sheppard stopped him, before he went on one of his infamous all-day rants.

"Yes, McKay, I knew all of it and I know the all of you," Jade confirmed, getting slightly bored of the scientist's never-ending curiosity.

"Ha, that's not true," McKay chanted and smirked. "You know _them_ , not us. Eventually, we are the alternate versions of those you knew so you know nothing about us!" he pointed out.

Surprisingly for him, she matched his smirk with one of her own. "Do you want to put that to a test?" she quirked her eyebrows at him, daring him to ask for it.

The scientist didn't budge. "It's the truth! You don't know us, you don't know me! There's just…"

"You are, or rather claim to be, mortally allergic to citrus, you wanted to be a piano player when you were a little along with being an actor, you are scared of whales, because your father read you Moby Dick, you also continue to have nightmares where you get eaten by them, all the time. You constantly brag about yourself and your work, claiming to be able to win the Nobel's prize countless times over. Which brings me to your ego, which can be easily decoded from your master password containing birthdays of two greatest physicists, followed by _yours_ and finished with the ultimate answer to the meaning of life, which makes _me_ believe that as much as you claim to hate sci-fi, you have a thing for it anyway. Um…shall I continue? Cuz I'm just getting started…"

"No! No…um…point taken," McKay blurted out, his smirk gone, replaced with a thoughtful look, suspicion still present in his eyes.

"Don't you laugh, big man, I know your funny stories too," she said totally seriously, looking at Ronon, chuckling next to Rodney.

"Really?" McKay asked, his curiosity coming back to life again, looking at the Satedan with a smirk reborn.

Ronon mumbled something and seemed to have raised the white flag, which got her looking back at Sheppard. "Then maybe something about the Johnny flyboy Cash character over here?"

"Yeah, why don't we get serious here right about now," Sheppard immediately deflected, although he couldn't deny he was enjoying this. As much as you can enjoy watching that video again and having McKay go berserk into a scientific techno bubble mode about alternate universes.

"Shall we?" she said nodding approvingly, glancing sideways at Lorne, who immediately raised his hands in defense.

"By all means," he said quickly, watching her mild surprise turn into amusement.

"And by _we_ , you mean me," McKay said rolling his eyes. "Because while _you_ were watching a home video," he pointed at Sheppard, "I was working on extracting the data from the crystal _and_ I also finished that shield improvement," he smiled proudly.

"And by _you_ , you mean you _and_ your whole science team," JJ pointed out with a knowing smile.

"Nonetheless…it was still mostly me," McKay argued childishly.

"McKay!" Sheppard warned him.

"Right, I've upgraded the shield already, so I think we are fairly safe from any more surprise visits."

"You _think_?" Lorne repeated, sounding wary.

"I am _confident_ that not even our own Puddle Jumpers would make it through, which could eventually…turn out to be a problem at one point," McKay admitted. "Anyway, the point is, they are not getting through either."

"What about the crystals?" Sheppard asked impatiently

"I was getting there!" he snapped back. "I know where their base of operation is," he said smiling widely, earning all of their attention now.

"Really?" Sheppard asked.

"Where is it?" JJ asked, not wasting time.

McKay's smile disappeared. "Yeah um…"

"Rodney!" Sheppard pried for the info urgently.

"Lantea," he breathed out.

Sheppard frowned. "That's…here Rodney," he said slowly, watching McKay roll his eyes.

"No, no it isn't, Colonel Idiot!"

"Lantea is the former planet Atlantis was stationed on before the Asuran attack with the satellite," JJ answered for him.

Sheppard looked between McKay and JJ, his face doubtful. "You can't be serious. For all this time, they have been right _there_?"

"It's not like we have ever returned to that planet after we left, not even after returning from Earth. Now, without a Stargate it has become a favorable location, one we'd never suspect," Jade said, everything suddenly making sense to her.

"Yeah, why didn't they just arrive _here_ and established a base right on the mainland, now that would also be handy wouldn't it?" Sheppard said sarcastically.

"This seems to be an advantage for us; we know the layout of that place better than anyone," Lorne said, with quiet hope and resolve in his voice.

"I say we take Serenity for a spin again," JJ suggested. "By the way, anything about the mysterious leader of the Hybrids in there Rodney?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Nothing at all actually, they refer to him only as…leader," Rodney grimaced along with everyone else.

"Great, will have to find out about him the usual way," she decided and stood up to leave.

"Which is?" Sheppard asked curiously.

"Talking, Sheppard, using words," she replied, glancing back at him.

"Sure, as for the plan, I'll write it out and send it to you by the end of the day and tomorrow, we are heading out for the show," Sheppard announced and dismissed them. "McKay? Could you…" he said, motioning for the scientist to go with him to his office.

"What is it?" he asked, as he seated himself on the couch.

"Shouldn't I be asking that? What's up with _you_ lately?" Sheppard asked and remained standing behind his desk.

Rodney looked taken aback. "What…with me? What's up with you! You were all going nuts lately!"

"Yeah yeah, I know…I was just…never mind, I'm okay and…I'm sorry," he added, Rodney eying him with narrowed eyes.

"Hm."

"Well?"

"What?"

"What is your problem McKay?" Sheppard asked, sitting down.

"Nothing," he replied quickly.

"Rodney?" he pierced him with his serious look.

"It's…it's just…"

"What?" he asked patiently.

Rodney watched him curiously. "I didn't think anyone would notice…especially you…"

"Well I _did_ notice." Only he didn't and seeing now that something indeed was bothering the scientist, he could not feel guiltier for not observing earlier. "What is it?"

He sighed. "I was…I wanted to…" he stuttered again.

"Just say it Rodney!"

"I wanted to propose to Jennifer the night after the explosion!" he blurted out almost incoherently. "But Woolsey and Zelenka…and then the plague and the stalker and and and…"

Sheppard stopped him. "Hang in there Rodney, just don't hyperventilate on me here…you wanted to…as in…"

McKay rolled his eyes at him. "Yes! What else could I possibly mean by that? But with everything going crazy in here I just…I couldn't find the right moment."

"That's understandable Rodney. I…didn't know you and the doc were…well…"

"What?" McKay asked suspiciously.

"That far," Sheppard finished.

"Hm. It doesn't really matter now does it? Until this matter with the Hybrids is solved, I'm getting nowhere," he sighed.

"In that case, let's hope tomorrow _will_ solve that problem, once and for all," Sheppard replied reassuringly and watched his friend nod and leave the office.

* * *

After what she would almost describe as a lovely lunch, she headed down to her quarters to get some more rest. She has the nasty feeling that she will need all the strength she can get. And in that aspect, she hated her feelings for their usual accuracy.

Looking up, she saw two men exit the gym. "Why, don't you look…worn out," she teased, seeing Sheppard all sweaty with what appeared to be a nasty bruise on his left arm. His male company in the form of Colonel Lorne however seemed unfazed.

"Must be your imagination, I feel great!" Sheppard said with - what she calls - his infamous fake smile.

"Sure, sure."

"Where are _you_ off to?" he asked, stopping her, as she moved past them to continue the walk to her room.

"Bed," she answered simply.

"No, no no no. I don't think so," he said, smirking.

"Hm," she hummed curiously, cocking her head to the side, waiting for explanation.

" _I_ think, you are heading right for the armory, picking up a few random guns and joining _me_ in the shooting range in ten," he replied confidently.

"Oh am I now, that's strange. I could swear I wanted to sleep through the afternoon," she said, faking a thoughtful voice. "Do you just want to practice, or do you want to watch _me_ as I miss every single target so you'll feel less defeated after the round of beating Lorne has just put you through?" she observed and by his reaction immediately knew the answer. "Thought so," she smiled widely.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, now stop arguing with me and go get the guns. Be there in ten," he said resolutely and started off in the direction of his own quarters, probably to change clothes.

"Can I have a…curious question, ma'am?" Lorne asked, watching his CO running around the corner.

"You want to ask if I ever wanted to just…grab that Johnny Cash ass of his and kick him all the way back to the Milky Way?" she offered, watching his face turn into a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"I wouldn't really…put it _that_ way…"

She nodded and smiled. "I know. Aaaand yes. I wanted to do just that, far too many times to count. But in the end, I was satisfied with six hours a week of sparring," she smirked.

"I can definitely see why," Lorne chuckled.

"I'll just go and…pick a bazooka," she decided, earning a laugh from the Colonel.

"That'll teach him," Lorne nodded approvingly.

"See ya," she said and with a last glance at him, she went for the armory, leaving the Colonel alone in the corridor.

* * *

" _Colonel Sheppard? Sir? Colonel Sheppard!"_ he heard the urgent calls, but his brain was still half asleep.

Reaching for his earpiece he answered. "Unless this is an attack, or natural disaster…or Rodney, I'm going back to sleep, it's five in the morning!"

" _Sir, it's 7 AM already and there's someone here to see you."_

"Can't that someone just wait, I was about to wake up in ten minutes," he whined, looking at the alarm clock.

" _I'm afraid not, sir. It's the IOA, Mr. Coolidge just arrived through the Gate."_

Not that far away from a disaster after all…

"I'll be there in five."

* * *

"Mr. Coolidge," Sheppard addressed the man standing in his office, nodding at Rodney who was also present. "What brings you to our fair city so…early in the morning?" he dared to ask.

Coolidge grimaced. "I'm afraid I don't bring good news," he hinted and raised his eyebrows at something behind Sheppard. "Colonel Lorne, good, now that we are all here, I have an announcement to make."

Lorne glanced at Sheppard and remained standing next to him expectantly.

"We have received your report yesterday," Coolidge started. "Just let me get this one thing straight here, Colonel. You are about to invade a suspected enemy territory in search for the Hybrid's leader, using a possibly tempered piece of information thit…woman has provided you with?"

Sheppard frowned. " _We_ …are about to take our new Ancient warship to destroy the base of the Hybrid's operation using a piece of information acquired on our latest mission. _Jade_ has nothing to do with this, aside from the obvious…help…and the Ancient warship…and so on."

"And so on," Coolidge repeated, nodding thoughtfully. "Well that plan has been officially cancelled."

"Wait…what?" McKay was the quickest to react.

"The IOA considers this matter with the Hybrids quite important and agrees that they need to be dealt with. The sooner the better. But your approach to the matter is rather…rushed," Coolidge explained.

"Rushed?" Sheppard repeated, glaring at him. "Rushed…this is a one-time thing, maybe our one and only chance of getting close enough to get rid of their leadership, thus crippling their progress!"

"That may be so, but that doesn't need to concern you anymore," Coolidge said reassuringly, although it certainly didn't feel like it.

"Oh and why's that?" McKay asked sarcastically.

"Because as of right now, the IOA is taking the lead over the expedition."

McKay's jaw almost dropped, while Lorne seemed to be still processing the news.

"You are what?" Sheppard spitted out.

"The decision has been made, Colonel. I am here to put it into an immediate effect."

"You can't be serious; you have no idea what…" Rodney started.

"That will be all, Doctor McKay. You are dismissed," he stopped him with his hand gesturing towards the door.

McKay only stared at the man in utter disbelieve. He wanted to retort, but seeing the stern look on Sheppard's face, he decided to let it be and just leave.

"You are for now appointed my second in command, Colonel Sheppard, until the IOA decides what to do with you," he added.

Now it was Sheppard's turn to process the words and stare open-mouthed at the man. This is…so not good. He almost got the feeling of déjà-vu. No, he's definitely seen this before. And he's seen the results too.

Before he could say anything at all though, Coolidge sighed and continued. "You are dismissed as well, Colonel. Colonel Lorne, you will escort me to Mrs. Langford's quarters."

Lorne gave Sheppard a quizzical look, silently asking for something. Sheppard just gave him a small nod. But Lorne understood.

"This way, sir."

* * *

Setting the cup of tea next to her laptop, she watched the screen intently. It was never a waste of time to go over a plan multiple times. Sometimes even the best of plans didn't come together. And she has learnt the hard way to be prepared for those scenarios. Because being prepared meant, she can still gain the upper hand if something goes wrong. There was a time people would call her paranoid just because she was always waiting for the negative result when facing a situation and she would let them. She couldn't care less about what other people thought. Another lesson she'd learn.

Being a step ahead in a plan is never enough. Because your enemy, if not utterly stupid, would keep himself step ahead as well. So just like a game of chess, plan also needed to be well-played. And if you can't play the game, you will ultimately lose. And if you underestimate it, you've already lost.

She wasn't looking over the plan files Sheppard sent them yesterday. She was playing a game of chess she was masterfully able to download from the Atlantis's network. With Rodney's password, everything was rather easy to accomplish after all.

Jade announced chess to be boring when she was just a kid. Not because she'd be some sort of genius. She was a kid. And chess is not a particularly active game that can satisfy a little kid's craving for entertainment. She announced chess to be boring once more, when she was on high school. That's where she discovered the game to be dull for its limits and predictability.

As she stared at the screen, she knew for sure the game was indeed boring. There on the board, everything was mirrored. Every single move was repeated by the non-existent opponent. Until now. She moved the white queen forward to seize an opportunity the other player will not be able to copy. Because the simulated copy-cat game has reached its breaking point. The white queen consuming the black queen.

One could argue that no one would just copy the movements of the opponent like this, but that's not the point she wanted to make. She only wanted to prove that eventually, no matter how the game goes, the one who takes the first step will ultimately have the upper hand. The first move of the white piece is the one step that changes everything. It disturbs the order on the board. And there's no going back.

Just like with this plan.

The door swooshed open without warning, completely breaking her string of thought. Standing up and turning around she knew what was about to happen. She didn't need to read the seemingly emotionless face of Evan Lorne to know exactly what is going on. Just the very presence of _the_ James Coolidge was enough.

The first move has been made.

"Mr. Coolidge," she addressed him and enjoyed the slight surprise that displayed on his face.

"Jade Langford, correct?" he spoke, skipping any sort of greeting. She nodded at the useless question. "I see you have…made yourself at home. Good. I have come here to…"

"Tell me you are the new appointed leader of Atlantis, which is officially being led by the IOA now," she finished for him, seeing the surprise even clearer than before. "You don't need to waste your breath. If this is the case then we have nothing more to talk about. I will leave at once."

"I don't think so," he announced, finding his voice. "The IOA has decided that a throughout evaluation is in order, concerning you and your um…background. I can assure you that…"

"I have time for no such things as evaluation…or should I rather say interrogation? No I should rather say _you_ don't have the time to play _game of thrones_ in here. I can only tell you that the plan that I'm sure the IOA has dismissed completely will be carried out with or without the help of Atlantis."

"I don't think you quite follow what I am saying, Mrs. Langford. Because if you are suggesting that you will take the Ancient warship and leave at once, I'm afraid it is out of the question. We are both intelligent people and I'm sure we can benefit from our knowledge. I would be displeased if I had to use…force."

She had to suppress the great urge to laugh at that statement. Despite her effort a smirk spread on her face. "Come now, Coolidge. Force will not be necessary. I will follow Colonel Lorne to the brig voluntarily, if you insist so much."

Coolidge frowned and despite his earlier statement about their intelligence, it seemed to take a while before he caught up with her train of thought. "Very well then. Colonel, escort her to the holding cells."

"With all due respect, sir…" he started.

"Now, Colonel," he glanced at Lorne with a death-serious face. "Hopefully later you will understand my motives," he turned back at Jade.

She walked past him towards the door, followed closely by Lorne. "Oh I understood them for quite some time now, you don't need to bother."

* * *

"That went well," she commented sarcastically as they turned the first corner leading to the holding cells. "I imagine McKay must be going crazy and Sheppard is somewhere between furious and gone-berserk."

"Accurate assumption," Lorne replied, leading the way as they turned another corner. "Did you know the IOA will get in the way?"

"No I didn't."

"But?" he pried. "I hear the _but_ somewhere in there," he clarified as she gave him a curious look.

" _But_ it was one of the possibilities to take into an account."

"So you do have a plan then," he stated, no hint of question in his voice.

She smiled. "No, but I'm sure that _you_ do."

He glared at her. "How would you know?"

"Because this is not the way to the holding cells, but the way to the Jumper bay," she smirked and looked away. "So unless you want to lock me up in a Puddle Jumper or throw me out the top of the tower, I believe you have a plan."

"I _do_ have a plan," Lorne sighed, just as Cpt. Cadman and Lt. Rivers joined them in their stride.

"Laura, Colin, nice of you to join us," Jade acknowledged them and turned back to Lorne. "I'm dying to hear that plan of yours."

Lorne grinned. "We're taking the Jumper up to Serenity. The rest seems obvious."

She frowned at them. "You guys looking forward to being court-martialed after this?"

"No, why? You threatened everyone, took us hostage and forced your way out," Lorne explained.

"And how exactly did I do that?"

"You had a gun," Rivers offered.

"I did?" Jade asked curiously, just when Cadman handed her a nine mil. "Ah, you're right, I did. But so do you, you know," she said doubtfully.

Lorne came to a halt just outside the entrance to the bay and faced JJ. "What's _your_ idea then?"

"I'm a spontaneous person, I don't plan ahead that much," she said sarcastically and entered the bay, where only a few scientist were working on something along with two security guards. "Hi. Can I have your attention? Thank you. You see, I've taken these three fine soldiers hostage and I'm about to steal a Jumper and then I will steal the whole Ancient ship. Well technically I won't steal it, because it's mine."

"It isn't," Lorne whispered.

"Anyway, I stole it first so…"

He nodded. "Ah, okay."

"As I was saying, I'm taking the Jumper. I'd very much appreciate if you could wait after we take off and then you can go out screaming that a crazy woman ganked a Jumper and took Lorne's team hostage. Thank you for your cooperation," she beamed a smile at the stunned personnel and headed for the first Jumper she spotted.

The two security guards glanced at Lorne quizzically, so he waved them off. "It's just like she says." They still looked a little taken aback, but acknowledged the silent order with a nod.

"How was she able to take all three of you hostage?" a curious male scientist at the Jumper's entrance asked.

"Um…" Lorne started.

"I had a gun," JJ shouted from the front of the Jumper. "And I know Tai chi. Wouldn't stand a chance. Are you coming or what?"

"Heard the lady, let's go," Lorne ordered and let Cadman and Rivers enter first, leaving the still puzzled science team behind.

* * *

McKay watched the roof exit open and smirked. Just as Sheppard suspected, Lorne is taking the action. So here he was ensuring no one will notice. Especially the man exiting Sheppard's office.

"Oh, Doctor McKay, please be sure to call for a senior staff meeting for this afternoon, I believe we will have a lot to discuss. Also, you should send this memo, so everyone…"

"Sir!" Banks called out, standing up from her post.

They turned to see what she was watching - a group of people being beamed in front of the Gate.

"This is…that's our team from Serenity," she clarified mainly for Coolidge.

"I don't understand…what happened?" Coolidge asked the slightly disoriented Serenity staff.

"Sir, a Jumper has been stolen moments ago," a security guard said, coming hurriedly from the bay's direction.

Coolidge watched them in confusion for a moment, but recovered quickly. "Colonel Lorne, come in? Colonel Lorne!"

Instead of Lorne, JJ spoke up. " _I'm afraid Colonel Lorne can't answer you, I'll be borrowing the good Colonel and his team for the time being. Once my mission is carried out, I'll return them to you. See ya!"_

"Serenity is entering the hyperspace!" Banks informed.

"What in the world has happened in there?" Coolidge yelled.

"She's come barging into the bridge, having Lorne's team hostage and announcing she's taking the ship. She beamed us all down then," one of the marines answered.

Coolidge closed his eyes, sighing deeply. "Call Colonel Sheppard in, right now!" he barked at McKay and left for the office.

At that precise moment, the Gate activated.

"Unauthorized offworld activation," Banks announced and stared intently at the screen, waiting for an IDC.

"Raising the shield," McKay said, activating the Gate shield. "Nothing yet?"

"Nothing at all," she answered and looking down at the Gate her eyes widened.

"What the…" McKay blurted out in surprise watching the Gate security taken aback as well, glancing up at them awaiting orders. "That can't be…"

Someone stepped through the Gate.

Someone they knew very well.


	13. An old friend

"This baby is the _shit_ ," Cadman smiled looking around the bridge.

Jade chuckled from where she stood by the window. "Ancients loved travelling in style. And so do I."

"Sweet," Cadman exclaimed, glancing at her. "We are few minutes away, you guys ready?"

Rivers shrugged. "I dunno. Do we have any idea what will awaits us there? Any idea at all?"

Jade pierced him with a doubtful look. "Isn't that quite obvious?" she smirked, watching his confused gaze.

"It is far too obvious," Lorne spoke up, appearing fully in the entrance. "Hybrids, Rivers. There's gonna be a bunch of ugly ass zombie Hybrids," he clarified, glancing sideways at Jade, who offered him none of the acknowledgement he expected to see in her eyes. On the contrary the dark green pits to her soul remained indifferent.

"Hybrids, right," River smiled at his own mistake and moved to stand behind Cadman, watching the window ahead expectantly.

Lorne watched the passing light flashes of the hyperspace for a while, hypnotized by the wheezing colors. He all too suddenly broke off the unfocused stare and looked pointedly at the alternate version of a woman he feels he should know well, yet knowing she was never born to this universe, he can't quite understand this strange feeling of familiarity.

Maybe it was the alternate version of _himself_ that convinced him of such a feeling. She obviously knew a lot about the all of them, having spent years with their alter selves, but for some reason, he feels like _he_ should know the lot about her as well.

McKay was right - not that he would ever want to admit it to the scientist - it is so unfair.

"Thousand dollars for your thoughts, Colonel?" she asked, her deep voice bringing him back from his musings.

He looked away, not able to bear the calculating stare. Although he could swear that he was doing nothing else himself just a second ago - staring at her, trying to see all that she chose to hide from them. And then he remembered.

"Why…why thousand dollars? I believe it goes with just a penny," he thought out loud and once again returned her gaze.

She frowned for a second as if trying to remember herself. "Penny…" she scoffed. "I value another person's thoughts much more than that. Especially if I can't deduce them first myself," she added.

He nodded. Clearly _he's_ not hearing this explanation for the first time. "I was thinking…should I be concerned seeing you so quiet?"

"Why, do I strike you as _the_ talker?" she asked with hints of genuine amusement.

"Yes…actually," he said resolutely although frowning. Did he really believe that?

And here it was again, back was the unreadable mask that concealed everything of importance on her face. She looked away and smiled beautifully. "He who does not understand my silence, will probably not understand my words." _*_

"Try me," he whispered, his eyes suddenly determined.

"Why?" she chuckled.

"Because there is no failure except in no longer trying," he smirked victoriously, as she recognized the words, her façade softening.

"If I tell you what I was thinking now, shall we just call the thousand bucks even? I'm afraid I'm a little low on cash at the moment."

"Fine by me."

She took a deep breath. "I was thinking…how the smallest of things can in the end change so much. I always thought there was nothing I could do to…change what happened. But we had this chance too. It presented itself. And we missed it… _I_ missed it. Seeing the history repeat itself, more or less, I realized that there are things I cannot simply observe and act upon. That for all this time, all I've ever known and learned, all I believed and relied on, was useless."

No wonder her eyes are so distant that no one can reach them, when they are constantly fixed upon something beyond this very universe. Just like her thoughts - they all start and end up in _there_. Always. "That's not true," he stated, no hint of doubt or forced persuasion in his voice.

She chuckled darkly. "Isn't it?"

"I know this may not really be any consolation for you because…you feel like you don't belong here…"

"I don't," she offered hastily.

"And yet here you are…risking your life to save people you don't even know. And before you recite my biography to me, if you truly disconnect from this reality, if you really believe that you are so alien to it, then you also have to admit that despite all your knowledge, you do not know us and McKay was right, you only know them. But that is not true either. You might have chose to come here, to observe and learn and be…invisible, nonexistent as _the you_ in this reality is, but your actions leading up to this point were not of a stranger…but a friend. You might have not been able to save our lives in your reality, but you sure as hell did a good job in this one. And whether you care or not, this is the truth," he spoke silently yet vehemently.

Her lips slightly parted, as if she wanted to say something, but no words made it through.

Lorne smiled. "See, you _do_ care."

A small smile of her own made its way on her face as she looked down, shaking her head. "This always annoyed me so much," she mumbled.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"You…," she answered simply and watched the Colonel frown at her. "Anyway…the day is not saved yet. There is still one particular butt we need to kick first before I call it a win."

"We are dropping out of hyperspace!" Cadman announced.

Lorne wanted to pry for more, but the sight outside the window stopped his racing mind altogether. "What the…"

"Oh my… _god_!" Cadman grimaced and stood up.

"Get the shield up Cadman!" Lorne ordered moving past JJ, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Wait. Look," Jade calmly instructed and pointed ahead with her other hand.

There, hovering above what once used to be Lantea, were Hive ships, too many to count. Lorne looked back to observe the intimidating sight, but couldn't really see anything past the obvious imminent treat.

"The engines," JJ said, seeing he is not getting it. "They are all off. The Hives are just…parked in here, there's probably no one on board any of those. If there was, we would be under some heavy fire right now."

"Makes sense," Rivers commented. "This however doesn't, come have a look. If this is supposed to be the Hybrid's main hideout, something is not right."

"What am I looking at?" Lorne asked, observing the console Rivers activated.

"The life signs detector," Jade whispered and paused.

"Must be broken then," Cadman offered as she approached them to see for herself.

"No it's not," Jade answered and gave Lorne a thoughtful look.

Cadman shook her head. "There are just five of them, five friggin' Hybrids occupying the base on the mainland and all of these Hives? No way!"

"We need to go down and scout for just a moment. I think I know what happened," JJ announced out of nowhere. "And I have this feeling that Mr. Coolidge is not a happy camper right now."

* * *

He woke up to the strangely familiar sound of light buzzing and even before he opened his eyes only to be blinded by the surrounding lights, he knew where he was instantly.

The Atlantean holding cell.

He tried to remember what happened, but his mind was backfiring on him. He could swear he was in his room, doing practically nothing. Yet here he was, for a reason his memory doesn't want to reveal to him.

"You awake Sheppard?" he heard a deep voice ask and despite his light nausea spun his head around to spot Ronon standing at the other side of the cell.

He nodded and sat up. "The hell happened?"

"Hybrids," Ronon summarized it and nodded at something ahead of him.

Looking at the direction, he could see two Hybrids guarding the entrance. "Damn," he cursed under his breath and tried to imagine what exactly transpired in the city. "Where's everyone?"

"No idea."

"Great, just great. My guess is the Hybrids are swarming the city in full force…JJ's gonna be pissed once she finds out they missed the party."

"Actually," a familiar voice spoke, "I am also a bit irked that I've missed the one person I came here to meet in the first place."

Sheppard froze. That couldn't be. But judging by the look on Ronon's face, it most definitely was. He turned around only to see exactly who he has expected. It did not lessen the shock a single bit though.

"You…" he whispered and watched the other man's smile wickedly at him.

"Me personally, Sheppard."

* * *

"You got anything?" Lorne asked JJ, who was currently occupied with searching through wooden boxes on the other side of the simple room.

"Garbage. Trash. And more garbage. For a headquarters, this certainly is a primitive settlement," she answered and threw a stack of cloth aside. "Cadman, are you done?" she spoke into the radio.

" _Two more, ten minutes tops," came the reply._

"Good. Because this was a gigantic waste of time," Jade stated and closed the box, irritated.

"Do you think they knew we were coming and left?" Lorne spoke up and moved over to her.

"No. It may look like it, but I believe their relocation had nothing to do with our arrival at all. They planned it. And eventually, there's only one place they could've gone. Only one other place they would consider a better hideout."

Lorne understood immediately. "Atlantis," he voiced his thoughts and cursed mentally. "We have some bad luck, coming all this way to get them just to find they are all in the city now."

"Bad luck?" JJ frowned. "This is not a bad luck, Evan. Quite the opposite actually. Judging by the lack of incoming message, that would inform us of the Hybrid attack, they must've taken over the city quickly, not giving a single person the chance to call for help. I doubt they had a chance to fight either. If we were still back in the city now, we would be in just as much trouble as everyone is in right now. Bur being here, we can now go back and attempt a rescue," she explained and watched the Colonel grimace.

" _Attempt_ being the key word. The Hybrid's full force is in the city, let's just pretend for a while that there's just hundred of them - but we both know that that is quite the underestimation - how exactly do you plan a rescue with nothing more but four people?" he asked almost desperately, but all he got was an amused smile. "What?"

"My my…four people? No," JJ said disapprovingly.

"Do you have a hidden army of ten thousand hidden somewhere?"

"Not at all. I plan to use no more but two people for the rescue," she said, smiling even more.

Lorne sighed. Again, there was this urgent feeling that he should already know what her plan is. In a way, he already knew what the nature of that plan is. Judging by the fact, that she would consider climbing up the control tower for fun a wonderful idea, this plan of hers must be no further away from suicidal as well.

No wonder she and Sheppard were friends. Their thinking when it comes to military action is identical. How they didn't manage to kill themselves sooner was beyond him.

"Right, two people, of course, why didn't I think of that," he said sarcastically.

"Don't worry, I do plan to use more people to secure the place, but the rescue itself will need no more. In fact, right now there are just two people that I can use at all."

"Why do I have the bad feeling that one of those two is me."

"Because it _is_ you," she smirked at him, but suddenly her face returned back to serious. "This needs to be handled perfectly, one single mistake, and we're dead, along with everybody in the city."

"I am dying already from all the suspense, what's the damn plan?" he demanded to know.

"Sit tight and listen carefully, do not forget a single word. This will take a while to explain," she said and paused, thinking the plan over again in her mind.

"I'm all ears."

* * *

"The ship has just dropped out of hyperspace," a hybrid said, sitting behind the main console of the control room.

"Finally. Our honored guests. Anyone with them?"

"Not yet."

"Fools," he whispered. "Keep me posted about the situation, I have a happy reunion to attend. Also initiate our secondary plan. Once we're done here, we can waste no time for the necessary preparations."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

The white light of a beam pierced through the darkness of the hallway and in a the following second died away as Lorne and JJ both appeared at the spot.

"How long before they come?" Lorne whispered.

"A minute, tops. You ready?"

"No!" he admitted sounding almost annoyed. "I still think we are going to die a long painful death."

"Your constant lack of trust in my plans used to give me headaches," she rolled her eyes at him, but her voice held neither harshness nor disappointment.

"Okay, okay!" he said defensively. "It's a brilliant plan, we're all gonna live, the day will be saved and we'll live happily ever after. Happy now?"

"No, but it definitely sounds better than a long painful death."

"Here they come!" Lorne warned, watching the life signs detector.

"Just when I thought they never would," she whispered almost to herself, but immediately focused at the task at hand.

They turned around simultaneously and backed against each other, both aiming at a different direction, from where the Hybrids were coming.

"Five says you gonna go down first," Lorne challenged and earned a low chuckle.

"Now that's the spirit I know. _Ten_ says you will get more of them, but _you'll_ go down first anyway."

"Deal."

The doors didn't even manage to open half way when the first shots pierced the air.

Jade managed to send three of the Hybrids down with her blaster, not really killing them, since she didn't strike the head, before she missed, the sneaky fourth Hybrid making it past the doorway into a dark corner sending a stun shot her way. She didn't really have any way to take cover or move away, since that would only have Lorne hit, so it ended up hitting her straight in the chest, sending her rolling down to the floor, seemingly unconscious, because the next second she only rolled over and crouched, fully awake, sending a second way of red energy bolts in the doorway's direction.

Meanwhile Lorne was pilling up the Hybrids by the door equally successful, his G36 busy with shooting every single one of them down, most of them not even making it past the door. He kept on shooting blindly, yet successfully, until two stun shots came his way and sent him to the floor.

"Just proving a point here, guys," Jade mumbled to no one in particular, seeing Lorne go down. Lowering her gun and standing up straight, she made no effort to dodge or defend against the hail of stun shots aimed well at her from both sides of the hallway.

* * *

When she came to, she was met with Sheppard's face, frowning from where he crouched next to her.

"Let me guess, whatever your crazy plan was, it didn't go very well," he said, helping her to sit up.

"You could say that," she nodded and glanced around, spotting the unconscious form of Lorn laying on the floor few feet away with Ronon standing nearby. "Hey Ronon," she greeted him. "You guys know what happened?"

"Our guess is probably not any different from the one you made. Hybrids took over the city. They apparently used the fact that McKay _forgot_ to install the shield upgrades for the Gate shield," Sheppard explained.

"Way to go Rodney," she murmured. "Where is everybody else?"

"Probably scattered among the other holding cells and kept locked somewhere, I'd say mess hall. Haven't seen any of them. I still don't even know how I got here in the first place."

"I see," she said thoughtfully, trying to fit the information with what she suspected.

Just as Sheppard opened his mouth to speak again, the two guards opened the cell and came in, grabbing JJ by both hands and howling her to her feet.

"Hey! Be gentle, being almost stunned to death is not compatible with harsh handling so early on!" she complained to her captors, who just ignored her and shoved her forwards to the exit. "Am I meeting the boss now? I'm literary dying to."

"JJ there's something you should know…," Sheppard started, but was met with a kick to the stomach, sending him down.

"Shut up!" one of the guards shouted at him and leaving the cells, he closed it once again and continued to drag the now slightly confused woman further down the corridor, heading south to no direction in particular.

Jade had to admit that the tone of Sheppard voice as he tried to tell her something was beyond unsettling. She knew where she was being taken, at least she knew who will she meet, the location bearing no real importance. The leader of the Hybrids himself. The one person…thing…she was searching for the past year of her life. With her here, destroying most of his plans so far, she knew he must be just as desperate to meet her.

Did Sheppard meet him already? The slight urgency to his voice certainly encouraged that idea. But the way he said it…almost as if he actually knew who that person was. As if it almost…surprised him. No. That wasn't surprise. That was fear.

Her fingers curled up in a fist, her nails digging deep. A sign of high alert and focus in her body language. If Sheppard felt at least a half of the fear she sensed in his words, it was more than enough to convince her to concentrate and definitely not underestimate whoever the leader was.

Passing through more corridors a single transporter and a few more corridors, she now also knew where she was meeting her life's nemesis. The southern pier. And as the door swooshed open, she spotted a single darkened figure standing by the railing. It was night time and so the only thing she could see was a silhouette she could not recognize.

The door closed behind her, the guard leaving her alone, probably staying on the other side to guard the only exit in case she attempted escape.

An uncomfortable silence settled in and for the first time in a long while, she waited. Her mind void of anything, completely clear, ready to hear every single word, every single sound the person on the other side of the pier will make.

The person in question moved just then, turning slightly around, as if to briefly observe her form. "So this is the source of my constant failure in everything I attempted the last few month? How disappointing, just when I thought you're some sort of…all knowing Ancient slash God persona, I find that you are very much mortal and eventually extremely dull."

He didn't have to make those few steps forward, so his face light up fully by the nearby lamp. His voice was all she needed to recognize the man in front of her. And the recognition made her blood freeze.

"So tell me, General Jade Langford, did you fail to stop my plans in your reality a well? Because the history is about to repeat itself," he smirked at her, enjoying her horror stricken face, currently betraying many emotions.

She stared at him dumbfounded, almost not finding her voice to speak up for the very first time in her life. Almost.

" _Ford_ …?"


	14. Learning from the past

"In flesh and blood," Ford smirked and watched her shocked face harden until no emotion could be seen.

She was thinking. Faster than ever before. Trying to put every single piece of the once unknown puzzle together. Ford was alive – check. For some reason he seized the opportunity to take over Michael's experimentation – check. And for some reason, the Hybrids agreed to that – check. And he was succeeding in his plans – whatever they are.

She stared him down, inspecting the alternate version of what once was her teammate. He didn't change much since the last time they met. Apart from the one fact that he is now standing on the other side of the barricade.

He held her gaze, daring her to observe him. And she was trying to do just that. He was difficult to read though and she knew that he was aware of that fact.

"Why are you doing this?" she decided to ask in the end.

"Doing what?" he deflected and stepped a little closer.

"You know what I mean," she said resolutely, not letting him take control.

He frowned. "And you also know the answer. You know how this works. You are a diplomat after all."

She mirrored his frown. How can he know all that? He even called her by her name. Did he see the video? Or maybe...

"And you should stop interrogating McKay, you know it stresses him to the point of hyperventilation," she scolded him.

Ford shrugged. "He was mostly forthcoming though, sharing everything he knew about you."

"You should be careful about that. McKay's survival abilities, if pushed to the limits, can easily turn against you."

"I am not afraid of McKay," he dismissed it with a smile.

"Did you turn him into a Hybrid then?" she asked, not really wanting to know the answer though.

He scoffed. "Oh please, why would I do that? I can easily get everything I want from him without taking such drastic measures, no, I am saving this occasion for something more special such as…the arrival of my 'nemesis'," he smiled wickedly at her. "I should be thanking you, you know?"

"Is that so?"

"Of course. My original plan was to destroy Atlantis," he explained.

"The only possible threat to your intentions," she added for him.

"Just so. But come on, wouldn't that be a waste? It would and you helped me realize that. I spent a lot of time thinking, while you were destroying my every single effort. And in the end I realized I could make much better use of Atlantis and its personnel…once they see things my way."

She nodded. Just as she suspected her interference made him push forward his work on the virus and complete it earlier. So he could put it to an immediate use.

On Atlantis. On them.

"You understand now, don't you," he voiced his observation.

"Why didn't you come back?" she asked, suddenly changing the subject. "If you survived the destruction of the Hives, why didn't you contact Atlantis, I'm sure you would be able to find a way to do that."

He chuckled darkly. "Right, I wonder how _that_ would go for me. Holding cells, medical experiments or Atlantis's favorite - sending security risks through the Gate into the vast of space? Or maybe a package deal of all of the above. Jadie, you are an intelligent woman, so are you trying to stall for something with such stupid questions?"

She wanted to argue that he was wrong. That they would help him should he return. But she knew better. She knew what IOA would do.

"Your silence betrays your intentions. I am not stupid you know. I'm certain your surprisingly outnumbered attack must serve some sort of cause. There's no way you would try to launch a rescue mission with just two people and think you'd be successful so naturally there must be an ulterior motive," he deduced and smirked at the still silent woman. "Once again, your silence speaks for yourself."

She chuckled suddenly. "Exactly. My silence indeed speaks for me. But there is just one person that understands it. And that person is dead. So…" she paused and turning her head around, she looked up to the city towering above the ocean.

Ford frowned at the action and just as he was about to ask, a humming sound reached his ears and in a split of a second the city fell into darkness. "What th-"

He wasn't allowed to continue as a fist collided with his face, both the force and the surprise of the incoming blow knocking him off his feet. He quickly recovered, rolling away just in time to avoid the assailant's kick. Getting on his feet, he adjusted his eyes to the darkness, which wasn't all that difficult in his Hybrid boosted state, to spot Jade standing over the space he just left.

Shaking his head he scoffed. "Wrong move."

The door broke open and the guardian Hybrid entered the pier. Jade eyed them both quickly and improvised a plan. Forgetting about Ford altogether she darted towards the other Hybrid and just as swiftly and forcefully tackled him to the ground, grabbing onto his head and with a snap breaking it.

Just as she got back to her feet and readied herself for an attack she was expecting from the back she felt a burning pinch in her left shoulder. Immediately reaching there to inspect the damage, she pulled out what seemed to be a small iron dart. Staring at it for a while she suddenly looked up to meet the victorious face of Ford. Her eyes widened.

"No bloody way…" she breathed out, her voice cracking up.

Ford lowered a small hand gun, which probably shot the dart and chuckled. "I told you. I was saving the occasion for something special."

She stared wordlessly at him, her breath quickening. Cursing mentally she threw the dart away almost angry and started off in Ford's direction. She came to a halt few feet away from him though, falling to the ground with a pained cry. "Son of a…" she spitted out through gritted teeth and groaned.

"It was nice meeting you, Jade Langford. But you cannot be allowed to continue your little sabotage," he said, moving to her fallen form and crouching next to her. "Goodbye."

* * *

"Well, that was useless," Sheppard sighed and watched Ronon as he was still trying to push the holding cell door open in no vain. "Was there any plan behind this at all?" he turned to Lorne, who just shrugged.

"How would I know? She is not one to explain her plans, you should know that the best. This was meant to cripple them; they won't be getting the power back online in few more hours so I'm guessing we'll have to take our chances and use to commotion to think something up or wait for others to come. Opening standard doors should be a piece of cake."

"I guess," Sheppard said thoughtfully. "Did you two really just come down having no plan at all?"

"No, of course not. Cadman and Rivers are on their way to gather with the Travelers. They will help us with both their Hives and their soldiers."

"That's still a lame plan if you ask me," Sheppard whispered.

"It's all that we have, we can't let the Hybrids get the city, get us and get to the Earth, even if we'll have to destroy the city in the process," Lorne reasoned.

Sheppard have him a tired look and sighed again. "You are right…but let's not think of the worst just yet. We still have a chance."

"Chance for what, exactly?" a voice ringed through the dark room and suddenly a bright light blinded the three prisoners. "The blackout gave you exactly nothing, I already have McKay working on the problem," Ford said, revealing himself and two other Hybrids carrying some sort of circular flashlight.

"Look, Ford, you don't have to do this," Sheppard tried.

"Yes I do. This way we'll finally be together again. Now isn't that what you always wanted? For me to come back? Well here I am Sheppard and we will soon be one big _happy_ family."

"No we won't, not this way! You know that!"

" _You_ know…that if I returned after I escaped from the Hives I would be locked up and put down. I know far too well what a 'help' means in your dictionary, Sheppard!"

"We would be able to help you; in time you would get off of the enzyme and be just fine!" Sheppard argued.

"Fine? That's funny, I've been feeling quite alright lately," Ford replied sarcastically. "Better actually."

"Right, faster better stronger…and so on," Sheppard rolled his eyes at him.

"Yes. And soon, you will also feel the same. This is evolution Sheppard. You can't stop it, and you can't stop me. And your alternate friend…well she is reconsidering her priorities already. Aren't you, Jade?" he asked turning around, his gaze searching for something in the dark.

"Reconsidering? I think I'm already done with that," her low voice sounded from behind him and soon her form appeared in the light, standing next to Ford. "I say we move to chapter two of this story," she suggested and eyed the prisoners.

Sheppard frowned. Something in that voice…that smile…made him uncomfortable. Did he…did he really…

"Son of a bitch," Lorne muttered as he moved to stand next to Sheppard, whose thoughts he unknowingly voiced for him.

"Whoa, watch you language Colonel. I think you are quite right Jade, we should move on. So what do you say, Sheppard. You up for it? Faster, better, stronger…," he smirked, but flinched as Ronon smashed his hands against the bars.

"Let me outta here and I'll take my chances," Ronon growled and stared him down.

Ford returned the stare and continued to smile wickedly. "Don't worry big fella, once I'm done with you, we'll be best of friends."

"How about we start with _this_ one," JJ suddenly spoke up, nodding in Lorne's direction.

Ford gave her a side glance and raised his brows curiously. "The good Colonel Lorne? Why?"

She looked straight at Lorne, her eyes strange and unfamiliar. "Well the blackout was his fault. He's got this gadget hidden in his left shoe, some sort of Ancient EMP bomb it is. Quite handy actually."

Lorne sighed through gritted teeth and shrugged. "That was all _your_ plan, you know?"

"What do I say…my plan or not, I think you should be…awarded," she smiled almost evilly.

Ford chuckled. "Very well. The lady favors you, so who am I to oppose?" he smiled towards Jade and waved at the two other Hybrids. "Take him."

* * *

"You don't under…well of course you don't understand, you're an idiot! I can't just flip a switch on and expect the power to get back on, now can I? Whatever caused this made sure I won't be able to do that! So you can watch me with your best intimidating stare as much as you like, but it will not speed up the process! In fact…it may even be slowing it down!"

"Heh, I see you are once again in your spirit McKay," Ford said, deciding to step into the scientist's rant.

"Look, I really can't get the power back I'm sorry, okay?" he said desperately.

"Sure, it's okay, I don't really need it," Ford shrugged.

"Are you sure? I mean…how will you communicate with all those Hives you've lined up back on Lantea?" Jade asked entering the Gate room as well, shortly followed by Lorne.

"Ah, so you know about my little plan with those too…"

"Jade what are you…Colonel? Why are you…oh don't tell me you…" he paused pointing a finger at Ford accusingly.

"Yes I did," he admitted and sat down in a nearby chair.

"Oh god…," Rodney sighed and he, too, sunk back into his chair. "Great, that's just great…"

"How did you found out about the Hives?" Ford asked Jade, ignoring the panicking scientist.

"I didn't, not really. I just guessed you must have some plans for them. Why go through all the trouble of confiscating them if you would just leave them be in the end," she explained.

"Nice deduction. You are quite right."

"So what is it that you plan? I don't really observe that well so excuse me if I'm not joining your smart ass debate," Lorne said.

"Simply put, I know that sooner or later the…Serenity will be back with bunch of Traveler friends. And their priority will be to destroy Atlantis so we will not be able to reach the Earth. So I planned ahead to save them the trouble. By the time they arrive, we will be gone, but Earth will be far from safe though."

"You're sending those Hives to Earth?" Jade asked almost in disbelieve.

"That's kindda cool," Lorne stated.

"It is," she admitted and nodded. "How many Hybrids are in here really? We thought that since Lantea is abandoned and the Hives empty all of you were here."

"We were, but right now, ninety percent of my soldiers are already on those Hives and on their way to the Milky Way," Ford smirked. "It's really not necessary to have so many soldiers here. Once the rest of the personnel is turned just like you were."

"True," Jade smiled and eyed Rodney. "Still, I'd continue with the…turning asap and start with the good doctor over here. I was not kidding when I said he can be dangerous."

"Dangerous? Me? Oh, come on!" Rodney whined in defense, standing up and backing against a console. "I'm harmless, totally harmless!"

"Yes, McKay, you are. And I know that if I use the right arguments, you will do anything I want. But I can't risk that big smart brain of yours coming up with some kind of master plan," Ford said and pulled out his dart pistol.

"Why don't you let me," Lorne stepped up reaching for the pistol. "This guy was annoying the hell out of me for five years. Payback time," he whispered.

Ford smirked and handed him the gun. "Enjoy yourself, Lorne."

McKay's eyes widened and he stuttered. "Oh…come on…Colonel…it's not my fault I'm so smart!"

Ford chuckled. "You'll never learn, McKay."

Lorne raised his eyebrows and glanced sideways at Jade. "Seriously? Jade can I shoot him for real, please?" he pleaded, but his voice was different.

"Well…let's spare him this time," Jade said and watched the stunned face of the scientist.

"What?" Ford frowned, not understanding at all.

Jade looked back at him and in one swift motion pulled out her blaster, which was once again in her waist holster. "As for you though…," she said slowly, raising her eyebrows in thought.

"What's going on?" Ford shouted and moved closer, only to be shot in the leg by the red blast.

"You called yourself intelligent so…guess," Jade dared him and looked back at McKay. "Rodney, I need you to get the power on."

Rodney looked between them in utter confusion, but nodded. "Give me ten minutes."

"Five," Jade bargained.

"Eight!" McKay joined in.

"Fine…eight and I want the secondary systems up and running as well," she offered.

"You got it," he replied and was already working hastily on the main computer.

"All doors are sealed for now," Lorne informed as he climbed the stair back up.

"Good," she nodded.

"Why aren't you…how is this possible?" Ford spitted through gritted teeth.

"That's a long story," she shrugged. "Okay, I guess we have time. What do I say, you were right. People never learn. Not until they get stabbed in the back by their own mistakes and failures. And even then, some will not learn still. But you see, I'm being stabbed with the failure of my past every single second since I came into this reality. Reality so similar to my own. There's just no way I could let the history repeat itself, Ford, no way," she whispered.

"Why didn't you turn," Ford mumbled interrupting her.

"I've learned from the past. And in the past, you failed to perfect the virus the first time around. Its structure was recognized as a threat by the Ancient gene in one's DNA and before it could take over the body eventually dispatched an anti-virus to counter and neutralize it," she explained, watching Ford's eyes widened in realization. "I also knew you wouldn't go for Atlantis unless the virus was completed this far, so I took my chances of you failing again and based my whole plan on this high possibility, letting me and Lorne be captured so I could finally get to you. Since then it was easy."

"There are still enough soldiers in the city, you can't fight all of them. Besides, they are holding the Atlantis's personnel hostage. You won't risk their lives," Ford observed.

She nodded. "Of course I won't. Why do you think I used the EMT bomb in the first place? Well, of course it served as a bluff, to make you think I had a plan when I came down here and that plan just failed. But apart from the obvious, I needed the life signs scanner offline for number of reasons. Mainly because the scanner can differentiate between human and Hybrid DNA and thus it would reveal me as not being turned and spoil the whole plan immediately. Also, without being able to check on the life sings in the city, you could hardly realize I had Cadman beam up all the Atlantis's personnel up as soon as Lorne was 'turned'. Your guards don't really expect the prisoners to vanish into thin air, so they don't even check if they are still there."

"There are still about hundred Hybrids in the city!" Ford tried to argue nonetheless.

"And I am about to rid of them in one go. In Atlantis's favorite - as you put it - way of disposing security threats," she stated.

"What, you gonna make them go through the Gate to meet their death? Good luck with that!"

"There are things out of our control you know," she said, her voice softened. "Things we cannot stop from happening no matter how we try to. Mistakes we later regret. You were right. I failed to stop you in my reality and your plan succeeded. You got an army of loyal zombie Hybrids made of half of the Pegasus and Milky Way population. And there was nothing I could do about it. Because I failed. But it's not over yet, you know," she said, stepping closer to him.

"It's not like you can return and apply this ridiculous plan again!"

"No. But now I know who I'm dealing with. And I know exactly how to deal with a delusional arrogant man, who believes himself to be doing the two galaxies a favor by enslaving them in their own minds. I'm not dealing with Aiden Ford. I'm dealing with a Hybrid who has also forgotten who he used to be. And there's no turning back. Aiden Ford died that day he fell down into the ocean with a bloody Wraith feeding on him. But that never stopped your friends from searching for you, trying to help you, bring you back. In the end friends are all we have left when the whole world stops believing in who we are. And Ford would know this."

Silence settled in the room, as they looked into each others eyes in attempt to see their very soul. Lorne stood in the back, with his own gun aimed at Ford, but watched Jade with a frown.

McKay cleared his throat. "I got it," he informed and the lights suddenly came up, consoles coming to life with silent buzzing.

"Run the scanner McKay," Lorne commanded when Jade didn't speak up.

"Right. Um…here," he offered, the screen behind them lighting up to reveal the city map with life sings scattered all over it. All of them were displaying red, all but three.

"Cadman?" Jade finally spoke, tapping her earpiece.

" _Yes, ma'am?"_

"Rodney is sending you life signs scanner data right now," she informed giving Rodney a look of do-as-I-say. "Lock on all of the dots looking red and beam them up."

" _Beam them where?"_

Jade glanced at Ford and paused. "Orbit."

" _Oh, okay."_

"This is not the end. My army has orders; it will take over the Earth in no time."

"Exactly, **no** time. The second those Hives fired up the hyperdrive, they exploded to bits and pieces. Courtesy of hyperdrive physics and bunch of well placed explosives," Jade stated, her voice stone cold. "This _is_ the end. For you _and_ your army. And rest assured, if there is any Hybrid left, it won't be for long."

"We'll make sure of that," Lorne confirmed resolutely.

Ford stared at them in thought and his blank face suddenly cracked into a smirk. "Well played," he nodded at Jade. "But you still lose," he added.

"I know."

" _Beaming up now."_


	15. All that could be

"And with that, all the Hybrids in the city were destroyed. Our contacts in the Travelers also confirmed for us that all the Hives that were dispatched to attack Earth were destroyed as well, thus leaving only remnants of Hybrids scattered across the Galaxy. We will not take any chances now though and try to track them all down before they recover and strike back…again," Sheppard said, sitting in the SGC's briefing room along with the IOA representatives, General Landry and Lorne.

"I see. So no one was hurt," Carl Storm stated.

"No, sir. We are however still running diagnostics on the city's systems to confirm that the forced black out will not have any permanent effects. This is the reason why I didn't bring Dr. McKay along."

"Any reason why Mrs. Langford didn't accompany you?" he asked curiously.

"She said it would be…a waste of time. And I can't really order her to go anywhere so…" Sheppard explained rationally. "Also I believe you didn't make the best of first impressions…sending Mr. Coolidge to interrogate her, discarding our plans and all that," he added.

Storm cleared his throat. "That's understandable. Rest assured Colonel, the IOA has already got an earful about that from everywhere possible. I think it's time for us to back off a little. As far as I am concerned, Atlantis is in good hands."

"Thank you, sir."

"By the way, do you have any idea what is Mrs. Langford planning to do now?"

He frowned slightly. "Sort of…why?"

"Homeworld security seems to be very much interested in her," Landry answered. "Considering the information you've provided, they agreed she could prove to be a valuable ally. With all her experiences, abilities, knowledge…they are certainly ready to propose an offer to…"

"I see where this is going, sir," Sheppard stopped him. "If you're suggesting she could…stay as part of the expedition I'm afraid you'll have to deliver bad news to the Homeworld security."

"Oh," Landry grimaced.

"She is not one to share her plans, but from what I understood, she is ready to return to her own reality as soon as we return to Atlantis."

"Still, returning to that place might be extremely dangerous, you could make an…"

"Sorry sir, I don't really think there's anyone who could convince her to change her mind about that. She didn't come here to stay," Sheppard explained and watched the General nod in defeat.

"In that case I will indeed be bringing bad news to the meeting this afternoon."

"Maybe you could still bring some other good news to cheer them up," Sheppard offered. "Jade will not be needing Serenity to go back to her reality, so she's leaving the ship in our hands, which was also part of the reason why Dr. McKay is not here. It's like Christmas all over again…um more importantly, she has given us some tips about where to look for ZPMs that we could use. This intel is not confirmed yet, but as soon as we're back, those planets will be on top of our list."

"ZPMs are indeed great news," Landry agreed. "I believe we have heard enough, gentlemen. You are dismissed and are to return to Atlantis ASAP," he commanded.

"I've already arranged it sir, we are leaving in two hours through the Gate. There is a list of supplies that will go through as well, it's waiting just for your signature," Sheppard informed.

"Just as another ton of paper work, speaking of which," he answered getting up. "Dismissed."

The room became silent, as everyone took off to attend their own matters.

"That went well," Lorne commented from where he remained seated next to his CO.

"We _did_ just destroy most of the Hybrids and avoided a major intergalactic crisis. If they'd found something to complain about, I'd be outta here in a flash," Sheppard smirked.

"How is Mr. Coolidge anyway? Didn't have the time to check on him…being busy saving the all of you," Lorne joked, earning a smile.

"How do I put it…it seems his first off world experience didn't really go according to his plans leaving him severely disturbed. He will not be signing up to my job any time soon," Sheppard replied.

"That's good to hear, sir."

"You could've told us you know," Sheppard said, almost scolding him. "We seriously thought you guys were done for."

"I was merely following the plan and in that plan you couldn't know. Your reactions needed to be genuine. The second he would suspect a single thing, we _would_ be all done for," Lorne explained. "To tell the truth I was slightly taken aback for a while as well. She is way too good an actress for her own good."

He nodded. "McKay must've been totally freaking out," he cracked a mischievous smile.

Lorne replied with a chuckle. "He was."

"Well…let's get ready. Time to go home," Sheppard announced and stood up, leaving the Colonel alone in the room.

Lorne glanced at his retreating form and smiled to himself. Everything was going back to normal. Slowly, but surely.

* * *

She was sitting by the railing of the abandoned balcony again, her eyes almost closed, listening to the calming sounds of the ocean below. It was a strange feeling - peace. One she knows won't last long, but girl can lose herself in the peacefulness of the moment, can't she?

"There you are…of course," Sheppard said, coming through the open door.

"Hm? Ah, you're back already? The interrogation went well then," she stated and watched him out of the corner of her eye as he sat down next to her, action so familiar and yet so estranged.

"Interrog…it was a meeting and yes, it went rather well," he retorted.

"So…no new leader of Atlantis on the way?"

"No…not yet at least. Storm said and I quote: Atlantis is in good hands," he smirked.

Jade frowned and gave him a doubtful look. "Sure," she uttered sarcastically.

He glared at her. "Hey, it is."

"Okay, it is," she rolled her eyes and returned her gaze back at the ocean. "I'll be leaving tomorrow morning then."

"You sure?" he gave her a strange look. "You could totally stick around for a while you know…to rest and…recuperate," he offered with a cocky smile.

"I think I've been resting and recuperating in here for far too long already," she dismissed the thought.

"Do you have any idea what situation will you be returning to?"

She shook her head. "No bloody idea. But it won't be a nice one, that's for sure."

"No, I guess not."

A comfortable silence settled in. Jade glanced at the man sitting beside her and smiled to herself. She could tell, from the peaceful look on his face that the nightmares of the past few months are as good as gone, although not forgotten. But there are things one cannot forget.

"He's alive, isn't he?" he suddenly asked, his whisper piercing through the silence snapping her out of her reverie.

"Hm? What?"

"The Sheppard in your reality. He is alive, right?"

"Last time I checked," she answered, surprising him.

"What really happened?" he dared to pry for more.

She sighed deeply, her eyes fixed on something down the ocean. "After Atlantis's persistence in fighting, our Ford came to the same conclusion as this one. Instead of destroying Atlantis and killing everyone, he put his effort into perfecting the virus and turning everyone into his loyal Hybrids. The virus however had one fatal flaw when used on someone with the ATA gene. I'm sure Keller will find the proper reason, for all I know, the gene created and dispatched the necessary anti-virus to disable the virus before it could even take effect."

"That's how he survived," Sheppard offered.

"That's how he managed to stay sane, with the few of those with the gene that still remained on Atlantis. Trapped inside a city full of Hybrids they did the only thing they could, fought their way out only to be met with fierce resistance. At the end of the day, Sheppard was the only person alive in the city."

"He killed them."

"Yes," she whispered.

"Well…they were Hybrids..."

"Which certainly wouldn't make _you_ feel any better either," she stated.

"No. No it wouldn't," he admitted with a frown. "What did he do after that?"

"He left to join the Genii."

"Genii?!" he grimaced.

"Well, Ladon took no chances himself and launched a heavy offence against the Hybrids. Joining forces with the Travelers, they formed the closest thing to a successful resistance there was after Atlantis's downfall."

"That bad, huh?" he tried to joke.

"I was surprised to find anyone still alive and kicking to tell the truth. The Travelers managed to put their long term strategy of hit and run to a great use and eventually managed to strike efficiently without casualties. They kept their fleet together and changed locations often to avoid trackers. It was like Battlestar Galactica all over again."

"Do you think they managed to last this long?"

"I hope so. Because if they didn't it's going to be one hell of a quick fight when I get back."

"I'd say my offer still stands, but…" he said, leaving it unfinished.

"Yeah."

He didn't say anything and fell back into the strangely familiar silence she recognized as surrender - knowing that all his possible arguments would be useless. This gesture of understanding, no matter how familiar, was still weird coming from this man, who wouldn't give up on anything, even at the cost of his own life. When it comes to his friends, he knows no limits. And she's always admired that.

So she reciprocated that silence and enjoyed this one piece of familiarity she missed so much over the past year. Just for this one moment, she wanted to remember.

* * *

Lorne was standing by his quarter's window and observed the beautiful scenery on the horizon. The sun was setting down, creating a mesmerizing show of colors across the cloudy sky, the two moons barely visible next to it. It was a view worth painting, he mused. Too bad he can never qualify to paint it himself, such a beauty of the moment. He didn't consider himself worthy of such a deed. And yet here he was, holding onto a paintbrush as if it was a lifeline.

He couldn't do it. He could not paint it.

With a sigh he discarded the paintbrush back into the wooden box containing all others and dashed outside his room. He had no idea where exactly his legs decided to take him, but the rest of his body gave no resistance and simply followed as he walked through the hallways, just barely aware of the numerous people passing by, greeting him.

He would probably be mindlessly going around the city for hours if not for a hand grabbing his arm.

He jerked at the contact and his brain was already going through numerous strategies to fend himself from a possible assailant until his eyes focused on the person in question.

"I said: Are you going for the mess hall or what?" she repeated her question, which must've been unheard the first time around.

"Uh…I….guess? Actually, no, not really," he replied still slightly dazed.

She frowned and looked at something ahead. He followed her line of vision to find out he was in fact standing just few feet away from the mess hall's entrance. "Guess you are now," she smirked at him and still holding him, she practically dragged him all the way there. She seated him down on the nearest unoccupied chair and disappeared for moment, only to return seconds later with two cups of tea in her hands.

"Did the Earthly interrogation bore you to death?" she asked, handing him one of the cups.

"You could say that," he replied with a sigh.

"I heard it went well though, all things considered…"

"Did Sheppard tell you that? Of course he did, I doubt he heard anything past: Atlantis is in good hands!" he said earning a chuckle with his Storm voice imitation.

"Heh, still, the IOA backing off…I'd call that a win."

"There's already a poll about how long will it last this time," he grimaces and took a sip of the tea.

"Right until the next big intergalactic crisis," she said bemused.

"What are the odds…"

"None…" she muttered into her cup and sighed. "So, what were you thinking about just now?"

"Hm? Now?"

"Few moments ago, when you were walking down the corridor like a ghost," she specified with an amused smile.

"Nothing much, really, just…well…," he paused, not sure whether to say it or not. She watched him expectantly but said nothing, as if she was waiting for him to solve this inner problem. For a second he was ready to dismiss it, but his brain obviously decided otherwise, because it commanded his voice to speak. "Back uh…on that video…from your reality…" he started.

"Yes?"

"I was…I mean…he was painting something on that balcony where you were reading…" he continued cautiously.

She narrowed her eyes at him for a second, but her face changed into one of realization then. "Well obviously, unless he was only pretending to for five hours," she said in a conservative tone, waiting for him to tell her what his point is, although it was apparent that she knows already.

"He painted the sunset," he stated bluntly.

She chuckled and nodded. "His favorite thing to paint beside mountains, waterfalls and…," she paused suddenly.

"You," he finished for her and frowned at his answer that came out of nowhere. "I mean…uh…"

"Yes. Me. From what I remember it had to do something with my eyes. How original," she scoffed jokingly.

He nodded, seemingly uninterested.

She smirked at that. "I know what this is about," she stated the obvious. "From where I come from, all it took for you to take the damn paintbrush and paint that bloody sun was _me_ daring _you_ to do it. There… _might_ have been a bet to make things even more interesting, but…pff, who cares about bets, right?" she teased him.

Well, he is certainly not one to refuse a challenge.

"That's the one thing we have in common. Never backing down when challenged."

Did he say it out loud? Seeing her piercing all-knowing eyes watching him intently, he could tell he didn't really need to say it. She puzzled him in so many ways. Not because she obviously knew him and could read through him like through an open book, but because he didn't know _her_ at all and still managed to do the exact same thing. And neither bothered him.

"See you tomorrow," her unusually silent voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up as she finished her cup of tea and started to stand up.

"I know it was from you," he said, almost smirking. Almost.

She paused and looked at him strangely. As she stood up fully, there was a small smile playing on her lips. Not one of those fake or polite ones. A simple, genuine smile.

"Good. You can annoy Sheppard with it every now and then. He wanted that special Cash edition _so_ badly."

"So…why give it to me?"

"That's a long, long story," she chuckled.

He sensed the hidden meaning behind those words and knew better than to pry for it. "See you tomorrow then."

She nodded and turned to leave, but stopped hesitantly. For a second he saw a flicker of emotion cross her face, emotion he couldn't quite describe. Anger? Sadness?

Anguish?

He couldn't tell, but then she looked back down on him and smiled contently. "It was good seeing you again, Evan."

And with that she left.

He watched her go with a small smile of his own. And as the sun set down, leaving the mess hall darkened, he found himself filled with jealousy.

He was jealous of _himself_. His other self, that was lucky enough to meet this woman. In another time, in other circumstances, in different, yet the same place. That Col. Evan Lorne was however dead and buried; deceased due to the Hoffan plague. He knew that. And still he wished he could switch places with him few years ago, so he could understand.

People don't call him by his first name, because most of them don't even know it. And if they do, they are not comfortable with it and go with Lorne anyway. Being in the military, where it's all about ranks and sirs and surnames didn't help either. And just so, his own name started to sound strange in his ears.

It didn't sound strange from her, the woman from another universe, _his_ CO, _his_ team member… _his_ friend.

Friend, he mused.

Looking down at his half drunken cup of herbal tea with spoonful of honey and a taste of cinnamon somehow smuggled in there - his favorite combination of flavors and basically the only tea he ever drank - he wondered what it felt like. Having a friend like her.

He'll never know.

* * *

Sheppard looked around his office thoughtfully. It was so quiet as night befell Atlantis, only the comforting humming of the city sounded in his ears. He felt like sleeping for the rest of his life. Or at least twelve hours. For some reason he felt more exhausted than ever in these past few months, which was indeed weird after a day full of doing nothing at all.

It was so quiet.

He expected her to leave in silence, just the way she appeared. Nothing was said before she went through the Gate. Only silent glances of understanding were exchanged, because honestly, what could you really say. Goodbye? Farewell? Thank you?

It has all been said, in one way or another. And the people gathered in the Gate room, even though most of them didn't know her at all understood as well.

He felt a strange emptiness settle inside of him as the gate closed, the act itself screaming the finality of the situation.

She's gone. And she's never coming back. Just as he wished not so long ago.

Sighing, he returned back to the present, suddenly fixing his sight onto something he hadn't even noticed before due to his musings. He got up to pick the item from the shelf it was laid upon and inspected it with a frown that slowly turned into a smile.

_Her laptop._

He sat on the couch and started it up. He has learnt this lesson the hard way. There's always a meaning to everything she does and there's no way she left this thing behind for nothing. And as the loading screen dispersed into the system's desktop his smile widened.

There, in the background picture sitting by the tables in the conference room - which definitely didn't serve any meeting purposes other than "let's meet and party", were _them_.

Sheppard was holding onto a beer, sitting next to Rodney, who seemed to have had one too many of that particular beverage, his head lying on the table drooling all over Ronon's hand, who just happened to notice as he cast a murderous glance his way. Standing behind them was Lorne simply smiling into the camera with Cadman in the middle of sitting down next to Teyla and Jennifer.

As he stared at the simple photo of what only seemed to be his team, he couldn't help but wonder how much meaning a picture can really hold. To the person who took the photo, it reflects the past, everything that was lost, found and lost again.

To him, it's going to be a reminder of what is and can still be - thanks to all those people present on that photo, seen and unseen. And if he could make one wish, one and only wish right now, it would be a selfish one…

 _Please be alive_ , he thought to himself…literally.

**The End**

_...  
_

He watched as the Hybrid Hive exploded, creating beautiful display of blinding lights upon the darkness of space beyond. If one can found beauty in such a thing at all.

_One more to go._

"Losing shields!" announced a voice from behind, but was ignored. "Weapons are down!" Yet still no response from the man. "Sir! We need to get out of here, now!"

Turning around, he faced his second in command with what could easily be misread as defeat written on his face. They need this planet protected so no one was giving up today. But no one was winning either. "Hold positions!"

"But…!"

"I don't wanna hear it, we have to - "

The sound of another explosion interrupted his speech and he looked back through the window in time to see the last remaining Hive disappearing in flames.

"What the…" he mumbled, unknowingly in unison with his XO.

John Sheppard was never a man of faith. He has never prayed for anything before, not even when all hell broke loose one year ago. Because for all he knows, prayers get you nothing in the end. Nothing but more pain.

So as he stared outside the window of his battered ship, seeing only one another ship present on the battlefield that was the orbit of what once was his home, he found himself doing the one thing he never did before.

He prayed.

He prayed that what he's hearing is not just an illusion of his mind. Or him being actually dead. Because there was just no other way…

" _Sorry. I'm late."_


End file.
